New born / baby essentials

[Ellie126]

I’m a FTM 21 weeks pregnant and I’m really starting to research what we need but it feels a little overwhelming. Sorry if these questions sound really stupid, I probably sound so naive. Budget isn’t an issue, we just want to buy what makes most sense / is most practical and mostly comfortable for our baby without getting anything that may be unnecessary. Everyone (from different walks of life) have all said don’t spend an absolute fortune because babies inevitability grow out of stuff. Whether that’s clothes, Moses baskets, cots etc. A colleague said you can book an appointment at John Lewis and they run you through all the gear. Sounds great and I love John Lewis but I worry they might try and upsell a lot - which is great and I want our baby to have the best but realistically I want to try and be practical.

However, we hope to have more children in the future and in that case perhaps it makes sense to spend £ on good quality cots, travel systems

It would be great if parents could give their opinions on the below questions - I know everyone will have different styles but it’s just so I can gauge what’s more practical / what’s less so.

1. Do I buy a Moses basket and / OR cot NOW or just a Moses basket for the first few months and then buy a cot?
2. Is a travel system with a newborn car seat / pram etc etc worth it? What happens when the baby grows… can you buy a bigger car seat that also goes in the pram? Or should I buy car seat and pram separately? I remember being in a buggie of some sort until 3/4?
3. I love the look of baby bjorn carriers as you actually get to be close to your baby. Would this substitute a pram when walking out and about or should I get both? Some mothers have said in terms of travel baby bjorns are excellent.
4. we have a baby rocker already, but babies also need mobiles and matts etc right? What other essentials do I need? This is probably the stupid question. I know babies need tummy time etc, I want him to be stimulated and have things to look at so of course toys but what do I need?
5. we already have baby grows, muslin cloths, baby powder, hats, little shoes,
6. oh! I’m guessing I need a baby bath?

Thanks so much - no idea if this is the right sub. I really have so much support from parents and in-laws / cousins etc so I could just ask them but feel like they get very passionate about what’s right / isn’t.

I plan on going to NCT classes in January - do they advise on this kind of stuff there or is it usually just focussed on breastfeeding / birth options?

EDIT: this is not an exhaustive list and I’m sure there are lots of things I have forgotten to write down / think about

Hiya! I had my first in December 23 and am currently in labor with my second!

The best purchases I made by far are;
https://www.mamasandpapas.com/collections/mamas-papas-ocarro-pushchair/products/ocarro2-teal-8pc-comp-kit-peb360pro-67091tl02

https://amzn.eu/d/3i5x4h0

The pram set from mamas and papas is just such fantastic quality, I’ve taken it on some of the most ridiculous walks (we are talking shin high mud ect.) and it’s still in perfect condition. I love how easy it is to change the attachments from baby bassinet to car seat ect. Since buying our son’s toddler car seat we have only used the ‘normal pram’ part but with DC2 imminently arriving I’m looking forward to using the other bits again. My DS prefers to walk now anyway!

I have seen that mamas and papas now sell a ‘Moses style’ legs which you can have at home that the pram bassinet clips into so you can save some money there by using that in and out of the house for the first 6 months. I’ll admit I used the bassinet inside for my first but we just placed it on a footstool in the lounge and will be likely be doing that again. We also had a cot from the get go and he’s slept in that past 6 months.

As for the mat, I know that’s a RANDOM thing to recommend but it’s the gift I buy for all our friends expecting because it’s a game changer. We started with ‘normal’ changing mats but were finding the messy changes super frustrating because they are flat and often have creases the mess would puddle into the creases and flow under babies back. Our son was also a little fussy about it being cold touch. We did some research and found the one I’ve sent a link to, it’s warm touch (stopped all hysterical crying.) The best bit is because it’s completely smooth and sloped all mess runs down away from baby and gets caught into the ‘lip’ at the bottom which makes for a SUPER quick and easy change.

Congrats and best of luck. ✨

Every baby is different so there isn’t too much you can plan beforehand. Each family is different so someone could recommend a lightweight, super slimline pram but actually you want something with a bigger basket for shopping and bigger wheels for muddy walks.

The John Lewis visit is good because you can try different types of pram and discuss where you might be taking the pram, whether you’ll be switching between two cars etc and they can point you in the right direction but they do upsell quite a bit.

