Is “Unschooling” Really a Good Idea?

[CareerJuggler]

Has anyone here actually tried unschooling? I keep seeing people rave about letting kids learn whatever they want, whenever they want — but I can’t tell if it’s freeing or just unrealistic.
I get the appeal of letting kids follow their interests, but part of me thinks most children would just play Minecraft all day if given the choice. How do they learn maths or writing without a bit of structure?
Would love to hear from anyone who’s done it — did it work out, or did you end up bringing some structure back in?

This is such a good and interesting point! Of course a 7 year old will not start asking about chemical reactions or the theory of relativity unless they are introduced to those things.

I think the idea of unschooling is lovely but I definitely don’t know enough to be able to follow my child’s interests all day, answering questions and making it real. Every interaction would be me saying ‘errr let me google that for you…’

I’m absolutely fascinated by people who home school by choice, because I could no more do this for my kids than fly! My husband and I are degree-educated professional but I wouldn’t know where to start fostering a true deep understanding of anything, let alone teaching the basics of maths, reading and science. My son is 4 and has only just started school, but I don’t believe I’d be able to make his days any different from what we did over the summer during his nursery break - lots of activities, lots of playing, some TV. We’re good at fresh air and exercise, not great at focussed activities, because that isn’t where his interests lie.

I’d love to know what ‘a day in the life of an unschooler’ looks like. A really good one, who takes it seriously. Is it not unrelentingly difficult for the parents?

I know; I was just responding to a PP who said "A school environment can teach in a way the home environment can't" ☺️

Wow. 14 is too young.

I home educated one of my children (he has autism and adhd, but went under the radar enough at school that they decided he needed no extra help. Then complained about him not doing work without needing help. 🙄 plus other things like bullying, staff turnover)

I didn't unschool, but knew loads who did. I think it has vastly changed since one of my friends unschooled her kids - screens everywhere now. This friends kids all went to university.

The more recent unschoolers have kids who have sat on screens, and that's all they want to do. They are adults now, like my son, and they are still just sitting on screens. My son did a home education college course at 14, and is in his last year at college, looking at apprenticeships and jobs. Some of these kids couldn't even spell simple words well into their teens. What are they going to do? Are their parents going to support them forever?

Unschooling isn't supposed to be about letting them do what they want all day on a screen. You're supposed to show them stuff, see what they're interested in, expand on that. How will they discover stuff they may like if they're never shown anything outside of a computer game?

The guff I've seen on home ed groups too, about writing reports for the local authority. Trying to make playing Minecraft all day every day an educational experience. Ffs.

Some of them are also completely anti school so look down on anyone who sends their kids to school. My others were very happy at school, so I had no reason to home ed them.

Obviously I'm not perfect, there are definitely gaps in my sons education, but he has had an education, that has suited him when I know school failed him. He loves screens as much as the next teen but has been encouraged to see that there is more to life, there's a whole world out there to explore.

It might work for some children, but I only know two families that have actually adopted this approach, and in both cases, it has been a bit of a disaster.

It can work for specific circumstances

• naturally driven children in a highly literate household
• SEND children, who have reached crisis in mainstream

it can go catastrophically wrong - my son had a boy in year 7 who basically couldn’t read, write or do any maths. he just never showed any interest. Great at woodwork though. Poor kid had to learn to read in year 7, his chances on any gcses are very low. He can read now, but he’s in year 8…. writing isn’t going well, spelling horrendous (obviously). maths still very basic. I think the basics need to be driven even if the child is not interested (reading, writing, maths, science).

Add on: the child was unschooled in the primary years, joined a school in year 7. Not a success so far.

@topsecretcyclist So are your dc who are in school not encouraged to have a broader education and range of interests too? We never just stuck to the school curriculum here. Dc had varied interests and have expanded on them in adult life. Too few dc do this and we do have quite a few rather boring young people around who don’t know much outside the school curriculum so they have limited conversation. Good parents allow all dc to broaden out their education, not just home schooled ones.

@goldenautumnleaves25 that screams some form of undiagnosed language issue to me. It may not be home education to blame, and even if they might have been diagnosed in school, after all there are plenty of children who do have undiagnosed needs and unmet needs in school.

I'm a primary school teacher, so I appreciate my view is probably biased.

To me it seems like educational neglect. It's all well and good when they're 6, and with years ahead of them to "catch up" and "learn what they need to know". It's not so cute when they're 16 and not even close to the required academic standard to get onto a course they want to do.

Not long ago, an online person I follow who does basically this, showed a maths workbook her 16yo DD had been working on. She was all proudly showing off what her DD had completed... I have twins in Year 4, almost 9yos, doing the same level of work...

No.

it’s been show time and time again that children thrive with structure and routine. It’s absolutely fine to tailor learning to their interests but giving them total control of what they learn is going to be a recipe for disaster 99% of the time.

