Not experienced this with my own, but if it helps at all- I was an extremely anxious child. I cried most days. Cried most mornings, didn’t want I go to school as missed my mam so much and felt out of sorts there, didn’t like parties or clubs- just wanted to go home. Never had sleepovers as would cry and want to go home. I didn’t achieve in school and felt confused and in the outs. I was really sensitive to group dynamics and found it hard to trust friends as was worried they would be mean to me or that I would be laughed at. I had low self esteem.
Didn’t really like high school. Had a few rough teenaged years.
I am a happy , balanced and confident adult. I’m in a professional job I love and have many friends and loving , happy family relationships. I am still very sensitive and empathetic, I cry easily and care deeply.
I’ve talked to my mam about my experiences as a child and she said that had she felt able, she would have homeschooled me. She wishes she had kept me at home until much later , as I wasn’t truly ready for school until around 8. However, that may also have caused issues.
as an adult I understand myself more- I am ND , including ADHD and dyslexia. None of this was picked up (80’s born) until my 30’s and when I started to study at uni.
when I understood myself more and got appropriate support i achieved a 1st in my chosen degree - I had always thought I was stupid but I’m not. I’m also a lesbian and grew up in a homophobic small village - i understand this had an impact that I wasn’t aware of until much later, I just knew I felt different.
Not saying any of this is relevant to your child, but food for thought that for many reasons some kids are super anxious and can struggle , but it doesn’t mean forever.
on reflection, what helped me thrive as an anxious child was lots of loving support at home, so I always felt really safe and nurtured , as this helped fill my cup for when I was out in the world and gave me a safe base. My mam was amazing, she made sure I had excellent sleep hygiene (baths and lavender oil, soothing music etc) and very clear routines at home.she researched homeopathic remedies and herbal teas that may hell (who knows if they did, but it made me feel understood and heard). She never made me feel silly for my anxiety , listened to my worries, would walk me everywhere and not force me into hard situations (though lots of encouragement- I had to ‘try’ a hobby at least 3 times before giving it up etc. Even though other mams at the school gates told her to toughen me up, she didn’t shame me for being less robust than my peers. She allowed me to be sensitive and reflected to me that my sensitivity was also a strength (I was a compassionate child and stood up for/ included unpopular kids etc). Importantly, she didn’t make it a massive issue of it or allow it to be a defining feature of my personality. I grew up and developed more resilience as I grew. But I always knew I was ok, and wasn’t ashamed of being myself even if I struggled more than others.
Your child is very lucky to have you , as you are clearly trying hard to work out what they need and you know them well. You understand what they find hard and you want to help them thrive.
Keep nurturing your sensitive child and seeing them for all their strengths and struggles . they will thank you for it xxx