18 month old not developing

[Louise0310]

Hi mums, in need of some help. My 18 month old just isn't where he should be. He can't walk, can't talk, can't do any gestures and has never slept properly (probably slept through the night twice). He's due a HV appt & is under speech and language but it's all just breaking my heart not seeing him develop in the way he should be :( any opinions and advice welcome

Just bumping for you because I imagine you're so scared. Is he being assessed for anything like global development delay? My 3 year old still doesn't talk so I completely understand the worry when they're not doing things at the usual time. Hopefully someone comes along with experience

Being a parent is such a worry, OP.

What CAN he do? Does he make eye contact with you? Respond to your voice? Smile, laugh or react in other ways non-verbally when you speak to him? Does he reach for things and show interest?

They do all develop so differently. Hopefully you get some good advice from your HV and if you’re worried keep following up and pushing for more help. If there is a problem it’s best to get anything sorted as early as possible, and best scenario os your just a pushy mum who’s done their best for the kid and there was never anything to worry about in the e first place x

Thanks for your reply. Such a worry! Yeah he does. He plays peek a boo, reaches out for toys & food etc, gives good eye contact, smiles giggles, responds to his name and noises x

Thank you! Not yet. He last had an appt at 15 months in which she said they'll come back and assess his development at 18 months which is what I'm waiting for at the moment. Hoping something comes from this appt! X

Thanks for your reply. Such a worry! Yeah he does. He plays peek a boo, reaches out for toys & food etc, gives good eye contact, smiles giggles, responds to his name and noises x

Have a look at the local offer for your area. (You can just Google "X Local Offer" - sorry if this is over-explaining!) My LA has a really good local offer page with lots of resources and links, ideas of things you can be doing with your child etc. there might also be things going on at a children and family centre, my local one has baby sign / makaton, sensory sessions etc.
There's lots of things you can do to help him communicate while he is pre verbal 🙂 making choices, using pictures, signing. All 3 of my children learned signs when they were babies, my eldest was an early talker so didn't use them for long but it was a godsend for my younger son who had hearing impairment and speech delay.
Early intervention is key and you are a brilliant mum for engaging and acknowledging. It's great that he is under S&L and hopefully they will give you lots of ideas if things to do at home.
He may catch up, he may learn differently, he will always be him 🙂

Has he ever been to nursery? Does he play with other children? A good nursery can do wonders. I’m sure he’s probably just a late developed though, so don’t worry too much.

This all sounds really positive OP, please don't despair! Your little one may be delayed in some areas of development but the range is very wide and lots of children develop different skills at different rates. Work with the professionals and don't lose heart. You sound like a lovely mum 🥰

Life is not a race. In the same way we cannot control when their teeth will come through or their hair grows we cannot control when they will walk or talk. With a mum that’s already on to it he will achieve his best potential. Good luck OP

The not sleeping thing is, unfortunately, and despite what instagram sleep consultants peddle to you, normal.
Agree with PP re checking what's available locally etc

Hello :)
it sounds like you're doing such a good job. My little one is 21 months and is yet to speak. We're also under S&L and he has glue ear. Have you had a hearing test done?
I think it's so hard when you have a little one to compare to others. I have friends with babies a few months older and they seem miles ahead. But all babies/ toddlers develop at their own pace. You're doing the right thing seeing the HV and please push for more if needed.

You should see your GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician who will likely want to screen for metabolic disorders and do a chromosome check and likely initiate a multidisciplinary assessment to see where his development is. You can also ask for a referral to Portage who are great at working with you and your child to address any difficulties and give support.

The good thing for you is your child is 18 months so plenty of time still. I wish you all the best.

Definitely start signing as babies love communicating. Ds had speech delay and didn't really speak until he was about 7, after years of intensive speech therapy, but being able to sign stopped him from getting frustrated. Dgd has just turned 18 months and she knows lots of signs. Her speech is quite good but her gross motor skills aren't! Dc all progress at their own pace and most get there in the end.

I know I cannot put your mind at ease cause I remember the level of stress I had. But my second son walked at 17 months (the first one at 18 months) and he didn’t say any words at that stage. He was also referred for speech therapy which he never end up doing as suddenly at 20 months he made full sentences in one day. He is now three and extremely articulated. Good luck and all the best for your little one!

