Allergy parents - would this bother you?

[ChickalettasGiblets]

Trying to gauge if I’m being unreasonable here, please give me your impartial opinions!

Yesterday, we took our DDs to a small soft play area for under 5s which is based within a health club. You are allowed to purchase and consume food from the cafe at tables in the soft play area. One item which is prevalent on the menu is peanut butter, fine as I appreciate it can be a nutritious food. But yesterday, I overheard a mother telling her toddler she was going to the cafe to order him a peanut butter bagel and she had him sit and eat it at the table before he went back off to play.

One of my DDs has a peanut allergy and I suddenly found myself feeling incredibly stressed at the idea of a contact reaction from children having eaten peanuts and then going back to play. I asked DH if he thinks IABU to write an email about it to the health club and their general allergy policy, but he thinks I am overreacting.

Full disclaimer, I know I cannot police other people’s eating and behaviour etc and I go fully prepared to places in the event my DD might encounter things she is allergic to. Thankfully her allergy is fairly mild in terms of reaction, but I suppose I am a bit surprised they aren’t more careful!

My daughter has 20 food allergies. In the early days soft plays were a nightmare and we only went 2 or 3 times before the age of 4. We found one soft play that we felt safe in and they know me by face and voice on the phone as we have now been so frequently. 8 of the my daughters class of 30 have some dietary restrictions so they have become the soft play of choice for class parties!

For me it less about the peanut and more about any food contamination. It really should be enforced that no food is consumed outside of the seating area and clean hands in the soft play, the same in parks and other places where children congregate!

Not an allergy parent but this would annoy me. When my kids go to camp they cannot take anything nut based- including Nutella. Ok a soft play cannot guarantee what people bring in but I wouldn’t be selling peanut butter.

But milk is the number one cause of allergy deaths in children so that would be irrational.

The banning of nuts leads to ignorance and complacency around other allergens.

Can they sell eggs, dairy, gluten, fish, soya?
Have ballons around?

I completely understand where you are coming from as my son is anaphylactic to dairy but as we have had to learn the only one people seem to take seriously is nuts. If I avoided places where cross contamination would occur he’d never leave the house. Unfortunately you just have to manage it as best you can

From my understanding it’s the oil of nuts and being on people’s hands that make it more risky than dairy.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers but nuts aren’t more risky for children.

the only difference is kids typically outgrow dairy whereas nuts affect all ages.

www.baptisthealth.com/blog/baptist-health/milk-has-overtaken-nuts-as-the-most-severe-food-allergy

I think the best policy would be to maybe ask for there to be visible signs to promote good hygiene.
Things like food and drink only in certain areas and clean hands and face before going back to play.
They shouldn’t stop selling one particular food, because there are many different types of food allergies and you can’t cut them all out.

They aren't more risky though. They are just perceived as more risky due to the public not keeping pace with reality.

The number 1 cause of allergy fatalities in children is from milk. By definition therefore milk is more risky

Several children have died in recent years from exposure to milk at school, so I am not sure why that perception isn't shifting

Op doesn’t say it’s so severe that contact would cause an issue, they say it’s fairly mild.

I would be surprised that a soft play serves peanut butter. Years ago I used to work in a play centre and the cafe wouldn’t serve peanut butter or cakes with nuts in. A lot of schools also don’t allow peanut butter. I wouldn’t think you’d be unreasonable to point it out the play centre manager

It’s not the severity of the allergy but the increased likelihood of contact

Is it irresponsible to serve milk also?

No. 2% of children have a severe nut allergy. It's irresponsible to serve nuts.

I think you should email them. I'm the allergic one, not dd (afaik) but still, I wouldnt want the risk of peanut butter residue being left on the soft play equipment

Sod all the other allergies eh!

Banning the sale of peanuts just reduces the presence of one allergen (but doesn't completely make it safe due to people bringing food in, and indeed could create false security)

Promoting good hygiene and cleaning will benefit all allergy sufferers (plus reduce transmission of other illnesses).

Milk allergy is just as common as peanut allergy.

You're not being that unreasonable. My DD has allergies to egg, dairy and sesame. The egg and dairy allergies are also contact allergies and she can break out in a rash and intense hives if touched by someone who had been eating, for example, cheese sandwich.

We bring things to clean any high chair and surfaces she uses in public places that serve food.

Given how many kids are allergic to peanuts, it does seem an odd thing to have so much of on the menu!

Yes you’re wrong on this! My daughter has anaphylaxis to dairy and can’t go into coffee shops etc as the milk frothing in the air causes her to react. In fact her specialist told us that milk particles in the air are more prevalent and dangerous than nuts. My sister has a life threatening peanut allergy and it’s much easier to manage than a life threatening milk allergy.

my daughter is now 16 and it’s more difficult than ever to manage as her friends all go out and she can’t go.

In answer to the OP - people are allergic to all sorts of things and you can’t ban everything. If your child walks around with a cheese sandwich or a yogurt, that could have killed mine when she was a toddler and it was my risk to manage.

And 2.5-3% of children are allergic to milk

Lots of children with milk allergy react to skin contact.

Karanbir Cheema died when a cheese slice was thrown at him at school

My daughter reacted to milk spat at her by her (baby) step sister and nearly refused to go back to her dad's house as he didn't take it seriously

My DD has recently been diagnosed with a severely anaphylactic nut and tree nut allergy and has to carry 2 epi pens at all times.

Whilst I’m worried that she has such a severe allergy and very vigilant about it, I am also very relieved that she has a common and well understood and signposted allergy. Nut and nut products are clearly marked on all food lables, and will even state may contain traces of nuts depending on where it has been produced or packaged, and is also often marked out in bold which makes them easier to identify also.

A friends DC has an anaphylactic allergy to a very common fruit, its flavourings and any derivatives. It is so much harder for her to identify potential allergens, is lesser known and understood.

It is an absolute minefield dealing with allergies, causes a lot of stress and worry especially regarding accidental exposure in places such as soft play of a cafe etc. I have also only recently learned (thanks to mumsnet) that sometimes hand washing alone is not enough to remove allergens from the skin and thus may still cause reactions in others.

As a peanut allergy mum. I would write an email to the soft play manager/head office. Most of these places state you can't bring in your own food 'due to risk of allergies' but then serve said top allergens in their shop. The best way to pull them up on it is to have it in writing. It also means if anything were to happen to someone in the future you can show that you highlighted the issue previously and gave them the opportunity to minimise risk. Appreciate that you can't eliminate risk, my son is contact allergic and has had reactions at baby group before. They were really good and wrote to all parents and when we are in the do a quick reminder to everyone on the day as well.

Then maybe it's best to find a nut free soft play and leave this one for those that eat peanut butter. There are lots of kids that eat fuck all so need the calories.