DS hates the idea of school

[DonkeyKong01]

DS 9 is finally asleep after an hour long meltdown. He's so disregulated at the idea of school - he hates 'all of it' and it is 'boring'
He has loved school until this year and now bedtime and morning routine is exhausting and challenging for us all.

I suspect we have undiagnosed ADHD (I first raised with school in Y1) but DS masks like a trooper. CYPMH nurse said she suspected ASD - we got told last week he doesn't meet criteria, although they identified he does have challenges, have we considered ADHD? (YES but we were told no😭) so now we are back at square one!

We are exhausted and at a loss how to best support him... we don't have the let up for the reset we need and DS 6 needs to be factored in to decisions... advice offerings welcome. We can't carry on as we are 🥺

Can you afford to see someone privately?

How much have you talked to school about it?
I am a year 2 teacher and have tried varied adaptations for children who find it tricky coming into school.
Hopefully your teacher can help and the senco should support you with this.

I'm hoping we can - looking into it more this week and see if we can manage it financially. I'm feeling frustrated with myself for not pushing for dual assessment when the CYPMH nurse said only ASD referral via RTC

Quite a lot - school repeatedly said 'he's fine when he is here' and until this September have been quite dismissive and unsupportive. He is academic and masks throughout the day so they don't see the dysregulation and heartbreaking meltdowns that happen at home.

They have a new SENDCo in place since September, who is more understanding and open so is actually listening and hearing what we say...

I am also a primary teacher with SEND experience and my NASENCO! But DSs school have managed to successfully make me feel like a fussy mother - as if I'm seeking unnecessary diagnosis and support... a fresh perspective and any suggestions you have for adaptations are welcome, something needs to change! He is not ok, and it is heartbreaking. It's hard to step back in Mum mode sometimes

Keep pushing @DonkeyKong01. After years of being ignored by the school we eventually went through the GP.

One thing you could do is this simple progress checker. If it says he needs some support you can ask for a referral for a hearing test and some SaLT.

The SaLT can refer you onto the Pathway although it’s not always guaranteed. Both of mine have had SaLT avd both have been diagnosed with ADHD and it was just never mentioned by the SaLT, so no referral from them.

Caudwell Children will assess for ASD and I think they currently might be doing assessments for £500 although they don’t assess for other co-morbid conditions like ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia or ARFID.

Thank you - that's really useful information. I'll keep on with school and see if we can get any more access to support/adjustments.