It's a fussy eater one

[RebeccaDuMaurier]

My 7 yo is becoming more and more of a fussy eater. He's never been great but with each week recently he seems to have become more fussy.
He is having occupational therapy support at school for sensory issues and motor skill stuff. I don't know if this is relevant, I am pretty sure these things are related to each other.

Food is becoming a real source of stress in our house. He constantly talks about food - always pushing for sweets / treats, always asking what's for dinner and unless it's fish fingers, waffles and beans he says he's not hungry and it's just painful watching him not eat stuff (I'm being slightly dramatic there, he has about three / four meals that he'll eat happily but they aren't very nutritious or varied). He barely eats any fruits / veggies. His protein intake is terrible and I'm just at my wit's end with the whole food thing. I have a 1 year old too who eats really well (at the moment!). I give him food he has said he has previously liked or I research different recipes I think he'll like.

I don't really know what to do for now. Shall I just cook him his safe meals for now, and make a separate meal for the other three of us? He isn't underweight (probably the opposite to be honest). How do I manage his constant asking about what's for dinner / asking for snacks / pushing for junk food? I say no, obviously, but being asked multiple times a day for chocolates and sweets or similar is becoming frustrating.

My hunch is he is anxious and food is something that gives him comfort (I'm probably wrong). I will get in touch with specialist nutritionists, I think. But in the mean time - I'd love to try and allay a bit of stress around food for now. I'm a confident cook and I enjoy home cooking. I prefer to make as much stuff from scratch as possible. My son is generally very disinterested in my home cooked meals, he prefers food from packets and tins. I did baby led weaning with him - obviously that was a while ago now - currently feeling like that was a total waste of time.
Thanks for reading.

In my opinion, it seems like your habits are not so good and it will reflect on your kids habits. Of course if they have chocolates and sweets available, they will prefer instead of healthy food.
I think it's a bad idea cook separately. You should have a routine, when you all seat down for a nice meal together.. try to cook healthy with cozy home cooked meals.. try to get him involved in cooking your meals together.

And if you see that is above you, seek for professional help. The eat disorders develop in a young age. If is that the case, is important to see why is that happening and try to fix it.

I hope I helped! Good luck 🍀

beans are healthy: i would grind up some ham or cook up some minced pork and add it into the bean recipe early on in the cooking process (do you buy tinned or make your own?) my dh adds apples, carrots or raisins occasionally (easy enough to grate and incorporate).
fish fingers are not unhealthy either ( do you make your own using nice fresh fish or packaged?). waffles again if you make your own you could add in some shredded zucchini or shredded apple with almost no flavor or texture change.
my point is it's easy to up the nutritional value and 3-4 meals would be fine till you know more about his challenges.
i would make what you plan for the other family members knowing he will need some of his preferred items after 3-5 bites of "family" food.
likes sweet and not a big protein eater, there are protein shakes that taste really nice.

i'm thinking more protein might fill him up and decrease the requests. have him meal plan and cook with you might help him eat more foods.

Look in to Arfid.
Avoident restrictive food intake disorder.
And yes give him his safe foods. Some food is better than no food

This is what I'd do. I've got a 3 year old with severe sensory issues and food is such a minefield. If he doesn't like a texture or taste he will happily starve. I'm not saying your boy has it but from how you describe it it's very similar

Three or four meals is pretty good. My DS ate nothing but potato waffles when he was small. I mean actually nothing else not potato waffles and something or snack elsewhere.He would probably be diagnosed with ARFID now. Creating stress over eating just tends to make it worse. We eventually saw a dietician who suggests serving safe food plus one other similar item. Seperate plates and no fuss. Remove without drama any uneaten food. If the new food is accepted then gradually work it up into a safe food then go again. It can be very slow but DS can now as an adult find something to eat in most places.

@DrCoconut how long did your little one only eat potato waffles for? Mine used to love those but he's dropped so many foods that I'm tearing my hair out trying to find anything he will eat. I look at it like as long as calories are going in I'm not letting him see how much it stresses me out😅

With everything else I’d avoid hidden veggies because they can cause a child to lose a safe food. My son’s shocking safe category is blended soups and 2 smoothue options! The rest are fish fingers, bread, pasta and the like and he’s considered a really good eater.

While you wait for specialists keep putting other food on the table near his meal and making a casual comment into the air (not AT him) that he could put one on his plate or smell it.