8 year old niece caught stealing

[NeverSayNeverEver]

My brother raises my niece on his own. He's a good dad but also emotionally immature and stunted in many ways- he's too honest with her about his own struggles and doesn't handle things with tact or maturity- if he finds out he'll just yell at her. I'm close to my niece and am looking after her for a few days tomorrow- my mum said when she picked her up yesterday her teacher said she'd stolen a toy from another kid- the kid was understandably very upset and they searched everywhere eventually finding the toy my niece's bag- and then a few weeks ago my mum also noticed some money missing from a gift bag she'd been making up for a friend. my niece had asked her who the gift bag for and later the money was gone and my mum found 10 out of the 15 pounds left where my niece had been playing in another room. I want to chat to my niece about it (if I tell my brother i'm not sure he'll handle it well) what should I say?

If you think this is about her emotional well-being then start with that. Ask her how she's feeling, tell her it's ok to talk about things and try to get her to open up. Eventually you might mention the stealing but you'll get further if you treat it as a symptom or something she does because she's unhappy. If you get her to talk more generally you might be able to see a way forward.

thank you this is really helpful

it is a cry for attention I would think so yes I would talk gently to her to find put if she is feeling sad or any emotions really and just love her. Give her space to talk maybe when you are doing something else like driving or a craft activity.

I'd agree with @ohnonotthisargumentagain , but I'd also try to get to the bottom of why she's secretly taking money and toys. My DC would just ask me for things, and sometimes it's a yes, and sometimes a no, and sometimes it's a "let's save up your pocket-money" or "let's add it to your Christmas list". What happens if she asks your brother for things?