Concerns raised by P1 teacher

[FiveGuysFries]

I had concerns too so expected this, my concern is that my nearly 5 year old has ADHD.

Entering the first term of concerns/observations:

Primary one year, I have identified the following

He has very poor pencil grip and pressure. He can't successfully use scissors independently.

He struggles and becomes tearful if he doesn't get to play at his chosen station or with his chosen friend

His speech is difficult to understand at times. He will be attending S&L soon. He is easily frustrated and upset if he can't do something.

His play can be quite rough in the playground.

He is lacking in independence skills and organisation. He is unable to look after/find his belongings without adult support. He cannot put on his coat, or even attempt it.

He often needs instructions simplified, repeated and made personal to him by having his name added before he will complete a task.

His attention, focus and concentration are lacking and so there is a concern he is missing key teaching.

My older son has dyspraxia and is on the waiting list for an autism diagnosis so it's not a surprise. We've never had any issues with my older son's behaviour though and he's doing very well.

The teacher gave me this to take to the GP. I'm in NI and support here is crap and they wouldn't diagnose ADHD at this age anyway. The concerns also seem to point towards some autism concerns too, which is a surprise as it's not something I'd considered with him, he's very different from his brother in that sense.

I guess what I'm asking is:

Any parents who have children with ADHD or autism, from this list, is there any similar stuff you've seen and stuff that has helped?

I have been thinking of getting a visual checklist for him to tick off to help him with breaking down tasks and thus hopefully increase his independence without overwhelming him?

He's in speech therapy for phenological speech delay. He had physio as a toddler too for a mild gross motor delay.

He had some issues with aggression but this had calmed down enormously. He is a very loving, friendly and super sociable little kid.

Any guidance appreciated as I feel a bit lost. His brother's issues were mostly around repetitive behaviour and special interests and to be honest they've never caused him much bother. His fine motor skills are terrible but it's not overly held him back.

Has he had his hearing properly tested?

Edited to say the friendship issue and a couple others would indicate ASD for me, but it will be good to have SALT input first. Main thing to remember is it doesn't change who your child is, a diagnosis only helps your child and the adults around them understand how their world works and what they need. It's also possible to have both autism and adhd.

EP here

You say he is sociable that is so lovely to hear !!

Could he have more attention needs than asd traits?

What are the wiaiting times for assessment?

Do the staff take him out for extra support ?

He is already in SLT, not sure why the teacher has said awaiting. Making some progress there. They've highlighted attention difficulties too.

Re friendships, he has friends, but he has a best friend he's very attached to (and it's very much mutual!)

Assessment times here are literally years and years.

No, he doesn't seem to have trouble hearing but maybe it's worth double checking?

Staff are not providing any extra support at the moment. I'm going to go to the GP first then meet with the SENCO.

I know he's the same lovely boy 😻 I just want everyone else to know it too. I'm not at all against any diagnosis. I've known since my older son was 3 he was autistic but everyone - his dad, the school, my family - said noooo he's just quirky. Then he had severe anxiety, saw CAMHS and they immediately clocked it. Now he's almost 11 and entering secondary school without additional support. I'm not letting this happen to my 4 year old.

Re the coat, he can get it on fine at home. In nursery his (frankly horrible) teacher got annoyed with him (he says) about struggling with his coat and it seems to have caused some anxiety. He's scared of being told off so sometimes won't try. He can't get dressed independently though, we have to do the first bit (over the head/onto the legs) and he goes from there.

That's heart breaking

The system is in pieces

Makes me so angry

I totally agree with the poster above, what a shame your elder son had to reach that point when you had known all along.

What are the prices like for private assessment?

Hugely frustrating

Sorry to hear his nursery teacher was impatient with him
These poor kids

Hate this awful system and the pressures it places on vulnerable kids

Poor pencil griip, difficulty with scissors and issues with coat/clothing I'd suggest would be typical of dyspraxia. With the rough play he also may not realise how rough he is being due to this.

DS has ASD/dyspraxia and would miss input in the classroom if he wasn't right at the front as he couldn't filter out distractions. I would make sure he is sat right in front of the teacher for input if at all possible.

DS had a best friend at this age and lots of friends - although he generally found it easier to socialise 1 to 1. I wouldn't rule out ASD. Kids are very accepting at this age, it's when they're approaching Secondary school age that the gap widens and things become more difficult IME.

My son is severely autistic (genetic syndrome) my daughter is adhd /mild asd and my step son is more aspie with adhd traits.

from your list it reminds me more of my step son and asd

Thanks all, is probably ASD and or/ADHD. Anything that I can do to be helpful?

I've ordered a visual task/now/next thing, where you can peel off what you've done. To help independence as well.

Will do more scissor work though we were chopping hot dogs the other day and he was doing it like a pro. I wonder how much anxiety feeds into some stuff at school.

It doesn’t sound typical of ADHD to me. The teachers concerns sound more developmental, closer to ASD. Either way, it seems like support is needed with focus and attention and there are loads of things you can do to support that. Chat GPT would be give you good ideas if you feed it the right information.

Definitely get a hearing test from the GP. It's amazing how well young children with a hearing impairment can compensate by observing routine and behaviour around them, and because they don't necessarily know that what they're experiencing isn't "normal", they don't communicate.

He is so completely different from his brother, definitely true if you've met one kid with ASD you've met one! It was actually our 4 year old who made my husband realise our 10 year old was autistic. He seemed so completely typical, he's so full of imagination and chat, pointed early, joint attention is great. We couldn't take our 10 year old anywhere when he was 2 without him being obsessed with the doors and not playing with anything else whereas our youngest engaged with everything and does so much pretend play. Even his drawing is much more detailed than our older ones is even now.

I also would not assume ADHD yet - P1 is quite early to assess for sure plus what you're describing cannot be explained by ADHD. I'd start with SALT and occupational therapy assessments to look at coordination, sensory issues and understanding of language as all could impact on attention, listening, following instructions etc before anything else.

Will see what the doctor says. He's already in SALT, I'm gonna ask to get his hearing tested too.