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6 months paternity leave??

54 replies

Thea45 · 21/10/2025 13:41

Just following on from another thread about an expectant mother whose partner is looking to use his paternity leave to improve his running PB. Why on earth would a couple need them both to be off for 6 months at the same time (twins/disability excepted!!) surely the whole family would benefit much more if he was just funded to e.g drop down to 3-4 days a week for the first 18 months. There wouldn’t be time for gaining PBs but 18 months of mum being able to actually get a shower, attention for the older children and precious bonding time and just help everyone in he family be a bit less stressed including dad. We have a 15 month old, she’s far more work than a 3 month old, I’m back at work and she’s now the age she extra loves time with daddy. Plus DH loves his job and wouldn’t have wanted to give it up completely for 6 months, although does appreciate his days off too and an extra one always a bonus

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Jellybunny56 · 22/10/2025 21:11

Thea45 · 22/10/2025 21:04

I do understand why a couple would want 6 months off together (actually we once had almost that when partner left the military - resettlement leave) it was absolutely amazing and we still look back fondly on that time together as a family. In fact we had such a good time we went on to have another baby 🤣
I don’t mind 6 months paternity leave as long as not tax payer funded in any way but let’s just call it what it is, a 6 month jolly, not some amazing new thing that creates super husbands and fathers. I heard a couple of guys in a baby group talking about how they were able to be far better dads than fathers in the past due to all this paternity leave. What insulting rubbish to all the amazing fathers of yesteryear who didn’t need the incentive of loads of time off alongside another person doing most of the legwork. Imagine if I told my older colleagues who were mothers that I thought I was a much better mother and more bonded than they could have been with their mere 18 weeks maternity leave. They would rightly be insulted and tell me I’m talking utter rubbish.

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Can you point me to even just one place that is giving 6 months fully paid paternity tax payer funded, or is that just something you’ve made up?

Re. “Better” fathers, I don’t know about better, but the ability to be more present isn’t a bad thing if a man actively wants to be a present parent. A dad who is able to spend 6 months with their baby has much more time to bond than a dad who after the first 2 weeks is gone for work before baby wakes up for the day and arrives back from work 30 minutes before bedtime which is the reality for lots of families unfortunately once dad goes back to work.

belladonna22 · 22/10/2025 21:18

Thea45 · 22/10/2025 21:04

I do understand why a couple would want 6 months off together (actually we once had almost that when partner left the military - resettlement leave) it was absolutely amazing and we still look back fondly on that time together as a family. In fact we had such a good time we went on to have another baby 🤣
I don’t mind 6 months paternity leave as long as not tax payer funded in any way but let’s just call it what it is, a 6 month jolly, not some amazing new thing that creates super husbands and fathers. I heard a couple of guys in a baby group talking about how they were able to be far better dads than fathers in the past due to all this paternity leave. What insulting rubbish to all the amazing fathers of yesteryear who didn’t need the incentive of loads of time off alongside another person doing most of the legwork. Imagine if I told my older colleagues who were mothers that I thought I was a much better mother and more bonded than they could have been with their mere 18 weeks maternity leave. They would rightly be insulted and tell me I’m talking utter rubbish.

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Pretty sure this is just a troll at this point, otherwise just someone making a bad faith argument. Nowhere have I seen it said that people with shorter parental leaves can’t be great parents (pretty sure there are plenty of them in America!), just that many families have found the extra time together a great benefit. You seem to believe that it’s all a ruse to get men extra time off at the expense of postpartum women - I’m sorry for whatever experiences have led you to see the world this way.

Original poster
Thea45 · 22/10/2025 21:46

Jellybunny56 · 22/10/2025 21:11

Can you point me to even just one place that is giving 6 months fully paid paternity tax payer funded, or is that just something you’ve made up?

Re. “Better” fathers, I don’t know about better, but the ability to be more present isn’t a bad thing if a man actively wants to be a present parent. A dad who is able to spend 6 months with their baby has much more time to bond than a dad who after the first 2 weeks is gone for work before baby wakes up for the day and arrives back from work 30 minutes before bedtime which is the reality for lots of families unfortunately once dad goes back to work.

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I already said I don’t mind as long as it’s not tax payer funded, not that it was currently tax payer funded, thankfully!!
There are loads of amazing mums and dads that don’t get to spend 24/7 with their children. My post was actually about how spreading the time out enables fathers to be much more present over a longer period of time and at an age where the child appreciates them being around too. For the first few months babies tend to be more than happy just cuddled up with mum but our 15 month old now at a stage she really appreciates us both around. I totally get people appreciated their 6 month jolly and as I’ve said If companies want to offer this as a perk that’s part of the package then fair enough but I would be in full sympathy with the other employees who don’t get this benefit, particularly if they could do with the time off alot more e.g for bereavement etc. Parents of babies/toddlers being able to drop a day a week though isn’t unfair as helping them balance all the extra workload of having a very young child. Although clearly some people are privileged enough already they don’t feel they could do with that extra help and would rather just a block of time to go on a jolly

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Original poster
Thea45 · 22/10/2025 22:01

belladonna22 · 22/10/2025 21:18

Pretty sure this is just a troll at this point, otherwise just someone making a bad faith argument. Nowhere have I seen it said that people with shorter parental leaves can’t be great parents (pretty sure there are plenty of them in America!), just that many families have found the extra time together a great benefit. You seem to believe that it’s all a ruse to get men extra time off at the expense of postpartum women - I’m sorry for whatever experiences have led you to see the world this way.

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What I’m saying is this seems to be the narrative of fathers that receive this leave, patting themselves on the back for being what they perceive as amazing fathers, when many men are and were just amazing fathers for love. My DH spends the half hour he spends with DD between meetings while I get a shower or cook dinner, singing her favourite nursery rhymes etc, they’ve got a lovely bond together. He cares for all the children on his own on days I do shifts , it’s all proper hard graft, not just chilling with a sleeping newborn telling yourself what an amazing man you are

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