1. most first time parents like to get the babies room done before the arrive and the cot is part of that. You won’t use the cot for the first few months but you could argue it’s better than trying to build it when you’re sleep deprived. Don’t spend a lot on Moses baskets - they are very hit and miss. Ours ended up just taking up space and was never used as they hated it.
2. Depends where you live and what you’re doing really. Lots of popping in and out of shops, it makes sense. Baby can only spend a max of two hours in a car seat (newborn less) so if it’s a long drive, walk then you’ll want the bassinet on or the buggy seat. Travel system was great for us because we used the bassinet for sleep when travelling. We moved to a fixed 360 spin seat around 12 months and switched to a trike for quick trips. If you’re planning children in quick succession look for ones that can convert to a double buggy or can have the buggy board or trike buggy.
3. both for us. Different uses at different times. Going for a walk, trying to get something done in the house - baby carrier. Shopping or when you need them to sleep visiting someone’s house - pram.
4. they can’t spend too much time in a rocker. They don’t need a mobile or a specific mat, any blanket will do. Toys you can find pretty much anywhere. Crinkly things and bright colours but actually they just like things. When mine got to sitting age, I bought some wooden spoons, fabric coasters and plastic bowls and let them just hit them, feel the different textures. You’ll get pretend keys and pretend phones and pretends remotes and they’ll still just want the real ones.
5. check your baby powder is talc free, if not bin it. They don’t need shoes until they start to walk and then very soft soles ones. Everyone will tell you zip babygrows are the best but I didn’t get on with them because mine had long legs and it hard to wiggle them into zip babygrows. Try babygrows from different shops because they fit different, some are wider round the body, some are longer. With my long, thin baby I found sainsburys, Matalan and next to be the best ones. They also washed well.
6. You don’t need one, you could do it in the sink. I found a baby bath easier because we could do the bath in the living room rather than the bathroom or kitchen and it was warmer. Bonus it also doubled as a bucket for boiler water when the boiler broke (and we were done with the baby bath).

There’s a lot of stuff you don’t need and you run out of space quite quickly because all this stuff is bulky. Buy stuff when you need to (e.g breastfeeding didn’t work and you need bottles or this sleep aid might actually work) or because it makes life easier.

If you think you need it you don't. If you do look second hand and it can be picked up once you know you need it.

Whether you need a pram, travel system or carrier well it depends on your lifestyle.
I wasn't going to have my own car as we were a 1 car family and my partner needed it for commuting so didn't bother with a travel system. I know a lot of people who switched to a spin chair around 4 months when there little ones started to get heavy. The only person I know that stuck with it for the full time had a tiny car and it was a space issue. Think beyond the days of having a tiny 7lb baby.

I have a 5 yo and a 6 week old. We have a pram, a cloth sling, a structured sling, a rucksack toddler carrier and a stroller. All were second hand. I think the total price for all of them was ~£150! The RRP of the pram alone was £800, it's on its 4th baby but you wouldn't know. It has a robust basket and a really good rain cover. The handle is adjustable which was essential as I'm 5ft and my partner is 6ft. Slings are great for rural walks, my daughter didn't like the pram until 4 months and my newborn currently prefers the sling. Once my daughter outgrew the newborn scrunched phase the structured sling was better we used that until about 18 months regularly and occasionally until 2.5 - it was handy when travelling through the airport when we needed to move quickly and didn't want to lose the toddler! The rucksack bag was used between 1.5 and 3.5 on long walks.

We did cloth nappies you might want to look into these. I would absolutely do cloth wipes rather than disposables they are far superior.

We got a small travel cot for the downstairs sleeping and traveling with.

We got loads of use out of our baby bath we used it with my daughter until she was 3... Granted she was only the size of a 1 year old at this point. We had a house with a water tank and the baby bath was small enough that we could fill it with the shower and also it felt wasteful to fill the big bath when they are tiny. We had the John Lewis one and are using it again with our second.

Don't buy seasonal clothes ahead of time you don't know how quick or slow growing your baby will be. When my daughter was born we were given some summer dresses in the age she would be the following summer. She was small and I was a bit upset that they wouldn't get worn. Thankfully she was super slow growing and fitted in them the following summer!

We bought pretty much everything second hand from a waste and climate perspective. I would advise looking on second hand places even if you want to buy new. We changed our mind on what pram and other things we wanted to buy based on seeing how worn they looked second hand.

For my LO we got a John Lewis cot bed, so it starts as a cot and when they get older you lower it and take off the sides and have a toddler bed. Ours has lasted over 4y. We had a Moses basket as well for during the day really.

You will need a decent changing bag with lots of compartments. Big clips for clipping changing bag and anything else to pram/pushchair. A portable changing mat for the bag, again pockets for a pack of Waterwipes and a mini sudocrem, nappy bags.

Prams/buggies/pushchairs are rather personal preference and trial and error. We started out with one but it was just too heavy. I’d say you need a balance between enough space to take the kitchen sink wherever you go but light enough to carry upstairs, on busses etc I liked having a cup holder.

