Allergy parents - would this bother you?

[ChickalettasGiblets]

Trying to gauge if I’m being unreasonable here, please give me your impartial opinions!

Yesterday, we took our DDs to a small soft play area for under 5s which is based within a health club. You are allowed to purchase and consume food from the cafe at tables in the soft play area. One item which is prevalent on the menu is peanut butter, fine as I appreciate it can be a nutritious food. But yesterday, I overheard a mother telling her toddler she was going to the cafe to order him a peanut butter bagel and she had him sit and eat it at the table before he went back off to play.

One of my DDs has a peanut allergy and I suddenly found myself feeling incredibly stressed at the idea of a contact reaction from children having eaten peanuts and then going back to play. I asked DH if he thinks IABU to write an email about it to the health club and their general allergy policy, but he thinks I am overreacting.

Full disclaimer, I know I cannot police other people’s eating and behaviour etc and I go fully prepared to places in the event my DD might encounter things she is allergic to. Thankfully her allergy is fairly mild in terms of reaction, but I suppose I am a bit surprised they aren’t more careful!

Given the potential for sticky hands all over the equipment transmitting it to someone’s child who is at risk of anaphylaxis, it does seem a tad concerning.
I’d possibly email pointing this out, and politely ask if they would consider removing it from the menu, but wouldn’t go further than that.

Remember its possible to have contact anaphylaxis allergies to various fruits, dairy, nuts, seafood, wheat etc not just peanuts. Obviously the peanut allergy is a worry to you, but other parents will ve similarly worried about those.

I think I would just not go there in the future if your child’s allergy is so severe that contact with it would cause an issue

Unfortunately the responsibility would be with the parents/ child that has the allergy.

I have a latex allergy which dd inherited. It’s very stressful (balloons being the biggest issue when dc were little). You have to adapt and assume allergens are present at all times. People seem to only care about peanuts. Dd also allergic to coconut, has been hospitalised. It’s stressful.

Thanks for the head wobble all, yes I appreciate that allergies come in all forms but I think I was surprised they had peanut butter as a menu item as I think most places are quite cautious about serving it. In a lot of places that are child friendly they are generally “nut free” (though obviously not totally free as the little bastards get in just about everything 😅). She also has an allergy to almonds, so we avoid tree nuts too.

My oldest nor DH and I have no allergies, so it’s been a bit of an eye opener to the sort of things allergy sufferers have to think about!

I think the best solution -.rather than banning foods- would be some notices asking parents to ensure their children are cleaned down before entering the play area.

My children were both severely allergic to dairy and I lost count of the times I had to remove them from a play area or park because some other child was roaming around with huge sticky patches of yoghurt /ice cream or even in some cases actually eating the ice cream

I'm thinking a sign along these lines

Gosh a serious dairy allergy must be very hard to deal with in those situations, especially as dairy is a very common food item that I think a lot of people don’t appreciate may cause very serious problems for some people.

It's very irresponsible of the venue to serve peanut butter in a soft play facility. I would write to the manager.

Agree, there is so much ignorance . The highest cause of allergy fatalities in children is now cows milk protein allergy but most people still act like it's benign

My son was quite allergic to milk, never anaphylactic reactions but he’d get hives all over. Soft play was a nightmare because there were so many crumbs and buttery handprints from toasted teacakes. Sometimes we chose not to risk it, sometimes I went armed with piriton.

Peanut butter is something I would imagine most kid places didn’t serve given most schools are nut free.

It would bother me. I have an allergy child too and we couldn't access playgroup due to free buffet of snacks available. Kids on equipment with food etc. obviously everyone else thought it wonderful. In my experience they did nothing and it was a me problem. You can highlight it to them, but in my experience unless people are impacted themselves directly, they are quite nasty and really don't care!

I suspect the Cafe just won't care, and you need to find a soft play venue with a menu suited to your child's needs.

