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Parenting

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11 month old delayed

4 replies

Lcfmmm · 22/10/2025 16:27

My DD2 has been classed as delayed in multiple areas. She has been unsettled since birth, has never liked being held other than facing outright but only if we are standing. We have never been able to sit down and hold her. She arches her back a lot and has done this since very young.

When she was first born we had a lot of challenges around feeding, but whilst these things have improved over time other things started to pop up as the months have gone on. She was prescribed different milks and reflux meds, etc but these things never helped. Reflux meds actually made her worse.

She can now sit her self up from laying down. She started to do this at 10.5 months. She has in the last week been trying to get on all fours, but then she’ll just go on her tummy and commando crawl. She’s been commando crawling since 8 months but she’s always been unhappy doing this and will cry when doing this. She also cry’s more when she does go on extended arms. Also in the last week she can pull to stand if the surface is low enough. She 9th centile for height and weight.

It’s been a really hard 11 months as we just want to see her happy and thriving, we are terribly worried about her. She has never babbled and even in the early months she never cooed but we put that down to how unsettled she has been. We have hoped that with every month things will get better, there just doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. She spends most of her waking hours crying, no matter what we do. We started to wonder if it’s partly her temperament as we read the term high needs baby but we worry she is in pain.

She’s had regular paedteician appointments since she’s was 3 months old. She’s been assessed by Speach and language therapist for feeding (solids.) She was referred to physio and had her first appointment two weeks ago. They said she has some hypermobility in her ankles, wrists and hips. And they confirmed to us that she is delayed. She also had HV at 10 months where she scored low in all areas except fine motor skills. DD1 is such a great big sister and adores her but If she sits and plays on the floor with her and touches her she’ll usually cry and throw herself back. I worry that I’m doing something wrong but I have tried to do everything the same that I did with DD1 who hit all her milestones and was such a happy baby. Also i don’t want to compare her to her sister because my first was very advance with speech and it exploded really quickly so i know that may not be the case for DD2. I just want to see her happy as she has spent the last 11 months extremely unsettled. I suppose I’m just looking for anyone who may have gone through anything similar and looking for positive stories of things getting better? Thank you if you read to this point and sorry it’s long.

OP posts:
Tdcp · 22/10/2025 16:52

I'm sorry you're going through this op. I can see that she has had speech and language and physio apps but have you taken her to the gp with your concerns about her being delayed? What have they said about it?

HumberBridge2 · 22/10/2025 19:08

PP- She's under a paediatrician, so the GP won't be much help.

I have had a similar journey with my DC2. They were in the black in all areas of development at 12months. We were referred to the Paeds who did genetic testing and MRI, all came back normal. DC is 3 soon and they are now walking and talking, not sentences but starting to put 2-3 words together! They have made a lot of progress in the past 6 months which is wonderful! So don't give up hope! We are waiting for an autism assessment (2 year wait here). SALT are involved but honestly their input has been rubbish, which I appreciate is due to being over-stretched. We did have Portage involved when DC was 18 months ish, could be something to ask for?

Emotionally it has been so hard. Reading the assessments and reports has been heartbreaking, because we know DC is behind but seeing it in black and white is honestly just shit. The anxiety of everything ruined my mat leave, and probably the following year too. My DC2 also didn't interact with sibling (DC1) for a looong time, which has been hard for the DC1. But now they are developing a relationship which is so so lovely.

I'm trying to brace myself for EHCP and school applications next year. Feels like there's a long journey ahead.

Lcfmmm · 22/10/2025 22:18

@Tdcp Yes as she is under a paediatrician we just go straight to them

@HumberBridge2 It sounds like you have been through so much but you sound very strong. It’s lovely to hear that your DC is walking and talking. It’s hard to imagine that at the moment for my DD because I’m so worried and in the thick of it that it doesn’t ever feel like it will ever happen which is probably very dramatic. It’s so reassuring to hear that DC is now developing a relationship with their sibling. It must be lovely for you all. I have come to realise over the last 11 months that referrals and waiting times are one of the hardest parts. I hope you and DC get all the support you need.

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BunnyRuddington · 22/10/2025 22:24

I was going to suggest adking for a referral to Portage too Flowers

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