what chores does your 7/8 year old do?

[cheesesarnie]

i watched child of our time on bbc4 lastnight and the thing after.they were talking about chores.my 8 year old dd loves to help,so much so i have to stop her from doing things!but ds-aged 7 is completly different.
dd does-daily-
feed rabbit
empty dishwasher and put away
makes her bed(most days)
puts her clothes away
tidies her room

ds does-
room if i moan and moan(but he does share with ds2 so im a bit relaxed about him doing it!)
put his clothes away-again i must go on and on and on!

Can I adopt your dd please ?

DD is 8 and puts her own clean clothes away (when nagged) and keeps her room tidy (again, when nagged). She likes to fanny around with a duster on occasion, but I wouldn't say she likes to help

Ds is 9 with Asperger's, he does jobs as a motivation to earn pocket money and encourage positive behaviour.

He makes his bed every morning, puts out the bin bag, clears the table after he's eaten. Tidies his room once a week, polishes own shoes twice a week, puts his dirty laundry in the basket and washes his own towels and cossie after swimming. There are other ad hoc jobs I ask him to do, like get me something from upstairs, set the table etc.

He also gets to do 'fun' jobs for me, like virus check the computer.

We've always encouraged him to see household chores as an essential part of being a family - there's no magic laundry fairy and someone has to do it, so we share jobs as much as possible for the comfort of the whole family. He has to learn independence somehow and having everything done for him won't help in the longrun.

Tidies his room and helps his sister to tidy the play room. (when asked with little moaning)

Puts his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and puts away clean clothes, but needs help in knowing where to put stuff

Lays the table for supper and will scrape plates etc at the end of supper.

Is enthusiastic at helping with the garden

Difficult subject in my house as big sister has chronic pain and struggles to cope with a full day at school, let alone doing something after school. Ds (8) has just been diagnosed with same disorder, and though I would like him to do regular chores I don't want it to develop into a competition between them as to who is most disabled.

So rather than assigning regular chores, I tend to ask whoever looks fit and well at the time. They both do a bit of tidying up (though dd only when she is well enough), they sometimes help with meals, ds was very helpful when we cleaned out the loft.

And ds makes himself useful in unconventional ways, by big-sister-sitting when I go to the shops or to meetings, as I don't like leaving her alone in the house. He also has to do more things for himself- such as fix breakfast- because of her disability.

But the unpredictability of dd's condition makes it difficult to have anything regular pattern; we muddle through each day as it comes.

Oh, and dd proof-reads my work for me.

I even resorted to bribery to get ds to keep room tidy. But even money cannot provide enough incentive for him to care...

They are supposed to clean the bathroom once a week, empty wastepaper baskets, feed the cat and empty laundry basket. But the cat feeding is the only task every carried out regularly and effectively.

Oh, and ds gets his own breakfast as well

None and I don't see any need for children to have regualar chores either.

well my reasoning is I am the only female and I a) refuse to run around after them all
b) it's one thing for a 7-yr-old to play play play but I don't want them, aged 14+ to expect everything to be done for them. Some responsibility is good for children
c) I have lived with a bloke who never had to lift a finger in his life and it was a year of utter bullshit, excuses and wankery

agree with you 100% FMF.

I'm their mother, not their skivvy.

I don't want to be picking up after teenagers. Just as well for them to start small

oh MB, I said that exact line not 30 minutes ago (except slave, not skivvy)
sigh.

I have made excuses in the past for ds1, because the dyslexia does make it hard for him to keep on top of his room - organisational skills are non-existant - but you really do need to look to the future with children. Tis all part of the work ethic IMO.

"None and I don't see any need for children to have regualar chores either."

oh -kayyyy

at what point do you intend teaching them how to look after a house and care for their belongings then?

when they leave home? or are you not going to bother at all, and wait for their spouses to do it?

FMF, ditto re organisation skills with ds, he is dyspraxic, and it doen't come easy to him, but with some guidance he does very well and is, in general, a helpful wee soul!

FMF, ditto re organisation skills with ds, he is dyspraxic, and it doen't come easy to him, but with some guidance he does very well and is, in general, a helpful wee soul!

Mine help with all sorts. 8yo:
-makes her bed
-puts clothes in laundry
-lays table for dinner
-tidies her room (after mucho nagging)

And she and her 10yo sister will do any chores I ask them to help with, including hoovering, supervising 22mo for short periods, cleaning the bathroom

They need to know how to do this stuff, and more importantly they need to understand that the chores don't do themselves

I agree that children should help around the house and my aim is that when I do ask them to do something they will do it with good grace, because it needs to be done and without expecting to be paid for it or given a gold star.

But I don't think anyone needs to be taught / trained to make their bed, lay the table, do laundry, they will have to do these things as adults (or teenagers as I am sure I won't be there all the time). So they'll do it, becuase it will need to be done.

so what message does it give them, to let them leave it for someone else, though they are easily physically capable of doing it themselves?

and I have known PLENTY of teenagers and adults who were not apparently capable of doing their laundry, making beds or setting tables because no-one had previously required them to do it, or shown them how to do it

DS's chores are to feed the cat and keep her water clean and fresh; also to keep her area clean and let me know if her litter tray needs seeing to.
He has the set the table and get the drinks for himself and DD.
He has to keep his room tidy (but needs nagging for that) and put his washing in the laundry. I have started to refuse to wash his clothes if they aren't in the laundry pile and that really hit home when he didn't have a shirt for school one day and had to wear a non uniform t-shirt.

hellish, may i ask how old your children are?

My 7 yr old DD and 3 yr old DS do the same jobs.

Before dinner they lay the table, DD does cutlery, DS does mats.
After dinner they clear the table, DD plates, DS mats.
They do the washing, DD throws down a dark/light or mixed load and DS puts it in the machine, I put it on.
They sort the clean washing into piles and put their own away.
DD has been asking to do the washing up lately and feed the cat but she makes such a mess doing it I normally don't let her.
They both tidy their own rooms.

Also what MB/FMF said about organisational skills, we think DD may possibly be dyspraxic too, and what helps her is a list.
She has a list of what to do in her room to check it's tidy. She goes down the list, does each bit and manages to keep on top of it that way. If I just said to her 'tidy your room' she wouldn't be able to do it.

oh I didn't answer the OP, just started arguing

my ds is 5 though so I don't know if it is relevant to you, but

every day: he tidies his bedroom, helps tidy toys etc in living room, makes his bed and my bed in the morning, puts his laundry in the washing basket, helps clear dinner table after meals, and sets table before meals

sometimes he helps with other things eg gardening, sweeping up

he also pulls the basket trolley and puts the things on the conveyor belt when we are shopping