Are birthday parties for kids getting out of hand?

[warrenettie]

I’ve just come back from yet another over-the-top children’s birthday party, and I can’t help wondering when things got so extreme. There was a hired entertainer, a balloon arch taller than my house, themed cupcakes, party favours that looked like wedding gifts — the works.
When I was a kid, it was a few friends, a homemade cake, and maybe a game of pass the parcel. Now it feels like there’s this unspoken competition to outdo each other. I get that people want to make their kids happy, but surely the kids would be just as thrilled with something simple?
At the same time, I do understand the excitement of planning something special — it’s hard not to get carried away when you see how happy they are.
So what do you think? Have kids’ parties become too much, or is it just the new normal?

What are ‘party favours that look like wedding gifts’?

Nothing else you describe sounds that OTT - a hired entertainer, some cakes, balloons - all of that was normal to encounter when I was a child.

I wouldn’t have space to host a party at my house, so finding a venue with some kind of activity is essential.

My husband is a children's entertainer and he doesn't come cheap at all. Some parents go all out with a top tier birthday cake, balloons, party bags, cupcakes, banners, hand made costumes for every kid, even props, M&S delivered party platters for the kids and canopes for the adults, plus prosecco. Then loads of prizes, all in a church hall. We estimate the cost of around £700+ they pay out. Not including presents. Then there are parents who hire my husband and a church hall and you know they've been up all night making sandwiches and that's it.

I can tell you that in both cases, mum has done 100% of the work and mental load. When my husband asks the dad a question on the day, they always shrug and point to his wife.

Honestly, some parents do do this. Once had a parent who had a t-shirt print company make tshirts for 25 kids. Easily £300 just for that. Most parties my husband is booked for, there is wine and champagne for the adults

Last couple of parties we did, we hired a village hall for one with a bouncy castle, and just made up a little home-made buffet of sandwiches, fruit et cetera, and for the other we just hired a soft play. Always supermarket cakes. Most parties we’ve been to have been like that or at someone’s home. I don’t think people went overboard when we lived in a naice area, in fact everyone was a bit lowkey; the worst cake DS ever ate from a party was a double party at a multi million pound home. When we moved somewhere cheaper I did weirdly notice some of the parties were a bit fancier. The kids enjoyed it though, so who’s to say what’s best?

It’s normal nowadays. I’ve been doing it for 4 years now for my daughter, and her 5th birthday is coming up. She wanted another hall party with an entertainer. My initial plan was just to invite a few friends over for an after school tea, but the list kept getting longer since she has lots of friends (and she’s been invited to their parties too). My husband’s family always come as well, so we decided to have it in the hall again, it saves my house from all the mess! We’re keeping it simple though, just a DIY spread and an entertainer.

Not around here. We’re still very much ordinary village hall bouncy castle parties or soft play. In fact, the last soft play party we went to, 2.5 hours and they didn’t even serve food! There was just cake at the end in party bags with some sweets 😳 The kids were starving by the end as no one fed them dinner before thinking there would be food at the party.

For older ones, it’s more sleepovers and pool parties and going out for pizza or similar.

But dc’s friends aren’t exactly the ones with the very Instagram-y parents. I don’t know anyone who’d do that sort of party, though I don’t doubt they’re out there somewhere.

I agree. In Reception and year 1, it’s common to hire a hall, plus entertainment, sometimes a bouncy castle on top, lovely party tea, drinks for the adults, arts and crafts table plus party bags. Must be close to £1k. It’s gone a bit nuts.

Most of the parents in the primary school my daughter just left couldn't afford this. It was very down to earth parties and not even all kids had one.

I think it depends on your social circle. I have one teen and one almost 10yo, with loads of party experience between them, and they’ve never been to anything massively excessive.

Yet another 'x feature of modern parenting has got out of hand: discuss' post....

Sounds like my dcs's friends parties, usually a hired hall with some kind of entertainment or soft play/bouncy castle hire. It's expensive (esp as London prices), but dcs are at a private school so I assume the parents can comfortably afford it. As a parent I'm happy enough to pay for it as I know it's not an ongoing cost - the parties stop after a few years and it's just a way of contributing to the social calendar. I'd much rather organise a party than play dates as I'm not keen on having other dcs in our home.

As a child we had mostly home-based parties, with a couple of hired hall or leisure centre parties (maybe one a year out of the class of 30). But I went to a state primary in a deprived area, so parents weren't as well off and I'm sure families in that area are still doing budget parties these days as they just wouldnt be able to afford it.

Think I’ll wait until you come back OP and convince me this isn’t another feckin AI post before I brother my arse to answer the question.

It’s always the mums doing the organising, baking, wrapping, decorating — everything. I’ve been to parties where it’s so obvious one person’s been running around for days making it all perfect while everyone else just shows up and enjoys it. £700 is wild though! I can’t imagine spending that much for a few hours of chaos and cake crumbs.

Having it in a hall definitely makes sense though — less stress and no cleaning up crumbs for days afterward. A DIY spread and entertainer sounds like a perfect balance.

Ha! Sadly, I’m just a tired human mum with crumbs in her hair and a half-inflated balloon on the sofa.

I personally don’t go over the top and I don’t feel the need to compete with others that do. We also don’t do parties every year. My DC have only had two each (eldest 9)

My DC are much older now, but from what I’ve heard of friends with younger children, it does seem that kids parties are much more extravagant and expensive. I was a child of the 80s, we had a house party with music on the stereo and a home made cake. Times change and move on, but the expense for parents now to keep up with the latest party trend must be huge

I do think this is an example of women sometimes making extra work for themselves. One of the dads in my son’s class organised a party recently. It comprised a bunch of kids running around playing football and they all had sandwiches afterwards. Very very simple and the children had a brilliant time.

It's great that some people can afford to have whole class parties and are willing to put the effort in because at least it means that all kids get some birthday party invites.