Advice on how to handle full time work and being a mum

[m00c0w]

I just wanted to get some insight on how people handle working full time and having a baby? I started back at work 7 weeks ago and my baby is 15 months. For the first few weeks it was fine as I am used to not sleeping/ being tired and still getting on with the day and I welcomed the routine it brought us all but now I’m feeling so run down and tired as well as guilty for leaving my little one and only having a few hours a day with him. I’ve had to take today off as I feel unwell and so tired but I also feel guilty for taking the time off?

I feel guilty all the time that I’m not being a present mum and that I’m not being good enough at work. We can’t do it all to the standards we want to sadly some things have to get dropped. And I work part time!
im assuming there’s no way for you to drop a day at work?

The only way to cope is to buy in as much convenience and help as you can afford

I was thinking of asking to drop down to 4 days but I am scared of how it will be received because this is a new job not one I returned to after maternity leave

It's shit. I manage but it's awful. Especially when kids are so small, they still need their mum a lot. Mine is glued to me the second I walk in the door (his dad literally has to peel him off me finger by finger for bathtime).

I have zero respite as at 14 months he's developed such severe separation anxiety, we have started to cosleep. We never coslept before and he's had the same nanny since I went back to work at 7 months. So nothing is new. Just v needy all of a sudden.

I went back to work full time after my first child, it is hard, I was in the office too but work were flexible which took pressure off.
Little things I found that helped us practically and emotionally;

1. mornings were sacred. And unless I had an important meeting to get to, I tried my hardest to ensure there was a sense of being rushed. We’d wake up at 6:30, have 30mins playing, 30mins for breakfast and then get ready and leave. This meant mornings felt like quality time and we all enjoyed it.
2. my little one has tea at nursery so evening meals for them were simple snacking plates, toast or a batch cook meal from the freezer
3. we didn’t bath every night, this wasn’t a nursery thing as my little one has sensitive skin but it helped with timings
4. Having a husband who pulled his weight and is equally involved.
5. I would totally switch off from work in my evenings so I was present

I was fortunate as she soon loved nursery, and is a good sleeper so bedtimes weren’t a struggle.

Hello, I came on here to find any threads about this. I’ve been wondering the same. I was made redundant just at the time I was meant to go back to work. Our baby is going 3 days a week to nursery (as already planned.) I’m using this time to look for work etc. The problem is I’ve read all these articles that some people think it’s best not to leave a baby and I’m having difficulty getting my head around working more than 3 days, even though we definitely need the money.

My husband had a well paying job, but he’s leaving to start a business.. I’m now basically meant to cover all our expenses for a while. Maybe possible on 5 days a week.

Im also confused (sorry, this isn’t helping you exactly!) how one would manage to have a second child and work in this way. It feels like all these years of work are unraveling for me. Sorry again I don’t have solutions, I know there were solutions out there though!

It's so tough OP, I've two DDs - one 4 year old and a soon to be 1 year old. I went back to work full time after both of them and I have to say since having DD2 life has felt chaotic. I have so much guilt, especially with my second who started nursery at 9 months which I just wasn't ready for. Also with my eldest I'm struggling with guilt as she's started Reception and I can never do her school pick up or drop off as I teach so am always in school 😭. My house looks like a tornados passed through it and we've got endless piles of washing! Just impossible to keep on top of it all. DH is amazing but he works long hours too. I wish one of us could reduce our hours, even by a day, but we just can't afford it.

No advice really, it's bloody exhausting and I'm just praying it gets more manageable as they get older (might be dreaming!!). It was very cathartic though to write this post and know I'm not alone!

Remember if you’re the primary caregiver you need to be top of your game, this means giving yourself a break pg
hys and mentally when you can, enlisting help when you can and trying not to sweat anything that doesn’t matter so much x