Does anyone else hate weekends with their children???

[LMcmahon]

I hate weekends. Endless "im bored", constantly trying to come up with ideas to entertain them which usually ends up in tears.
Cannot ever just stay home because of the constant whining, im boreds and complaining, so we have to go out all day every day at the weekends, no matter the weather, we have to be out, in the rain, snow, whatever. Cannot just spend a day at home, enjoying time together in our home.
Its awful.
Is it just me? Is it just our family that cannot ever just enjoy relaxing together at the weekends?!
Its 9.30 in the morning and i am done. What can i do to get them to just enjoy life without everything being so difficult every minute of every day?!
They are 5 and 7

That's what TV and PSOne was for back in my day. No chance I would be traipsing about in the rain at the weekend after a week of work. Days out were restricted to weekends with reasonable weather.

(TV didn't destroy DS brain btw, he's doing pretty well 30 years later).

I used to feel like this. I have one child and honestly used to absolutely dread empty weekends but now she's 7 I'm finding it a lot easier. We've stayed at home the past few Sundays and it's been lovely. Saturdays she has activities which wipes it out in the term time so that helps me feel better about relaxed Sundays .

One issue we have is DD has in the past behaved entirely reliant on me for entertainment and to play with her, but she doesn't do this to DH. So I go out and do a shop or go to the gym and she stays home with DH and actually entertains herself, he lies on the sofa watching football so win win all round

Mine are 10 and 11 and the youngest is still very hard work. We’ve had a shit weekend and he was up at 5 something with the clocks going back. I couldn’t believe it when it was still only 7am. Total joke!

Today, I played football with him for an hour and a half, we walked a friend’s dog for 2 hours, visited relatives and there’s still so many hours left to fill. It’s exhausting as he just cannot entertain himself. He’s been diagnosed with ADHD, so I know that plays a part.

I feel you, OP.

Why is everyone entertaining their kids? Are their toys not suitable/accessible? I have 3 - they largely get on with life without moaning.
Ghve them jobs to do if they moan they’re bored 😂

I remember this phase. It's grim at times and utterly exhausting. Hugs OP

It's counter intuitive but you need to entertain them less not more. By constantly solving their boredom for them you're not allowing them to develop the skill of self entertainment. Then they complain more, so you take them out more and on and on.

Have a day at home next weekend. Brace yourself for the complaining. Tune it out. They will get there eventually.

@tellmesomethingtrue the only trouble is with my DCs age (5 and 1.5) that would end in roughly 30 seconds with my feral second born either biting my DD or running off with a mouth full of Barbie stilettos that he's threatening to swallow 😭 find this age juggle so hard at the minute so I hear
OPs pain!

You think nurturing has a negative effect? Where did I say jester? There’s a balance. I assumed it was pretty obvious but I’m learning people struggle with that.

I mean you used lol in a sentence. So I shouldn’t be surprised it’s difficult
to grasp.

Oh this is where I shine as a mother.

"Mum I'm bored"

"Good."
"So?"
"That's nice."
"I'm not bored, as you can see" (Usually said when I'm doing chores, working, etc).

Followed by shrugs if they continue to try and make their boredom my problem. I can ignore them very well, provided they're safe. My kids don't complain anymore and are excellent at entertaining themselves without devices (we restrict screentime, except for the TV but they get sick of that very quickly when watching without a parent). 6 and 9. It's great, try it. They've even turned the usual sibling competitiveness into structured activities. The house gets a bit messy but it's a small price for winning.

It does get better/easier when we're not their only source to entertain. Xxx

Oh OP I feel so much less alone reading this. I don’t feel like it all the time but my god this was a hard weekend. It’s the 8 year old that is so tricky. We spent 4 hours on homework today because he is so stubborn. Luckily he then went on a sleepover, the timing was perfect! Yesterday we went out to the library for a free play session (Lego) and the park, otherwise at home would be as you describe. It’s hard because when we are home I have stuff to do. They do get on and make their own games which is nice to see, but it’s still relentless. Calling me when they fall out, or to get stuff.

I wouldn’t say shine but fair enough!

I shine. Feels great.

Yes. For your own self serving needs you shine. Your kids maybe don’t agree so much?

I don’t personally get it either. My mum would definitely choose the housework over me and my sister when we were younger. In our fourties’ now and we ensure we never do the same with our kids. Probably why I commented.

Please, as you were, feeling great!

