Anyone else’s suddenly get hit with grief for your child’s younger years?! 💔

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Anyone else’s suddenly get hit with grief for your child’s younger years?! 💔

Yes but I also her hit with grief for my younger years 🥺

Yes, sometimes my heart really aches for my teens when they were little. They tryelyvare special times and very fleeting.

Yeah, they mostly ignore me now so I long for the days when they’d cuddle up on my lap

I’ve got a 6 year old and 2 older ones in their 20s and I savour every day with the 6 year old because I know I’ve only got another 3-4 years before the eye-rolling etc starts. My older kids are wonderful and I love spending time with them, but their teenage years were tough.

Oh goodness yes.

I so wish it was possible to go back and spend a day with DS when he was little. He was such a sweet little boy and used to say so many funny things.

Yes. My 14 year old breaks my heart every day. I can’t even listen to skipping through my fingers without sobbing. It may as well be written about us.

Yes, completely empathise & relate wholeheartedly 💚😢💚

Yes, I would give anything to go back and do it all again. In fact I could cry now just thinking about it 😢😭
I had no idea the years would fly by so fast.

I have two tweens and today I looked at a pair of giggly under 4s and felt so nostalgic.

Funny thing is I really didn’t enjoy that stage much and overall I far far prefer motherhood now. But the cute moments were wonderful and somehow rose tinted spectacles seem to edit out the tantrums!

I have young kids and I dread feeling like this one day, it’s already going by far too fast. I genuinely worry how I will cope with the sadness of them not being cute and little and cuddly!

My eldest is now 33, middle one 29 and my baby is 27. I look at them sometimes and am so very proud but my god, my heart still aches for the younger versions of themselves. I feel sad that I was so caught up in the treadmill of daily routine that I didn't enjoy those moments anywhere as much as I wish I had. Even the hard times (teenage years) when they were more reliant on you than they wanted to be.

Now in the same cycle with grandchildren. My eldest boy was a darling darling little boy, and he's now nearly 13 and just grunts at me and the sleepovers every weekend are distant memories

God no. I’m enjoying it more the older they get. Maybe I’ve been lucky so far but having teenagers around is great fun.

My darling 36 year old was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year. She was hard work as a little one but in those days ADHD was thought of as a naughty boy thing. I have a picture of her at about 18 months standing next to a pond in a lovely little dress, frilly white socks and red Clarks sandals. She looks so lovely and innocent with no idea of the difficulties that lay ahead of her. I wish I could go back, knowing what I know now and sweep her up into the biggest hug. I wish I could take away the self loathing she has, fear of rejection and all the other things that go with it. Goodness, made myself cry now. Silly old fool that I am.

Someone once said to me you don’t remember the last time you pick your child up. Had me in floods.

What is it they say - the days are long but the years are short 😢

Having experienced real harrowing grief, no this isn't what i would describe it as at all. I do however look back and feel pangs of missing those times and reminisce. It's also funny how we forget how hard it was and the challenges, which were of course worth it. This is why many want to have another child, then another. Special times to look back on fondly but not to grieve as they are here today as a tribute to your parenting and love. Xxx

My DD forbids me from playing the Abba song

I beg to differ. I carried sleeping 5 year old DS up the ladder into his bed and gave myself a nasty back ache. He’s always been tall and well-built. I never picked him up again.

For a while I was able to continue picking up younger (smaller) DD. We’d been on a long walk on holiday and I picked her up, she fell asleep on me as I was singing to her and I found myself crying into her hair because I knew it wouldn’t happen again.

I have two 15-yr-olds, a DD and a DS (twins). They are both autistic, with a variety of other diagnoses thrown in.

Both have relatively high needs, DS more so than DD. Neither can leave the house on their own, cross a road, pay for something in a shop. Both need me to be in the bathroom to shower/bathe, and both still struggle with shampooing their hair to varying degrees. DS is still in pull-ups and has no continence at all. They can't make any meals or food, although we've managed to get to the point of being able to do cereal (more or less).

I've tried everything possible to encourage independence but neither are anywhere near it yet. DS definitely won't ever live independently, and it's doubtful whether DD will.

Weirdly though, I actually think I hit the jackpot with my two beauts. I don't have to worry about where they are or who they are speaking to. As it stands, they still tell me everything. At home and in private they are funny, charismatic, young adults - although others wouldn't see this side of them. I don't have to worry about DD falling pregnant or either of them touching drink/drugs. They love to hang out with me.

DS is almost as tall as me, but he still wants to be cuddled like a big toddler, and likes to play "boop" with my nose and "piggies" with his toes. Loves his teddies. If he could sit on my lap he would.

Life can be a bit relentless sometimes and there isn't an end in sight, but we're in this strange limbo where I get the very best of them being more mature while still enjoying the cuddles and company of their younger years.

So I am so unbelievably lucky, I think.

Yes I do. Mine are 21 and 19 and I’d give anything to go back 20 years and do it all again.

Mine were really easy as teenagers and are completely lovely adults, but nothing makes me feel like they used to when they put their little arms up to be picked up.

Nostalgia is brutal.

My adult DD has brought her first flat. How has she such a grown up, she’s my wee girl. I’m so proud of her but oh my do I sometimes get overcome with missing little her.

Then I give myself a little shake and make a cup of tea and think how awesome she is now.

Nope 😁😁😁

I like the time and space I get to myself now. I like not knowing anything about other peoples poops. I like them making food for themselves. I like hanging out with them because they’re smart and interesting and want to talk about politics.

I categorically do not miss wiping toddlers bums and being woken up at 5am and having to spend hours doing crafts or playing with dolls or hanging around the park.

Yes, my youngest is 22 now and I miss those younger years! All the things we would grumble about I’d do over and Cherish them like climbing into bed with us in the middle of the night, singing whilst they went to the toilet or making one of us wait outside the door because they were scared,,,,, so many things xx

Nice thread. As the mother of a 3.5yo and 20mo, I am well and truly in the trenches right now and sometimes it's so so hard. They're brilliant little people who are so clever and funny but my goodness why will they not just get their shoes on when I ask?!