Co sleeping

[thepurgebegins]

My son is almost 3 and still sleeps with my husband. He doesnt communicate properly yet so havent been able to move him into his own room. My 6 month old sleeps in his cot with me by his side. He does still wake up around 5/6am and want to come in bed with me. Sometimes my toddler can be annoying with wakeup ( when he is alone) and it makes me want to make sure that baby sleeps in his cot. Im sat here crying because I just want to take baby and say everyones sleeping together. Our plan was if he didnt sleep in his cot then then we would get rid of the bed and get a big mattress for all of us. Ds2 deserves the same cuddles as ds1 and the memories of co sleeping. Idk im maybe just emotional but life's too short right? They'll one day just be away from you and Ill regret not taking each moment with them. I know how to co sleep safely so dont need grilling about that. Just an emotional over tired mama wanting some validation i suppose. Im not wanting another child for a good 4 5 years so only thinking about these two and theyll probably share a room soon. Thankyou

What do you mean by your 3 year old doesn’t communicate properly?

Co sleep if you want. It feels amazing but it can be annoying. I wouldn’t want everyone in the same bed as you will be squashed and wake each other up.

Buy the biggest bed you can & co sleep. Stop when it doesn’t work for you any more. That’s exactly how we’ve done things & the benefits are too many to count.
It’s your family & you instinctively know what’s best. If you are both happy with the idea then just do it.

Sounds like DS2 is happy sleeping in his cot? Are you sad about that? I may have read it wrong

I don't follow re 3 year and communication - babies normally go into their own rooms at 6 months so that's not really a factor - it's not like you can't hear them crying.

However if you like co-sleeping - and if your partner is happy about it and you want to all sleep on a super king mattress then knock yourself out

@ToKittyornottoKitty he is going in happy for the time being but a part of me just wants to have him nearby. I now realise I sound crazy.

@theunbreakablecleopatrajones he slept in his cot at first but we were in a 1 bed apartment. We then had to move to my parents house as we experienced structural issues in a house we purfhased. Therr wssnt space for a cot so we co slept. We tried to get him in his room last year but it didnt work. He isnt an issue. Once he can speak more clearly and understand more better we can help him decorate his own bedroom etc.

@Opine thankyou. I just think i sound crazy for wanting to co sleep when baby is actually happy in his cot ( for now). Im very tired recently as DH is working alot recently so emotions are high!

I only started sleeping with my baby when he was 13 months 😂 he had months of back to back teething and horrible illnesses which transformed him from a baby who slept in his cot to one that can only sleep with me! So you have plenty of time for your baby's sleep to regress.

Also, I coslept with my mum until I was 8!

And my dad had to have his mum's hand on his cheek to fall asleep until he was 7!! My grandma is 84 and still moans about this!

So be very very careful what you wish for 😂

Does he ‘just’ have speach issues? Some times speach isssues can be part of wider issues. If your child does have more additional needs the long term plan to have another child and make him share a bedroom may not be in his best interests.

Mine was happy in his cot until 6 months. Then it started getting dark and cold in winter plus teeth and he came into our bed, yet to be evicted. That actually worked well for us because he was bigger and he can roll and crawl so I was less stressed about him being smothered than with a tiny baby. So don't rule out a transition yet!

Are you receiving any help for your 3YO’s speech? He should be communicating fluently at that age so definitely get on to the HV/GP, have his hearing checked and if affordable I’d strongly recommend private SALT. Communication has little to do with being in their own room though- most people move their baby at 6 months and have a monitor.

If DC2 is happy in their cot I think you’d be utterly mad to try to mess with that. Nothing wrong with cosleeping if it’s what gets everyone a restful night, and you may end up there later on, but if you have a baby that is sleeping well then do not change a thing!! There are also additional challenges with a 6MO vs. a 3YO like the 3YO can be left by themselves in your bed but older babies that are rolling, crawling, pulling to stand etc. really need you to be in the room with them for safety if they’re not in a cot, unless you plan to completely empty your room except for a giant mattress on the floor and a stairgate on the door.

@Bitzee Yeah I agree id be playing with fire. I dont agree however that he should be speaking fluently. Irs more common in boys t o have delayed speech. In the past 3 4 months he has picked up on alot of words . He can say yes or no or tell me what he wants by saying a few words. He will be 3 next month. He understand things like get your coat and shoes but if I said lets choose paint samples for your bedroom or would you like to go here today he woukdnt fully understand. We or nursery arent concerned. My brother didn't speak until he was 5 and dint have any additional needs. Just takes time for some more than others

By this age he should have at least 1,000 words. Be talking in sentences of at least 4 to 6 words and asking questions.

If he doesn’t understand what you’re saying it’s more than just a speech issue. It’s a language issue too.

Has he had a hearing test and been seen by SaLT?

We coslept 4 (super king) in a bed for a while, mainly for convenience as I was breastfeeding and then we just stick to it until he started sleeping through at a year and moved him to a cot. It was great for us, I'm not sure I'd do it if he was sleeping happily in a cot though!

I do agree with others re speech it is unusual for him not to be able to communicate effectively at 3.

We coslept 4 (super king) in a bed for a while, mainly for convenience as I was breastfeeding and then we just stick to it until he started sleeping through at a year and moved him to a cot. It was great for us, I'm not sure I'd do it if he was sleeping happily in a cot though!

I do agree with others re speech it is unusual for him not to be able to communicate effectively at 3.

I would suggest trying to sidecar the cot to your bed - you take one side off, raise the cot so it’s level with your mattress and then baby can sleep in his cot independently but he is still next to you and if he wakes you can just cuddle without having to move him into your bed. So best of both worlds.

Unfortunately I also agree about your 3 year old’s speech issues. Kids do all develop at their own rates and boys speech can be slower, but to have only a couple of words and reduced understanding at age 3 is quite a significant delay and no longer just a ‘developing at their own rate’. For his sake and development he needs to be seen by SALT.

@Cotswoldmama @gentlemum thankyou. The nursery are doing a referral but they arent worried at all. I must have put 3 by accident he is 2 yesrs old 3 in a few months so imo he has some time yet to pick up words. He does know alot already