Again @zingally isnt it highly probable that that online person had a child with undiagnosed learning difficulties?

That brings other considerations, as in how diagnosis pathways are set up and accessed. But it doesn’t mean that home education was definitely the problem, or not all of the problem.

Unschooling is mostly used as the transition between a school education and Home Education, particularly if there are MH issues.
it worked really well for my youngest son. In his own words school killed his love of learning, the rigid inflexibility style didn't suit him. He thrived much better with a self - led, self-directed from of education.
He passed all his exams , including A levels without any assistance from myself. He then managed to get a scholarship to a University studying software engineering which is something he is hyper focused and passionate about. He's even managed to get a part time remote job with an American company creating code for AI, alongside studying.
I find topics like this on MN are often dismissed by very narrow minded people with no personal experience, same with home education.

That is what I was thinking NT kids will pick up reading by street signs, books etc. Many posters here talk about being able to read before school. DS is more sciencey/ mathsy but he could do simple single digit addition before school.

He learned reading within a year though. His spelling is bad because his vocabulary is very limited due to no reading. Maths is getting better as well, but there is only so much you can do in a year.
The household apparently doesn’t have many books, so there was never a rolemodel for reading. I think its mostly neglect, with a child mainly interested in manual things.
my oldest is severely dyslexic , no way he would gave been able to learn to read in a year.

I'm not sure why you think I ignored my school educated kids while home educating my youngest. They're all adults now, two are at uni. I encouraged all my kids in anything they were interested in, whether it was stuff they learned at school or not. I learned a lot from all of their interests. I didn't just send them to school then banish them to their bedrooms the rest of the time. We'd talk, share interests, watch stuff, read stuff, go on days out. They did clubs, sports, music, the usual sort of things.

Just because I didn't home educate them doesn't mean I was doing nothing with them at home!

You assume there are books in the household. Surprising amounts of households have very few books, and street signs aren’t very varied/interesting.

It can only work if you have generational wealth and never need to work a proper job. Then you can grow up on your lovely estate, travel the world, ride ponies and play different sports with no care of ever needing any proper qualifications.

Home educated children do go to uni. I follow someone on social media whose home educated child is starting an open uni course aged 14. They can also get GCSEs, but news flash - they're not actually necessary either, especially if your child isn't academically minded. There are many more ways to succeed in education other than just school - gcses - a levels - uni.

Also I'm curious - Why are all the really boring bits of chemistry necessary if you don't want to study chemistry or follow a career in chemistry? Why do children HAVE to learn it? Who benefits from teaching children lots of very boring bits of various subjects that they don't care about and don't need? What if a child wanted to learn mandarin instead of French but school only offered french? What's the point in that child being forced to learn difficult french grammar - because some politician decided that all children must learn French?

Maybe if children were able to opt out of subjects that they aren't interested in, and focus on the ones they are interested in, children and teachers would be much happier. I imagine behaviour would improve. I would have loved to be able to drop RE and geography at year 9, for example and dedicate that time to English, science and Art. But i had to sit there hour after hour learning about stuff i couldn't care less about. What a waste of time. I don't remember any of it now.

As for not having access to things like basketball courts - the beauty of home ed is that you can go to your local park and use their basketball court for free any time you like. Sports centres exist. Groups and classes for home ed children.

Changing Our Minds by dr naomi fisher is a really good book on the futility of the modern education system.

Thousands of SEN children up and down the country that have been forced out of education are being home educated from families of all income levels. Some might choose to unschool.

I think you should probably read up a bit more on the subject before assuming it's done by rich parents who don't work.

Well, if you don't learn the boring bits of chemistry you can't do the fun, exciting, more cutting edge parts. I didn't like chemistry when I was 11, but by the time i was 16 I liked it so much I did it for A-level. If I had been allowed to just follow my interests then I would have given up before I got to the parts that I did enjoy.

Do you really think there's no value in sometimes having to do things that you wouldn't choose yourself as a leisure activity? I think anyone who has never done that at all in childhood is going to encounter some real shocks in adult life.

I would also probably give the life of the 14 year old starting an open uni course a bit more chance to play out before concluding that this path is an unqualified success...

@Sterlingrose I think the poster said it can only work if you have wealth. I think that’s right. Both parents needing to work - what then? I guess the state pays as they go on benefits. Whether they can then educate properly is a moot point. Probably not. Many parents are not capable of guiding dc and don’t have the expertise or patience. Only the ones who have money can utilise the best resources and who are well educated themselves.

I mean . There are plenty of lists online of very successful home educated people.

If society thinks getting GCSEs, A levels and a degree are the absolute measure of educational success surely they should be celebrating a 14 year old studying for a degree?