SENCO thinks reception DD is ND

[CelticParkG40]

Hi,

Firstly I apologise:

1. for the length of this post
2. if its not in the right place (normally only on AIBU and pregnancy in the last few years)

Anyway, my lovely little DD started reception in September. We had a parents evening just before half term, all was well, learning things very quickly, no worries there - couple of problems, she absolutely cannot sit still and puts everything which she shouldn't in her mouth. Has to have a wobble cushion (?) and/or a sensory stone for carpet time. Didn't think much of it at the time so didn't ask, as the days went on I assumed it may have been implied but the last day of the half term I outright asked the teacher, 'do you think DD might be ND?' - her response was 'quite possibly yes'. (SENCO for the school is DD's teacher).

I have done allot of my own research, well, Googling and its just a minefield in all honesty.

Everything which she exhibits at home I assume are just normal 'kid' behaviour.

• getting up from the dinner table countless times in one meal time
• has to be be asked numerous time to do one thing (e.g. brush your teeth)
• extremely emotional outbursts when home from school, starting on the walk home - the little ones are all exhausted when they get home and act out right?!
• generally loud/shouting all the time
• in the last few weeks has started climbing and launching herself off absolutely everything
• everything goes in her mouth (baby DD is teething and doing the same so assuming she is copying her)
• generally very argumentative at the moment - but again, tiredness!

Some other things:

• She is very, very clever, loves reading and learning new things.
• She will also talk to absolutely anyone who will listen (once she has met them, very wary of strangers) and prefers company of adults - never been overly concerned with lots of child friendships, has one intense school friendship.
• Will play alone
• Not 'daydreamy'

My DH is very much 'wait and see', doesn't really want to talk about it or share what the teacher said, which is odd as this is his bread and butter, his job is working at an SEN school with high needs children which exhibit difficult behaviours. My thinking is that if its a possibility, I'd like to be as proactive as possible.

Not really sure why I am writing this, I think I just needed to get it out. Any advice gratefully received. Honestly, I am struggling with her outbursts and controlling the challenging behaviours, but again, its all new to me as she is my eldest and thinking its part of having a small child.

Basically, what I think I’m trying to say is-
teacher has only known DD since beginning of September- surely there’s more at play if she thinks DD is ND already. Surely lots of kids struggle to sit still?

From your post there are a lot of ND signs there.

The teacher may have only known your DD since September but as a parent of three ND children, I can often pick up another one across the room at places because certain things do stand out and then I’ll talk to their parents and they will confirm I’m right.

Remember that the teacher has SENCO training and will have experienced classes of NT children to know that your DD stands out.

ND is often genetic. You might think things are normal because it’s what you do or was normal in your household growing up or it’s what your other children do. However, often in a NT household it wouldn’t be normal behaviour.

Following with interest.

I’ll also add that it’s quite a bold move for any teacher to say they believe a child is ND because many parents are not receptive to hearing it so your DD’s teacher must be fairly confident in her judgement.

It is easy to miss things as a parent as we only have one or a handful of kids to compare with.
A reception teacher has 30 children every year, so after 5 years will have seen 150 children.
So if an experienced teacher is flagging up concerns it is surely worth starting the assessment process, or getting in the queue at least. If it turns out to be nothing more than a bit of immaturity then that's great.

Your DH might be scared.

@FuzzyWolf please would you be able to tell me what you think is ND behaviour?

Goes without staying, doesn’t bother me if DD is NT and honestly erring on the side she is I think. I think DH seems a bit in denial as she isn’t extremely ND like he deals with at work. But anyone I have confided in says it’s normal. Very torn.

I agree with the teacher. So many signs there.

I guess that’s why she didn’t outright say it, only when I asked her she said yes.
I do trust her judgement though. DDs class is a class of 20, reception and year one mixed with 10 per year group.

If they have raised it then it my view it’s worth exploring, as well as the indicators you have described. I also understand that teachers can be cautious about possibly bringing it to your attention which makes me think if they have then they must feel there is a reasonable likelihood. Ultimately by sticking your head in the sand you will only be doing a disservice to your child if they are ND by delaying in getting any support as well as just the understanding and clarification that any assessment can give either way.

I would say ASD and/or ADHD. I would make an appointmemt to the SENCo and ask them what the next steps are. She seems to have lots of sensory needs, there is a really good book to support sensory needs I will see if I can find the title.

I would say ASD and/or ADHD. I would make an appointmemt to the SENCo and ask them what the next steps are. She seems to have lots of sensory needs, there is a really good book to support sensory needs I will see if I can find the title.

“Understanding your child’s sensory signals” by Angie Voss

All ten of your bulletin points can be. Alone, none of them are likely to mean much but the more of them you have, the more likelihood that there is more to it than just immaturity.

Thank you for your replies everyone. I will arrange to talk to her teacher and see what the next steps are.

I am actually speaking to the teacher/SENCO after school today. I am a bit nervous, does anyone have any words of wisdom or suggestions of the best questions I can ask?

Ask if there is anyone else they need involve eg language and communication team, ed pysch. Ask if they will put in a professional referal to cahms (more likely to be successful. Ask for her to be put on Sen register.

After the meeting email the teacher of a summary and ask of there is anything the disagree with or have forgotten. Print it out and keep it in a physical file. There is going to be a lot of paper work and you need to keep on top of it.

The only thing that strikes me as no typical is the stuff in her mouth.

has she already turned 5? My reception class daughter will sit at a table fine, but my other child who starts next year gets down constantly and I can’t see that changing anytime soon. I’d say that’s normal for a just turned 4 year old. But typically a 5 year old will sit at a table and eat.