Stepmum kicked 10 year old out

[Alymummy81]

Posting on behalf of my friend. Trying to keep a long story short but with all the facts so sorry if a long read.
My friends partner left her 4 years ago for the woman hes with now. They have a 10 yr old daughter together, she has 2 children. Friends daughter has really struggled but goes there 2 nights a week, theyre respectful and nice but does not get on with stepmum.
For 4 years there's been issues with dad and stepmum choosing her children over dads and caring more about his new family more than his child.
She gets the blame for everything and is always shouted at and gets called names. Stepmum has called her rude and arrogant.
She regularly comes home with missing toys never to be seen again and insists her children have them. Bio mum knows their missing but cant say if stepmums kids are playing with them.
When mum talks to dad about issues that happen there she is always dismissed and is told it never happened and daughter is lying. Mum doesn't see this side of her at home as shes a loving, kind and happy girl. Dad says that shes a liar and needs to be taught a lesson as shes always wrong and cant admit that shes wrong about things.
This weekend, another argument happened at dads house over the missing toys, their daughter is adamant that they've seen her kids playing with them and hiding them when she walks in.
At home one of her toys she actually brought back was broken, she said her child did it, I asked dad and he dismissed it and called her a liar. Stepmum has now kicked her out, handed all belongings there back and threw the bed away. Calling her an arrogant liar. Dad says she overreacting but understands as her kids always get the blame. Today she admitted to breaking the toy herself wanting to get her own back and them in trouble as she is blamed for everything in that house. Obviously explained that it was wrong and mum is livid and has punished her. she has apologised. Stepmum has text mum abuse and says shes not allowed near her house again. Dad wants her in therapy and says that everything she says is a lie. Daughter is saying this is the only time she has lied. Mum thinks shes just crying out for attention as there's never 1:1 time with dad

Is stepmum within her rights to kick a child out?

How do you mean?

It sounds like you’re the mum, not mums friend.

You are clearly laying all the blame with the SM and Dad, but if this is how she hears SM and Dad being talked about by you, no wonder she thinks she can get away with telling lies about how awful SM and her kids are!

So the serial liar has raised a liar.

He’ll be out hot on the heels of his daughter, if the SM has any sense.

These are not her problems to solve, not sure why you keep mentioning the stepmum.

Agree with pp that your OP reads in the second half as if it’s you who is the parent, not your friend. Can’t see why a friend would be so invested either

The SM has the absolute right to ban anyone she wants from her home.

However, that doesn’t mean custody has to change.

Mum should write to Dad and say something along the lines of “I understand you won’t be seeing DD at SM’s house going forward, I’m presuming you don’t want to reduce your time with DD so are you going to hire a hotel/airbnb/stay at your mum’s for those nights?”

The DD has a right to see her dad and she’ll probably prefer it to be away from the other DC, so this could work out for the best.

I would move forward on the presumption that Dad will now see his DD in a different location and it’s up to him to arrange where.

I mean the whole situation sounds like it isn’t working
the 10 yo is breaking toys blaming her stepmums kids, she doesn’t want to go and Stepmum doesn’t want her there
I just wouldn’t send her and I’d say to the dad he can see her away from this chaos either at the mums house or he can take her out for the day or pick her up from school one night and take her for tea but I can’t see how this arrangement is beneficial to anyone really.

Not personally feeling much sympathy for stepmum, who has not only stolen someone else's partner, but is now abusive towards a child. She simply sounds like a horrible person. Dad isn't great either.

Well you could put it that the stepmum knows her children are very unhappy and having her partner’s DD over is causing chaos so she’s told him he needs to arrange contact elsewhere. “Your friend” would be wise to remember that her ex is the problem, not his partner, and her focus should be on her child’s wellbeing which should improve no longer being forced to spend time with the stepmum and kids who don’t like or trust her. The dynamic between these children who have been smooshed together is dysfunctional and they are all miserable so it’s good it’s been stopped, for everyone’s sake.

The two parents of this unhappy girl should sensibly sort alternative contact arrangements, counselling if appropriate, and your friend needs to love her child more than she hates her ex.

Good news for OP and the mum that her child won’t have to see the stepmum anymore then.

Well the dad doesn’t have much say as he’s living under her roof, he perhaps should get his own place for firstly his own financial stability, but second have quality time with his child