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Feeling like I’m losing the bond I had with my toddler

5 replies

overthewave · 25/10/2025 10:47

My children are nearly five and two (turned two in summer) and if I am honest I always used to find DD(2) much easier. We were so close but now I feel this distance has opened up between us. She’s oppositional and says no to everything, demands things constantly and is horrible to her brother.

I feel that this week she has just whinged shined and screeched her way through the days. That’s not totally accurate but it is a lot of it. She’s clingy and often refuses to walk or go in the pushchair so end up carrying her everywhere. I’ve tried refusing but she just lies on the ground crying. It’s really starting to feel cloying and claustrophobic. Even at groups she won’t leave my side and leans into me so won’t really engage with the activity.

She says ‘I want’ constantly. I want this, I want that. I know she’s not going to have social niceties obviously but it’s so constant it feels really commanding and stressful.

I do think this weeks been exceptionally bad. She’s barely eating at the moment. This morning she has had two mouthfuls of egg and half a mini breadstick. (Obviously the snack and breakfast offered was more substantial than this!) I also think she’s very overtired as she’s refusing to nap.

She goes to nursery twice a week and I got the impression yesterday even her key worker didn’t like her much.

She was so delightful at one point and I do get a lot of this is a normal developmental stage. But I hate it so much!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 25/10/2025 15:11

This behaviour is pretty normal!

Pantheon · 25/10/2025 15:23

I agree, it's normal. It'll just be a phase.

pjani · 25/10/2025 15:45

It's not great you got the sense her keyworker doesn't like her - could things be going the other direction, she's not happy because she's not getting on in her childcare setting?

Generally though, things will change before you know it, you just grit your teeth and get through today, and then tomorrow, and then the next day. Have patience, she won't be like this forever.

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overthewave · 25/10/2025 16:27

Thanks - I needed some perspective. I’ve been feeling grumpier than normal lately - the poor sleep has got to me - and obviously in some ways she’s easier than she was but in other ways more challenging and this is going to be a theme throughout her life I guess!

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BunnyRuddington · 25/10/2025 18:34

Have her back molars come in yet @overthewave?

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