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Original poster

Please tell me my son isn't the only one...

14 replies

Green199 · 20/10/2025 22:39

I'm not sure how to word this, but my son is 5. His sister is 3.5. I usually don't let them play upstairs as they usually cause a ruckus and fight and ends up in screaming.
Well they were behaving today and so I let them continue playing, my daughter comes downstairs 20mins into playing and is upset saying her brother bit her. He does NOT bite. He was before 3.5 but this is not a behaviour for him. He has a hard time understanding and listening to boundaries. I'm currently getting the school to help me observe him and work out if he has P.D.A.

I ask her where and she said he had bitten her privates. I check her over, and he has a red mark at the top of her privates. And I completely lost my mind over this, I shouted at him maybe too long and put him to bed. It had me in a hysterical state. I don't understand this, i don't understand why he did it. I don't know if this is normal?? Or extremely adverse behaviour?
I have dealt with childhood abuse issues myself I am a single mum with no partner so not a "learnt" act so to speak...
I just don't know what this means or if its common sometimes with kids their age... I understand them poking about and having a giggle but this just felt so much more extreme to me... sorry this is long, thank you for reading or any advice

OP posts:
clubsspadesdiamondshearts · 20/10/2025 22:41

I would have concerns about this behaviour, he is young and it was most likely ‘innocent’ and just not understanding boundaries. I would be watching how he behaves the next few weeks. Have you got someone in your life you trust that you can speak to and support you?

clubsspadesdiamondshearts · 20/10/2025 22:44

I would also speak to him calmly tomorrow morning, apologise for shouting and give him a cuddle and check in with his sister too, have breakfast as a family and keep it lowkey, have tomorrow to think things through but I’d ask him about it and why he did it when he’s back from school, it might be worth speaking to the school.

parietal · 20/10/2025 22:46

Does he have any access to YouTube or tv or TikTok or similar? Could he be copying something he has seen? Or even been told in the school playground?

Blessedbethefruitz · 20/10/2025 22:48

Does he know about the pants rules, or pantosaurus? That might be a place to start.

suburberphobe · 20/10/2025 22:50

I ask her where and she said he had bitten her privates. I check her over, and he has a red mark at the top of her privates.

This is very disturbing.,,,

You need to protect your daughter.

Do you have a husband who can take your son aside and tell him right from wrong?

Where is he getting this type of wrong information at such a young age? It's really not normal.

Iwilladmit · 20/10/2025 22:54

suburberphobe · 20/10/2025 22:50

I ask her where and she said he had bitten her privates. I check her over, and he has a red mark at the top of her privates.

This is very disturbing.,,,

You need to protect your daughter.

Do you have a husband who can take your son aside and tell him right from wrong?

Where is he getting this type of wrong information at such a young age? It's really not normal.

Did you read the OP? She said she is a single mum. but even if there was a DH why would it be his job to tell the child right from wrong. His mum is well able to do that.
however, this is a much more complex than that.

OP - speaking to the school or possibly a charity like NSPCC for expert advice might be useful. They will be able to give exact guidance as to what is “normal” and what is not and how to handle this.

suburberphobe · 20/10/2025 22:56

Oh sorry, just seen you're a solo mum.

Me too.

Would NEVER put up with that though.

Please reach out to whoever you can to help deal with this awful situation before it escalates.

Ooogle · 20/10/2025 22:57

clubsspadesdiamondshearts · 20/10/2025 22:44

I would also speak to him calmly tomorrow morning, apologise for shouting and give him a cuddle and check in with his sister too, have breakfast as a family and keep it lowkey, have tomorrow to think things through but I’d ask him about it and why he did it when he’s back from school, it might be worth speaking to the school.

I don’t think you need to apologise for shouting. It’s ok to shout every now and again especially if he has bitten his sister and even more so given the location. He needs to realise it is completely unacceptable. You need to find a bit more about what happened. Was it random, were they fighting etc. I would be concerned about this behaviour.

thetallfairy · 20/10/2025 23:00

suburberphobe · 20/10/2025 22:50

I ask her where and she said he had bitten her privates. I check her over, and he has a red mark at the top of her privates.

This is very disturbing.,,,

You need to protect your daughter.

Do you have a husband who can take your son aside and tell him right from wrong?

Where is he getting this type of wrong information at such a young age? It's really not normal.

Ffs 🤦🏼‍♀️

Original poster
Green199 · 20/10/2025 23:03

They weren't fighting , they had been just playing with toys and running around hyper. No sugar involved as this was just before pajamas time 7pm roughly.
He's been told that he has privates and they shouldn't be touched like that. He's always monitored with screen time it's only YouTube and TV kids shows approved.
He has serious lack of impulse control but this is just out of my thought comprehension...
I have a meeting with the senco tomorrow and it will be one of the first things I mention... just at a loss for understanding

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 20/10/2025 23:34

Ooogle · 20/10/2025 22:57

I don’t think you need to apologise for shouting. It’s ok to shout every now and again especially if he has bitten his sister and even more so given the location. He needs to realise it is completely unacceptable. You need to find a bit more about what happened. Was it random, were they fighting etc. I would be concerned about this behaviour.

Show quote history

Agree. Don’t apologise. Move on, new day.

BestZebbie · 20/10/2025 23:42

It’s quite a difficult place to bite accidentally so you need to establish if he targeted her or if she was eg: crawling over him during a fight/wrestle.

Onceuponatimeinalandfaraway · 20/10/2025 23:53

You tube kids can seem ok but have dodgy bits in it.
Eg. my son has a fav Lego build he likes to watch. All just a speed build video until a couple minutes before the end when the person building it uses the truck to run over a dog, then has a Lego mini figure shoot a gas canister held by another figure. Then it goes back to dog sitting by table and gas canister in the van and invent build display.

this is on you tube kids rather than normal YouTube.

Lavender14 · 21/10/2025 00:00

BestZebbie · 20/10/2025 23:42

It’s quite a difficult place to bite accidentally so you need to establish if he targeted her or if she was eg: crawling over him during a fight/wrestle.

This was my thinking, you need more clarity on what exactly happened and if he's bit her in whatever location happened to be most accessible or if he's targeted that particular area for a reason and if so, why. The fact you've explained private parts already is a good place to be starting from. I think you need to speak to her to find out exactly what happened and then with him to again understand it. I agree with others that YouTube can be very hit and miss and its not something I would let a 5 yo on unless I was actively watching with them. Hopefully the senco can steer you in the right direction.

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