Partner doesn't do any night feeds with our 7 week old

[Kaybayx]

As the title suggests my partner doesn't do any night feeds with our 7 week old. He works as a scaffolder and says its dangerous to go to work tired so fair enough but I suggest he do the feeds till about 12am then I will do the feeds thereafter. He doesnt do this either. My partner doesnt do the night feeds of a weekend when he is off the next day either. When I ask him in the day he says yes he will then when baby wakes up I say he needs a bottle but then he gets annoyed at me and says no and turns over & goes back asleep so I have to do it. My eldest son from a previous relationship still wakes during the night sometimes (he has autism so doesn't sleep so great) so I have to get up with him too. He gives him 1 maybe 2 bottles of a day too. I'm just SO tired and exhausted. He doesn't help out alot at all. I feel like a single mum and I'm starting to feel abit of resentment towards my partner over this. Am I overreacting to this?

Yanbu for weekend nights. Was he always this useless before you gave birth?

YANBU but sadly extremely common. I would guess that only a minority of women actually have partners that happily wake up every night for the feeds. The vast majority have lazy twats who will keep on sleeping, but a lot of women never admit to this to preserve their "perfect family" image from the outside.

You have the choice of either sucking it up and doing it alone or ending the relationship. He is not going to change. No man will magically start waking up at night for a baby if they don't have the default sense of responsibility to do so from the day the child was born.

My husband was bloody useless during the night too. For one thing I breastfed and was a SAHM but the icing on the cake was he took himself off to the spare room for most of the first year to ensure he got a good nights sleep. He is an office worker, nothing dangerous.

kid sick during the night. Yep bed stripping and bathing sicky kid, finding clean pyjamas also my responsibility.

TBH I have a feeling the reason why I had secondary infertility was because I felt so resentful at doing all the parenting on my own. But we did have a second child and he was marginally better. But then the job required a lot of working in other countries and I found it easier just being me with the kids.

Im sorry.
my ex was like this with both of our kids.

I was on deaths door and he couldn't give a shit. Totally made me resent him.

whilst I was exhausted, I had to change my mind set that it was just down to me. Because if I got up my hopes up for a night off and I didn't get it, it made me feel worse.

sorry I know this isn't what you wanted to hear.

I breastfed all three of my babies and so I therefore did every single night wake ever with all of them. Still breastfeeding my third. I don’t expect him to get up with baby, but he gets up with the older ones if they need someone at night, or he sleeps with them. He helps in other ways. He works long hours and I’m at home on mat leave; but if he’s off at the weekend he gets up with the children at 6am so I can “lie in” and rest until 9/10am. Or he takes all the children out of the house so I can have a a moment of peace or a nap etc. he cooks for us all at weekends too. I just accept that he can’t do baby overnight wakeups because he has no boobs.
if he’s not doing night feeds is he supporting you in other ways ? Helping you catch up on rest etc etc