Encouraging 6.5yo to swim

[Coyote72]

Advice on what worked for you here....

My DS 6.5 has only just started swim lessons, he's this late partly due to time restraints and partly because he was very uncomfortable in water and I did a fair bit of leisure swimming to get him more ready and he enjoys water a lot now.

However he is a HARD NO on having his face in the water and has zero interest in putting his face in, so is unlikely to progress. My partner is equally HARD NO on goggles. I could over rule this but my DS is most concerned about his nose so I've not needed to yet.

DS is the sort of kid who does things on his terms, seeing other kids doing things or thinking he's missing out is zero motivation to him.

Any tips on what worked for your older kids who didn't want to swim?

Time and patience. You can't force this. Back off and let the teacher work with him.

The harder you push the more he'll resist.

Sometimes we just have to accept they have autonomy!

Get him a nose clip and a pair of goggles. It is better for your son to have these as aids to feeling more confident than for him not to progress.

Do you mean your partner is insisting your child doesn't need goggles? Overrule that one! Grown-ups all choose to swim in goggles, olympic swimmers wear goggles. Because it stops your eyes stinging!!!

Thanks, yeah it feels like a bloody hill he's dying on at this point.

Why is your partner so adamant about the goggles??

I think you just need to give it time. Your DS may just need to build confidence putting his face in the water. Agree with PP though, the googles and nose clip will help a lot

Give him the goggles. Either make it your hill to die on (and be willing to die harder than your DH) or tell him the swim teacher has told you he needs to give goggles a go. If you think he'll question the teacher directly about it, speak to the teacher first who is very likely to agree that goggles are better than never putting their face in and progressing. Even the swim schools that have a general rule of no goggles initially will be flexible if necessary IME.

I'm a coach competitive swimming and often encounter this battle between parents over nose clips. Child continually refuses to tumble turn due to water going up their nose, I lend them one to try and it solves the problem: happy child who has gone from stubbornly refusing to ever do it, to making an attempt every time. One parent will refuse to let them have it because "we never needed to use them in my day" despite seeing the difference whilst the other, regardless of their own preference, understands it's better to use one and develop the skill than not engage and progress at all. I always tell the swimmer/parent that I'm happy to be The Bad Guy that has insisted they must be supplied with one.

I have sat through a bazillion swimming lessons at different levels and no children here swim without goggles. All classes have spare available if the children co.e without, and the teachers also put them on if they are demonstrating. Madness to insist without I think.

If a pair of goggles gets your little one swimming, it's brilliant. One day, it could save their life, so whatever it takes to crack it, go with it. At the end of the day, our job as parents is to give them the skills for life to keep them safe as teenagers and adults, and that's what you are trying to do. Tell your other half to focus on that, not the goggles.

My younger DC refused to swim. Liked messing about in water but wouldn't swim. Then, on holiday, aged 8, DC got in the pool and swam across. They do it when they're ready.

DD1 came to swimming and swimming lessons relatively late, although not as late as your DS.
My best bribe was a packet of crisps after a successful lesson. DD loved them and also loved watching the other kids in swimming lessons whilst she munched. I can't remember when goggles came into it but I bought them without hesitation.
Why does your DH not allow goggles?

The argument is that if he falls in water then he won't be wearing goggles. But I also think there is a bit of 'in my day we didn't need them' going on.
I have actually given my son goggles when we did leisure swimming and he didn't like them and they spent the time around my wrist. But I am going to try another style and just put them on him I think

Does he really need to get his face in? I'm a good swimmer, not mightily strong but good at it. Swim twice a week, an hour each time. Swim about 1/2 a mile, with some short pauses. I don't like getting my face in! In fact, I often swim on my back so that I don't get my face in. I don't really see why swimming teachers are so obsessed with getting the child to get their face in. I mean obviously if they can't put their face in without becoming seriously hysterical and loosing the plot, then that's a problem, because if they fell in water and their face went under they'd drown, but if they just don't like to do it voluntarily I really don't see the problem.

But he needs to learn to swim, goggles will probably massively help him swim then if he does fall into water he can actually swim to safety. Back in my day we didn't have seat belts in the back of cars never mind child seats.

@Justbecauseyoucandoesntmeanyoushould not all children do this, my experience is a lot of swim runs with primary school and all the school year 5 and 6 swim galas. It is part of the national curriculum to swim 10m but despite the school lessons for 2 years there are some very reluctant swimmers.

I say give him what he needs to feel confident in the water, goggles and nose clip if he wants.

The argument is that if he falls in water then he won't be wearing goggles. But I also think there is a bit of 'in my day we didn't need them' going on.

Fascinated to know how old your partner is, as, if he has a 6yr old, the odds are he is a LOT younger than me (more likely to be similar age to my dc) and both they (my dc) and I (now retired) all had goggles when learning to swim as dc.

Let the swimming teacher tackle this, that's their job.

I'd also listen to their guidance on whether goggles are needed. At my DC's swim school goggles are compulsory and they have spare ones for anyone who doesn't bring their own.

I would trust the process. It's your (and DP's) job to pay for the swimming lessons and deliver your child to the pool with all required equipment. It's DS' job to try his best to follow the instructions from his teacher. It's the swimming teacher's job to teach him to swim. Let each person focus on their role.

The counter augment is that if he doesn’t have goggles now, he won’t ever learn to swim so he will drown when he falls in without them. However, if he knows how to swim then that survival instinct will kick in and he will swim to safety regardless of not having goggles.

What a bizarre argument for not having goggles! If he falls in water out and about he will also have have things from a list of full clothing, a coat, a bag, a scooter, a dog on a lead etc. Should he take all those into the pool with him? Swimming pools are artificial environments for good reason.

Plus my kids have been to multiple swim schools and swimming with school and goggles for lessons have always been needed.

You can’t do “proper” breast stroke, crawl or butterfly without getting your face in the water.

OP, goggles are mandatory in DS’s swim lessons anyway (from level 2, if memory serves). Get him some goggles.

I love this argument. Thanks!

Ask your partner if he also expects your DS to learn to swim wearing all his clothes - because if he fell in the water he’d be wearing them