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Parenting

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Y5 School help

7 replies

Whippetrealgood · 21/10/2025 22:56

Hello,

I'm hoping someone experienced can help me.

My son has always been active and enthusiastic in school. He was in reception/y1 during covid, and consequently it's taken him a long time to pick up reading and writing. I have raised concerns a few times with school, but they said he didn't meet criteria to do a dyslexia assessment. He can read pretty well now, but writing and spelling are hard for him and he hates it. He can write semi neatly if he concentrates very hard but the spelling can still be hard to decipher.

As he moved up the school and the amount of written work has increased, he's been increasingly disengaged. I don't think he's particularly disruptive, just totally disinterested and very difficult to get him to do the work. He's extremely good at maths though and focuses well in maths lessons.

I've just had another parents evening being told that he's not concentrating, not really trying, produces very little work etc. I've spoken to him about it repeatedly but it makes no difference. He's kind and nice natured but I do worry about all this. He has so much potential but he just won't engage at all.

He seems quite hormonal at the moment- emotional and easily frustrated.

School have introduced fidgets and movement breaks but no one has suggested adhd or anything and I don't think it's that either- but I am no expert.

I have tried to be gentle and encouraging and I've also tried more firm conversations about showing respect by listening and trying his best and now I don't know what else we can do.

It's also really hard to think he spends hours at school every day and isn't happy 😕 (not the schools fault- he was the same at his previous school).

Any ideas or advice gratefully received.

OP posts:
SwirlyShirly · 21/10/2025 23:16

I have a 14 year old who has just this year been diagnosed as having inattentive adhd, which I understand is less common than hyperactive adhd in boys.

Have you looked up the symptoms around this to see if it fits, as it does present very differently than hyperactive adhd and it was missed by his primary school with my son - although parents evenings and school reports always mentioned lack of work completed, easily distracted, distracts others, lacks focus. I would suggest doing a little bit of research and see what you think.

tellmesomethingtrue · 21/10/2025 23:45

Are they breaking the work down into small manageable steps? Are they providing scaffolding for his written work?

Finchgold · 22/10/2025 00:35

My 8 year old is very similar except maths and reading are both a huge challenge. I hate that he feels unhappy going to school. I’m trying to think out of the box to help him learn at home and it’s exhausting.

He is so clever and knowledgable in loads of ways but he isn’t progressing in school. I’m not clear if he struggling because he can’t focus enough to learn or if he finds it hard to learn so loses focus.

Id love to know what has worked for other kids in this situation.

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Whippetrealgood · 22/10/2025 09:08

I'm not too sure. I know he's being taken out for small group support with his writing.

Inattentive adhd is definitely worth looking into, I didn't realise that was a possibility! I think because he tends to zone out rather than be hyperactive it never really crossed my mind...

OP posts:
SwirlyShirly · 22/10/2025 09:33

Pls don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to label your son, it may be nothing or even something completely different, it just reminded me of what the teachers said about my boy and with us it was missed for such a long time and then we had to wait for assessment for a long time and now he’s just about to start his GCSE studies. He could have had the support he needed a lot sooner and been in a stronger position. His symptoms were frequently treated as behavioural problems and he was therefore often punished for things he couldnt help (still is occasionally actually - forgot school iPad this week and got a detention, but I’m working on it!)

DecemberPlusFebruary · 22/10/2025 09:49

What is his reading like? Is he performing below expectations in reading comprehension tests? Does he read at home for pleasure at all?

Whippetrealgood · 22/10/2025 13:02

His reading has caught up to almost age related expectations now, just in the last year. He is an extremely reluctant reader :(

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