Anyone else’s kids suddenly refusing every meal you make?

[dongbibi]

Honestly, mine change their “favourite” foods like the wind. One day it’s pasta is life, next day it’s pasta is poison. I’m there staring at the plate like… you literally ate this same meal last Tuesday and asked for seconds.
I’ve stopped trying to understand it. For us, the only thing that kept me sane was sticking to one meal for everyone. I put the plate down, they can eat it or not, and if they’re hungry later they can have fruit or yoghurt. No drama, no negotiations, no “what do you want instead?” chats, because that just turned into a full-time job.
Some days they eat like tiny birds, some days they inhale everything in sight. I’m convinced it’s just a phase and half to do with control — food is one of the only things they feel they get a say in.

Very frustrating! How old are they?

Mine are now young adults. They were absolutely awful with eating from 13 months to about 9 (DC1) and 15 (DC2) . Both of them now eat everything.

DC1 would eat things they didn't like (which was most things) if there were no alternatives but DC2 preferred to go hungry. But we discovered at age 20 that DC2 was autistic and had ADHD so I think it was down to that in their case.

Yes! It’s honestly doing my head in.
I’m wasting so much food but I feel guilty if they’re hungry and haven’t eaten. Every meal time is a battle at the moment. I don’t know whether to put my foot down or let them live on toast 😂

Not usually a problem in my house any more. My dd was very fussy when she was young, and it could be stressful feeding her as she restricted her foods more and more. I found to easiest to go along with it as she would otherwise eat nothing - but I was lucky she preferred healthy options.

My ds is 7 and he is very easy to feed. It’s only when you have an easy child you realise quite how stressful and annoying it is to have a child who refuses to eat what you provide.

These days I say to the family “I’m meal planning for the week - if there’s something you want or do NOT want tell me now, otherwise you get what I choose.”

How much they want does vary hugely - the no drama approach is fine

ideally have stuff that can make a lunch if they don’t eat it to avoid food waste ( put small amounts out on plate )

Yep drives me insane. I did have some success the other day and had to be careful not to show a reaction. DS4 says he doesn't like meat. I made a korma, one with quorn and one with chicken. I knew DD6 would eat the meat one and as I'm vegetarian I'd eat the quorn. Served it on the table with the normal accompaniments of rice, naan, mango chutney etc. I announced which one was meat and which wasn't said no more and started spooning on my plate. DS said nothing and was just watching everyone. After a minute or so I asked if he would like to try mine as it didn't have meat in it. He actually went for it and half way through the meal asked to try the chicken his sister and dad did. This boy hasn't eaten chicken for over a year. I was astounded, tried similar with a different meal and he didn't quite have the same reaction but it's given me thought to just serve from the table rather than dishing it up.

Kids appetites are different from adults. Plus they don’t yet have a lifetime behind them of trying different things and deciding what they like or don’t like.

In our house you eat it or you don’t get pudding. Old fashioned but I don’t care. It works. If he really doesn’t like it that’s fine- he can have fruit instead and then I know it’s something that he’s genuinely not keen on yet. An example of this is salmon. He genuinely doesn’t like it so when I make it for us he has the same veg but with fish fingers. I don’t mind as he eats about 80% the same as us and that’s enough of a win for me.

Oh god yes, same here.

Having one easy eater really shows how exhausting it can be with a fussy one. It’s not just the food, it’s the mental load of thinking about it all the time.

They’re 10 now, so not tiny anymore, but still very much in the “suddenly hates everything they liked yesterday” phase.

Mine is 11 and was bullet proof with food when tiny. Has become fussy now! Mainly over meat. This is a texture thing rather than an ethical thing.

We have lots of conversations about protein and building muscle for dance and horse riding. Also have said she can start to choose and cook ( with my help) one meal a week.

Until then she eats what is presented 😊

That sounds really sensible. I like the idea of letting them cook a meal each week, might actually make them more interested in eating it too.