Tell me about your 11-12 year old girls…

[Tinkeringg]

Tell me about your 11-12 year old girls…

Mine is so emotionally volatile - I literally do not know who will wake up in the morning. She constantly switching from bolshy, to withdrawn, to sweetness and light! 4 seasons in an hour!

I love her to bits but I do find this new stage of parenting quite tough - especially when I feel that I am always the one she blames or is angry at when things don’t go her way.

Sometimes she is incredibly mature but other times I am dealing with a very angry and hateful girl… I know it’s not her as such. I want to help her. But I also feel so much much attitude from her towards me - and sometimes my very presence or tone of voice just sets her off.

I don’t think it helps that o am the one that makes and enforces rules whereas her dad is much softer.

How’s everyone else getting on and when does it get easier? Will it get worse?

My DD is 14 and this is exactly what we’ve had. It’s hormones, worry/stress about school, lots of upheaval with changes with social circle and the pressure of looking/saying/doing the ‘right’ thing in front of their peers.
It’s so unpredictable and hard isn’t it! I know I get it wrong so much of the time but I think (a LOT!) of patience, trying to stay calm and just reiterating that you’re there for them and happy to listen. Don’t they say that kids are hardest to those they love the most as they are the ‘safe’ person?
My DD is more settled this school year finally (so far) but years 7/8/9 were a real rollercoaster.

@Tinkeringg my dd 12 year 7 is similar- i think alot if it is tiredness, getting use to year 7 etc. But its definitely me. Dh is softer and less hands on parenting so I think he gets off lightly!

My 11 year old is just as @Tinkeringg says hers is.

My 13 year old is scarier than Margaret Thatcher.

Please tell me it gets better.

Started a thread on this earlier in chat but not had any responses!

I'm just coming out of this with my nearly 15 yo...but in the full stream of it with her 12 yo sister.

The best advice I was given was to remember how unreasonable they were when they were a toddler.

I could cause her to stomp out of the room by breathing too loudly at one point! A raised eyebrow was treated as if it was literal violence!

We had always been about the discuss/debate things in a rational manner...until the hormones ran in with a huge battering ram!

I've found remaing calm, not engaging with rants, and giving her space to be the least damaging way forward. Firm boundaries like you would with a toddler, and clear expectations. You wouldn't hold a grudge with a 3 yo, so let go of any animosity.

I must confess to getting into a couple of arguments, which escalated initially, because I didn't realise the ground had shifted so radically, then I realised I was over-reacting to a 12 year old...not my first hour but God was having a laugh putting me through the menopause at the same time!

She's settled down a lot now, just in time for dd2 to turn into a demonic version of Kevin the teenager!