Is “Unschooling” Really a Good Idea?

[CareerJuggler]

Has anyone here actually tried unschooling? I keep seeing people rave about letting kids learn whatever they want, whenever they want — but I can’t tell if it’s freeing or just unrealistic.
I get the appeal of letting kids follow their interests, but part of me thinks most children would just play Minecraft all day if given the choice. How do they learn maths or writing without a bit of structure?
Would love to hear from anyone who’s done it — did it work out, or did you end up bringing some structure back in?

No, that's deschooling.

Unschooling is what @MintTwirl described, and it can indeed be a long-term strategy that can be followed permanently. Plenty of children who have never been to school are unschooled.

I am dubious about it because we live in a world where children have to know certain things whether they are curious about them or not and there gets a point where you have to evidence your learning for employers or to access courses.

I think its great for some of a child's learning but not all. It think all unschooling when young, and more formal elements when older could work.

I also think its really intensive for the parents.

I govern at a very special school and they follow the childrens lead for learning as there is no other way to do it with this cohort. The TA teaching 1 to 1 has to be really skilled and knowledgeable to draw out some quality learning in what they do, Or the learning is basic. Its not unschooling but its similar in that if decides a child is interested in bats, they do stuff like why dont you write to the president of the bat society to get his english in, why dont we make a bat box, why dont we look at sound waves, let's see how wings work.

Its very creative and responsive but not for the unskilled.

Children dont know what's possible or what's necessary.

I didn’t know there was a Reddit like that. I guess there’s a big difference between genuine home education and just… not really teaching at all. It’s a shame if the ones doing it properly get lumped in with the neglectful ones.

I agree — kids do need some structure, especially as they get older. I like the idea of following their interests and still guiding them a bit so they don’t miss the basics. What you described with the bat project sounds great actually — learning through what they enjoy but still keeping it meaningful.

In England you can go to college at age 14. Most children are in school obviously but I have taught under 16s in college.

In England you can go to college at age 14. Most children are in school obviously but I have taught under 16s in college.

I think what many are missing here is that unschooled children can do formal exams if they want to. They can reach a point where they realise they have to jump through that hoop, and learn what’s needed very quickly.

Where i grew up (rural area) the local College offered more practical/vocational GCSE courses to pupils from several local schools on Wednesday afternoons - it allowed access to courses that couldn't be offered by the schools individually.

OTOH when I went to College for A levels aged 15 (September birthday!) I had to still officially be registered at school for the first year.

But all that was back in the last millennium...

I thought about it.....

But even with a very nerdy autistic kid who naturally fixates on academic topics..
I just couldn't take the leap. I always insisted on a bit of maths and a bit of writing each day.

Sometimes the maths and writing would drag on and take up too time uch and I would wonder if they were getting in the way of his natural curiosity and drive to learn. As the unschoolers would say.

Having seen other people unschool- I think
it works best in a zero screens household.

I mean, if your Mum gently encouraging you to do chimney sums is an interference with your natural drive to learn..... then a machine designed to keep you in a cycle of addictive dopamine hits is definitely also a problem.

I think the idea of complete freedom to self educate is a bit of a pipe dream. The parents who home educate successfully either control the child's activities directly or control the child indirectly by controlling their environment.

I think the majority of people who say they're unschooling are actually neglecting their child's education. I think they are the reason we're all facing much more control and interference as home educators.

To home educate properly is really challenging. To unschool properly is even harder. I had visions of being a chilled out unschooling family when we deregistered DD, all interest led and autonomous learning... Then DD was like "I want a GCSE in Year 7" so that went out the window and in came the structure and curriculum 😅

My understanding of it is that it’s often used with children who have suffered trauma in the school system and need a while to decompress.

My siblings and I were unschooled and we did well at university. I grew up in the states and we had quite a few unschooled friends who have also done well. My brother is an architect, one sister works in tech and the other is a psychologist (and I’m a primary school teacher). I think it works with your parents do a lot of enrichment activities with you. We did lots of museums, galleries, concerts, plays, instruments, art classes, riding, skiing, reading, nature activities. My parents were also highly educated who encouraged us to pursue our interests.

I found the concept very attractive when my autistic ds was younger. School shut down his curiosity and natural learning. I knew that I didn’t have the temperament - I’m too anxious and I wouldn’t be able to be hands off in learning.

I also considered a Sudbury School where the learning is self directed and they have facilitators rather than teachers, to guide dc to the resources they need. But I distrusted their screen policy. I don’t believe that given a choice my ds wouldn’t choose Minecraft all day.

But it breaks my heart to watch him slowly unclench on the summer holidays and then lose him again when term starts, year on year.

I think like anything it's down to the detail.

I was v much part of the crunchy crowd when mine were small - homebirth, cloth nappies, ebf etc. A lot of people progressed to home education and unschooling.

The families where these things worked well were those who had more money, resources and where the educating parent was v well qualified to do so. It also all looked a lot more enviable when the kids were much younger.

The majority of the people I knew then however, ended up with kids who spend a lot (a lot a lot) of time on screens while their parents tried to wfh and manage kids of different ages. They went out less and the kids absolutely did not follow interests and spend time outdoors - they became screen obsessed.

Nearly all of those families are now negotiating the very sketchy college offer for their teens to try to secure them access to GCSE exam centres and the pay off for the care free early days seems to be part time college and long commutes, with not great grades at the end of it.

I am sure it can be great and done brilliantly. Am also sure that's not the majority experience of these things.