FWIW, I know a family that would have loved the menu that is so unsettling for you, because peanut butter was one of a handful of foods their child would eat. Different strokes for different folks.

I dunno. I think a general policy of no food in the soft play is all you can hope for.

My DD is allergic to eggs and peanuts, and actually she has more severe reactions to eggs.

you can imagine if we wrote to a cafe asking them to not serve eggs, so sadly I think here it’s on you to do a risk assessment.

Similarly many kids are allergic to dairy, so nuts don’t really deserve any ‘special’ treatment.

Yes, I"d much rather there was a rise in awareness of the need to properly clean children after they have eaten food.

My son is very allergic to dairy and eggs. Peanut butter is a staple. I completely sympathise but equally, there are so many allergies, it's down to us as parents to manage it. I never go anywhere without antibac wet wipes and I wipe everything before I sit him down anywhere. But that's the extent of what I can do tbh.

Would you say that about any other health condition or disability? Just don't go?

I'm fortunate in that nobody in my family has allergies, so have never really had to consider this issue.

There is certainly no harm in writing to the cafe and asking them to consider it.

It seems unlikely they will take peanut butter off the menu, as it's popular with kids and relatively cheap for them to purchase in bulk I imagine, so probably a good earner.

But maybe they would be happy to put up table signs asking parents to be mindful of hygiene after their DC eat foods that are common allergens?

They might be willing to have wipes behind the counter too that parents can request if needed.

It would be a good will gesture and you could leave some positive reviews of them on SM if they do as you request.

Good luck!

I'm willing to be told I am utterly wrong on this, but my understanding was that nuts are considered a more high profile/high risk allergy because of those sufferers who are susceptible to even slightly particles of nuts in the air. (Sorry if my terminology is wrong). Whereas I am not aware that that level of sensitivity is as common in other allergies. Which is not to say that the others aren't as dangerous in other ways, or any more fun for the sufferers, of course.

But happy to be corrected on this. As someone who works with kids, I would genuinely welcome a better understanding of the challenges of all allergies.

Agree I think that's a really unpleasant attitude when other parents (and organisations) could significantly reduce the risk just by practising basic hygiene

Both my kids have quite bad allergies (which serves me right because pre kids i thought the majority of allergy parents were being precious dicks) 🤦‍♀️
Unfortunately the world is the world and while some people are considerate in the main it wont bend to your kids. 🤷🏻‍♀️

We do little / no softplay as a. They are fucking filthy 9 times in 10 and if your child does get an allergic reaction they'll pick up a cold or cough.

DL arent going to change their policy it isnt practical or easily / realistically enforceable.
I wouldnt waste my breath complaining.

If you are london area and want an allergy specialist i HIGHLY recommend Dr Adam Fox and team. I have had amazing progress with them.

I totally get you. I would write to management and see what they say. If they are not willing to change their policy on nuts then I'd reconsider going there in future. I would also write a review on their page to warn other parents of children with nut allergies. Not in a spiteful way, but as an allergy parent myself, i would like to know in advance. It is possible to run a viable food business without having to include nuts on the menu.

That said, nuts are bloody everywhere. The amount of nut shells I've seen in playgrounds. I bet children eat nuts and go all over the playground equipment. Where is it going to end? My child has allergies too but I cannot stop her from going to the playground. That won't be fair by her. But i know there'll be nut trances all over the playground equipment. I just make sure she understands that she can't put her hands in her mouth or touch her body without washing her hands with soap. Now shes older, it's much easier. Always keep epipens with me and hope for the best. Its tough as an allergy mum- big hugs to you OP 🤗

Studies now show that nuts aren’t really likely to be airborne.

But something like heating milk for a latte or cooking fish could be for some with dairy or fish allergies.

I believe dairy now causes more deaths in kids than nuts do.

https://www.allergyuk.org/news/peanuts-and-air-travel/

It's a wellknown allergy. Most people know it. Tbh I think it's the reason.
I don't react to peunuts but dairy, eggs and gluten. Always careful being out.