Feck - why do I always feel guilty when I go and do something for myself?

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

DH off on holiday with his mates this week - A WHOLE 7 DAYS. I had invite to girlie weekend in Spain in October. He actively says I should just go ahead and do it. I do so then realise that it's at the beginning of the Autumn school break or slap bang in the middle of it if we move house to a different area which we hope to do sooner or later.
I'm only away Friday until Sunday night. We can still go away as a family in the caravan as planned. DH can spend 3 full days alone with the kids and see what it's like and how tiring it is (hence reason I need a break) - SO WHY DO I STILL FEEL GUILTY - HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP

Repeat to self - it doesn't matter

because you obviously don't get enough time to yourself so it still feels odd

A few more trips like that and you'll be gagging for the next one to come along LOL

Voluptua, I know EXACTLY how you feel. My DDs are probably much younger than yours (pre-school age) but I have trouble going out by myself for even a few hours. I think you just have to bit the bullet and do it. Your DH thinks you should, the DCs are well cared for, and you need a break.

I think it is easy to get sucked in to the "nobody can do it as well as I can" and "it's my job, I need to be mummy 24hrs a day, 7 days a week". DCs need a break from mummy occassionally to make them realise how wonderful she is, just like mummies need a break from DCs.

Now, if I could just follow that advice myself...

Another vote for the 'completely understand' brigade. Dh has booked a spa day for me for my birthday to take place on Sunday, and I feel soooo guilty about going. Yet, since dd was born he has been abroad twice for stag weekends, been on countless cricket, football and golf related outings, been for millions (ok maybe not millions) of meals with work, and had oodles of time to himself.

I have been out with the girls three times since I got pregnant! Dd is now 1yo.

I say go, have a few glasses of bubbly on the plane, and enjoy yourself!!

Mine are 3+4 (though DD will be 5 by that time). I don't have a problem about leaving them with DH, can't wait to be free for 3 days but still feel guilty about the timing, the money (though it'll probably cost same as his weeks walking holiday).

Why why why????? It's silly.

Oh it's booked already. But it was only after I booked it that I thought to check when the school hols were. I think the guilt is that I haven't discussed the timing and cost with DH though that shouldn't make any difference. I think it's in case he puts on a crestfallen face to think that the family holiday will be 3 days shorter. But it shouldn't matter. Like you say Pink, he's away with work all the time, goes out to do a (expensive) hobby once a week.

God why do we beat ourselves up about it. I annoy myself

I totally know how you feel. Although I have made myself do it on a couple of occassions. It was hard but you enjoy them much more when you get back.

I am actually off in a coup;e of hours and leaving DH with DS until sSunday. Although this isn't a holiday, taking 20 14 year old girls on a school camping trip!!!! No wonder i'd rather run around after a baby. less tiring!!!

I was going to start a convo about exactly this! Me and some girly friends are planning a day out this sunday, to celebrate a couple of birthdays. Leaving at about 10am - coffee - shops - lunch - shops- bar etc Prob be back around tea time! This leaves my husband with our 3dc - I feel soooo bad about this, why!

I look after them every single day of the week, my dh has absolutely no problem with me going out for the day, yet I still feel sooo bad! My dh went out for the whole day last Sunday and I don't mind that either, but I bet he did not have this great feeling of guilt .

I think it must be some sort of 'mother' thing! So we are not allowed to go out for the whole day without feeling the 'guilt', I feel guilty for leaving them, guilty for having my dh look after them for a 'whole' day , guilty that I will be having a good time! When will it stop . . .

Marchbunny - I know exactly what you mean.