Newborn Trenches

[Peep23]

Looking for nothing more than a hand hold really!

My second baby arrived a month ago now, and he is the cutest thing but such a different baby to my first and so much harder! After the first two weeks where he was happily sleeping in his cot we’ve been hit by horrible reflux, trapped painful gas/colic and he is so unsettled after every feed. We’re getting lots of support - he has a mild tongue tie but not affecting weight gain or latch so getting conflicting advice on whether to get it cut. We’ve also seen a cranial osteopath and have been prescribed gaviscon which so far is having little effect (he’s EBF so a challenge to get it in him!), and have an appointment with a lactation consultant this week.

He will only sleep while on me and while the baby cuddles are lovely the nights are long!

I know this too shall pass, as it always does with babies!, but I feel bad for wishing away this time and not enjoying him in the way I should as I spend most of my time either trying to feed effectively or calm him down. Also missing spending quality time with my lovely 2.5 year old!

If you’ve got this far thanks for reading, just needed to get it out!

This will indeed pass! The reality is that when you have 2, the baby has needs that don't always just slip in with the life you already have. You're still in very early days of getting into the new routine but the fact that you're worrying about this is proof you're doing the right thing. I'll let other newer parents come in and give you proper advice but from one mum to another, you've got this!

Our 2nd would only sleep on me too and it was exhausting. I decided I couldn't do it anymore and went through a few nights of hell coaxing him to sleep in his Next To Me trying for longer stretches each night until he did a full night (with wakes for feeds).

Spending quality time with your 1st born is really hard but it does get easier. At the moment, especially as you are EBF, it is you and the newborn a lot of the time. This will change and you will get snippets of your day back that you can spend with your older child. I fed the baby in my toddlers room and let her play around him which helped sometimes.

You are in the thick of it now, this is the worst of it. It will get better, you will get yourself back and you will get to spend quality time with your other child. You can do this.