Not if you want your kids to function in mainstream society, we all have to fit a ‘mould’ even loosely, like getting bare minimum GCSEs for any job really, , being able to converse with different types of people not just others who live outside the norm.
I have nothing against proper home schooling, online schools, i know people who do this and their kids have done well, but just to let a child ‘loose’ 24/7 is not setting them up for life. I agree some kids can’t cope with mainstream but you can still teach them at home or enrol in online school if they can’t teach.
Also, don’t we all let our kids be in nature, make things out of LEGO or similar, draw, paint, read, run around aimlessly, do sports, watch CBeebies etc when they’re not at school so they are following their interests?

The majority of the people I knew then however, ended up with kids who spend a lot (a lot a lot) of time on screens while their parents tried to wfh and manage kids of different ages. They went out less and the kids absolutely did not follow interests and spend time outdoors - they became screen obsessed

I think this is the case with the family I know. They don’t limit the iPad at all - and the boy is now exhausted every time he socialises or goes anywhere. I feel sure it’s because he spends about 70% of his day on his iPad. It’s the first thing he reaches for when he wakes up. His parents say it’s ok as he plays educational games and draws on it among other things, and screens are the future etc, but I know that if I’ve spent 70% of my day on a screen, I feel strange.

How ridiculous. As a pp said, proper "unschooling" wont be letting the kids do whatever they want but carefully managed and directed by their parents. Its not letting them get up whenever and do what the fuck they want in the hope that something good sticks. Most parents probably think their kid is curious and enquiring, but let's be real, kids, especially those with the world at their fingertips in a tablet, are not going to be learning the boring, essential stuff. Its bollox, middle class, pie in the sky bollox.

If you mean unschooling where parents carefully craft the learning environment around their children's interests to meet their educational needs in a manner that looks very different to school - it can.

If you mean unschooling where the child is made to be responsible for their own education, where the child is made to be responsible to be actively 'curious' before the parents step in, or worse, are made responsible to go find their own resources - no, it doesn't, and it's educational neglect. The sad stories where kids are blamed for 'not being curious enough' when really it's adults putting far too much on small shoulders are heartbreaking. I've sadly seen far more of this type than the former, especially when it comes to older kids.

I was a structured home educator. My youngest is now school educated in secondary. My kids still had plenty of time to follow their own interests in both situations.

There's plenty of time outside the school day for children to delve into their natural curiosity and learn things outside the curriculum. Or build on topics taught in the curriculum

My concerns would be that yes many children are naturally curious, but you can only be curious if you know about things to be curious about in the first place. If you aren't in structured education you arent exposed to a lot of topics, and don't even get the opportunity to be curious about them. School teaches other skills, not necessary just in the curriculum, that are vital for people to be able to function in society.

I also think the whole concept paints topics like Maths, English, science as boring topics when actually these are fascinating, but to enjoy for example maths you do need to wade through some more boring topics. They can be hard to learn, and I think it unlikely children are going to naturally start learning detailed chemistry off their own back.

I also had 2 science/maths teachers for parents, and science lecturers for grandparents, and despite the fact that they are all good teachers I cannot learn complex maths/science topics from them. It just didn't work, I found it tedious and irritating and we would just argue. A school environment can teach in a way the home environment cant, and I had good resources at home

I think it can be very successful with the right inputs and a child that is engaged. It can also incorporate formal learning and structure if that's what the child wants. You can still limit screens and unsuitable things. No one will be giving a 5 year old cocaine just because they shoe an interest.

I am currently unschooling one of my children, although not by choice, but because the local authority are not providing a suitable education. He is autistic and absolutely won't do things he isn't interested in. He is now learning to read (school couldn't teach him) and asking to do writing. His special interests have all been things like space and Romans, so would have been learning them on the curriculum anyway.

On the flip side, I would not be qualified to support learning of these things at secondary level. I am very much hoping that the local authority get their arse in to gear soon and supply some sort of education not given by me! I would also hate to unschool his sibling, as all I would hear all day is nagging to go play video games.

I agree about only being able to be curious about what you know exists - and my concern that also will surely, in practice, be really shaped by the parents' interests. An unschooled kid wandering around my house could easily develop interests in art, history, maps, English literature, because we like all those things and have lots of things relating to them around. We don't have much scientific content around at all, nothing on engineering, nothing to do with organised sport. I would be very surprised if a child unschooled in my house became interested in the wide range of things that my children have become interested in through exposure at school.

"Educated and motivated parents often make a real success of home schooling, and even unschooling. But the same parents can promote education philosophies from a place of privilege and ignore the reality for the majority of children exposed to this, which is a childhood of screen time and missed opportunities for development and exercise"

Yes. Home educators are often fantastically blinkered by privilege. And have no idea how their chosen lifestyle plays out in the wider world.

To give an example: Where I live there is an epidemic of schooled kids on part time timetables. Schools don't have the resources to meet their needs and are discouraged from excluding them officially.
I worked on an advice line for parents of SEN kids. It was one of the most common topics to come up.

Then, in my personal life I would chat to home educators who thought they were trailblazers for convincing a head teacher to allow "flexischooling"

Sadly, many school environments can't teach very well. The reason we chose to home educate DD through secondary is because none of the schools locally have any sort of set up or provision for MAT pupils and there are no grammars here. They're all mixed ability with no setting or streaming, and having taught in several, the preferred method is high achieving well behaved girl sits next to badly behaved low achieving boy, teachers pat themselves on the back for "peer education", girl has a terrible experience of school.

I home educate specifically because I didn't want my daughter to learn the way a school environment teaches.

It it chicken and egg though. Kids who can manage unschooling do well with unschooling. There are definitely kids who don’t though… robbie williams was on a podcast with his wife saying they’d tried it for a while with their kids and they ended up really behind where they should be.

Personally I as a child would have loved it. My kids definitely not!

But home ed isn’t the same as unschooling.

Unschooling is 100% child led no curriculum or anything.