Mine are slightly younger - 6 and 3. This weekend their adult interactions / entertainment have been me playing Lego with them, me making pancakes with them, 6yo and I looked online how to make different types of paper aeroplanes while 3yo napped, went to the local park to play in the playground and fly the paper aeroplanes, DH and I have each read them a few books, and DH took them to a birthday party.
Other than that they've pottered around by themselves, played various make-believe games together, watched about an hour of cartoons on Saturday morning, done some drawing, made potions in the mud kitchen.
But since they could speak, whenever they've said, "I'm bored" or "I don't know what to do" I've said, "That's ok, everyone feels like that sometimes. But you're so creative / you have such good ideas, I'm sure you'll think of something soon" and tbh they very rarely say it anymore.

Surely at those ages they can grab themselves a bowl of cereal and put the telly on whilst you stay in bed until a better hour? Or am I living in hope 🤣

You are projecting.

How can you be sure your kids will agree with your choices? When your kids are in their 40s, they might reflect and think they had too many activities planned when they just wanted to do fuck all but here comes mum again with her enrichment. Kids can turn out to be ungrateful...

Or, you can stop projecting your childhood experiences onto others? Especially when they aren't even remotely the same.

I agree with this. It’s a really difficult age. Mine are 11 and 9 now and they’re great!! They can entertain themselves and don’t get up too early. They are such good fun and I really enjoy just chatting and spending time with them. I just think when they are that but younger it is so much harder. Getting some planned activities/groups in like football/rugby/tennis may help. It will break the day up and wear them out a bit…Hang in there!!

I can project all I like!

Maybe stop excusing your own self by saying you “shine”. You don’t. Your kids found a way. That’s not you. That’s them.

Just admit you choose housework first, no kid cares about that.

Sounds very familiar…

You're still projecting.

My original post says nothing about what I do with them when they are not bored, but you've read it as they are always bored, and I prioritise housework because I must do little to entertain them otherwise. Interesting.

I even wish I prioritised housework. Come and see what your little poor, neglected, de-prioritised kin did to my office when they got bored and entertained themselves with origami.

Anyway, I still shine and I stand on ten toes to say it. But I'm not a fan of hijacking threads. Bye.

@Soggyspaniel yes they absolutely do normally, so it does get easier in some respects. I happened to be awake myself as I’ve got a lot on my mind, so they were both buzzing around me (eldest rollerskating round the kitchen and the youngest moaning at me 🫠) whilst I was trying to drink my coffee.

All this kids need to be bored stuff harks back to a bygone age where children were independent a lot earlier. They teamed up together with other local children outside of the house and played together.

Whether or not you agree with this sort of parenting it’s gone, it isn’t a thing any more.

Most under 5s won’t play for hours independently. They just can’t, regardless of how much you think you sat entranced with your Mr Frosty machine back in the day all Saturday afternoon while your mum got on with household chores: you didn’t. The reality of that would be endless interruptions as you tried to get on and probably them making a mess as you try to sort it.

Something I have come to realise is the more I enjoy motherhood the more my children will enjoy childhood and being cooped up in the house with bored children isn’t fun for me either. If it makes my life easier to drag everyone out then I will and I’ll continue to do that. We’re all better for fresh air, change of scenery and a bit of exercise. If that makes me a court jester then so be it. I’d rather be a court jester than a miserable as fuck queen in a trashed palace.

“It’s okay to be bored”

That is a sentence well worth saying to your children. Honestly, learning how to deal with it themselves is a really important skill. Offer options (“well you’ve always got your LEGO, jigsaws and reading eg) but ignore whining as it’s a tool to get want they want and you are giving in to it so they’ll then whine more! What happens when you say something like “please don’t whine at me, it’s not very pleasant, I have XYZ to do right now so entertain yourselves and in half an hour we’ll do some baking?”
What you’re doing at the minute sounds exhausting for everyone, you can change that.

Boredom is the source of creativity!

Give them some cardboard boxes with windows and doors cut out, some cushions, some old duvet covers, a tiny table, some pegs, some old pans and dried lentils, some paper plates, and let them get on with it!

I've found what really helps with our weekends is to start with cleaning the house. Anyone who is bored or whingy is roped in to help. My older one (8) can manage the cordless vacuum and I've bought a hand-held one for the 3yo. They both have foot mops/slippers that they use to clean the kitchen floor. We put on music and make it quite energetic.

It might not help with the rest of the weekend, but I find starting with a clean(er) house makes me feel a bit less stressed and dissipates some of the kids' energy so they're happier to sit and play for a bit.