Can he move in any other way? Because an 18 month old who is super proficient at crawling or bum shuffling or pulling themselves up and cruising but not yet walking is probably still within the realms of normal. Vs a completely static 18 month old is probably concerning.

Hey OP! Don’t despair it sounds like he is showing lots of positive signs of development. My 18 month old is very similar but I’m less worried as he is my third and I know how much they vary. I was worried about the speech but he has just been diagnosed with glue ear which explains a lot. Should all be resolvable (or resolve itself). The walking thing varies so much .. I know kids who were v late walkers and absolutely fine now!. Can he pull himself up and sit up? Is he a crawler? 18 months is obvs a bit later than usual for walking, but unless he seems to be lacking muscle tone I wouldn’t be unduly worried. I definitely agree with keeping pushing HVs and GPs and don’t worry about being a nuisance xx

My daughter is now 37. When she was a baby she slept like a newborn until she was about 7 months. She didn’t speak until she was about 5 - just grunted and pointed. When she was 7 she was found to be dyslexic. She struggled at school at times. When she was 17 her reading age was 12 and she had lots of problems with vocabulary. She worked incredibly hard and has a PhD in Maths and teaches in high school and has 3 children of her own. She amazes me with how much she has achieved. It is worrying when they’re not reaching milestones but remember too that Einstein didn’t speak til he was about 5 either

Hi OP. You're obviously such a lovely and caring mum - your little one is lucky to have you. I know it's such a worry when they're not developing at the typical rate, but honestly, they do sometimes just 'get it' at different times.

You're absolutely doing the right thing by getting your baby checked. In the event that there's nothing immediately obvious causing your baby's delay then please be encouraged by the fact that lots of babies are where your little one is, and then all of a sudden, they just catch up. My first DS didn't crawl or pull to stand until after he was 1, then started walking a few weeks later. My second DS has also only just started crawling at 1 and doesn't cruise yet. I know he'll get there when he's ready.

A friend's DD didn't walk until she was 2. Absolutely nothing wrong with her developmentally, she just didn't really want to walk!

Milestones are based on averages, so there will always be a fair few babies that sit outside the usual window. Yes, sometimes this can be a flag for some kind of developmental issue, but a lot of the time it's just babies doing their own thing and developing at their own pace.

Please try not to lose any sleep over this. If your HV thinks something might be amiss, you'll get referred to the right people who can help your little one catch up.

All the best x

I would suggest seeing your GP asap so they can make a referral to the Community Paediatrics team. The waiting lists can be very long (2 years and counting for us). My DS was late with all milestones but has caught up significantly, so do try and stay positive.

I understand your worry. My 4 year old has developmental delay and I think the period of time where you first start noticing is really difficult because you have no idea where they will end up or what the future will look like. He is 4 now and I see the gap getting smaller and I do feel that by the age of 5/6, he will have caught up, but obviously can’t really be sure. Early intervention is key so speaking the the health visitor and getting referrals- SALT & OT maybe? Is he at nursery as they may be able to help too. Also get his hearing checked. All the best. I know how hard it is.

Not sure if it helps, but my baby woke up three to four times a night every night until he was about 20 months old. We had no sleep throughs at all before that!

Go to your GP as well. HVs are great but not necessarily best placed to refer onwards. My son was very similar to yours when he was that age, I pushed for a community paediatric referral, he had blood tests to rule out genetic disorders, brain scans and sleep monitoring. Nothing showed up and ultimately he is a healthy 12 year old with no disabilities but there's no sense in waiting to see if you can get some of the possibilities checked off now.

Is he crawling and meeting other milestones ? Does he understand what you're saying to him ? My lb was 2 in July and his speech is only just coming on now he's at nursery but mostly uses gestures and noises to tell me what he wants he does however understand everything I say or ask him . They all develop at different rates id honestly not to worry too much some may be advanced to begin with then slow don while others that are behind just all of a sudden get it and fly ahead I have 7 kids and each of them has done things at a different pace . My grandaughter is 3 months older than my 2yo and she never crawled went straight to walking and talks in complete sentences I never compare the 2 x