I didn’t have a travel system, I’ve heard some people say they are not worth it but if it is something you want to go for work from the car seat backwards. Join ‘car seat advice U.K.’ on Facebook and read up on what you need because all car seats aren’t created equal. Unfortunately, it’s not against the law to sell car seats that would be less than useless in a crash. We also have less stringent testing standards than some other countries so if possible find something Swedish plus tested.

When deciding on sleep spaces, check out baby sleep guidelines on lullaby trust. Things like bumpers in the cot are unnecessary and dangerous. You will definitely a few cellular blankets, either for layering up in winter or layering down in summer. They are also very portable for keeping lo cosy in a pushchair or as a mat for the baby on holiday or if you are visiting a relatives house but the floor situation is a bit suspect.

When baby is a little older, sleep sacks are the bees knees. They are by tog like a duvet so you will need a summer yog and a winter tog.

One of my friends told me about getting a little portable touch light for night feeds so you can see what you are doing but keep the atmosphere cosy and chilled.

You will be stuck in one place for a while either feeding or with a sleeping baby too afraid to move 😅 so having a little stick pile of snacks to hand is good.

Baby monitor. We just went for a classic audio one but I know some people have video. A room thermometer is helpful as you need to make sure they don’t over heat in summer or some baby monitors also have temperature.

Swim nappy, pram suit, puddle suit, they say put baby in one layer more than you are wearing so its useful to have some sleeveless vests, short sleeve, and long sleeve for layering.

A couple of soft books. Any toys that have a variety of textures and can be safely sucked and chewed. Lamaze toys are good because they can also be clipped onto a pram or baby gym. Also, taggies soft toys with ribbons are good. A water filled teether. Gets lots of That’s Not My books and Where’s Mr/Mrs flap books as babies love just trying to turn pages and it’s great to start them off with an interest in books early.

Wish you lots of happiness.

The type of car seat which is compatible with a pram (travel system) is called an "infant carrier" - it's usually fairly lightweight with a handle, and is used from birth up to anywhere from about 6 months to maybe 18 months, depending on your preference, how big your baby is for their age, and the model of seat, as they are slightly different sizes.

The infant carrier seat straps into the car using the seatbelt, or you can buy a base for it which usually attaches using isofix (those are clips in the car designed for attaching child seats, all modern cars have them).

After they grow out of the infant carrier, you usually install a seat in the car which stays in there and just lift the child in and out.

All infant carriers even the cheaper/more basic ones tend to get a very good safety score when tested, the only thing to be aware of is counterfeit seats, which you're unlikely to come across unless you're after a knock off version of a very pricey seat e.g. Doona, or if you're looking at the very cheap "3 in 1" type prams only sold online through tiktok/instagram etc - avoid those.

Unfortunately, it’s not against the law to sell car seats that would be less than useless in a crash

This is not true. Although some of the car seats sold for older children get dubious crash test safety scores, it's not less than useless - any car seat that meets legal regulations, used properly, for the age/weight/etc of child it's designed for, is better than nothing in a crash, and better than the seatbelt alone. Any rear facing seat, again used properly, is highly protective, and all infant carrier seats are rear facing as babies need to travel RF until a minimum of 15 months (but preferably longer than this!)

So you can just get whatever infant car seat comes with your pram, with no worries at all as long as the pram is a proper brand which meets UK regulations, then replace it with a longer lasting one later, and at this stage look more into the safety testing etc.

Or, you can buy the pram and then check what car seat adapters it has - the vast vast majority have the option to use "universal" or multi-brand adapters - if it says it takes Cybex, Nuna or Maxi Cosi these are those. With those you can buy any infant carrier seat from those 3 brands, also Britax, Joie, Avionaut and Besafe and a few other brands go onto those adapters. That means you could buy a cheaper infant carrier than the ones included with the bundle, or you could get one with features you like e.g. longer lasting, or better positioning for newborns or more lightweight for example.

Or, you can get some of the fixed in place seats which are suitable from birth, and not bother with a seat which goes onto the pram at all. Personally, unless you use the car very little, I think it's helpful to have an infant carrier/lift out seat especially when they are tiny, they sleep so much that it's easier not to have to disturb them every time. Plus, the fixed seats often cost about £100 extra to get the version with a newborn insert, and you can get a cheaper infant carrier for less than £100, so it sometimes doesn't make financial sense to do this.

Most prams which work as a travel system tend to be bulky/heavy, and have a fairly small seat, so won't be comfortable to use all the way up to age 3/4 anyway. Most people use the big bulky system for the first year or two and then swap to either a lightweight smaller folding buggy, or a larger forward facing only buggy with a bigger seat, for use with an older child - these don't usually take the lie flat carrycot, and may not take a car seat either.

Baby Bjorn etc - I would recommend looking for a local sling meet/sling library, because there are a range of brands as well as styles of sling and they all work differently. If you can go before your bump is too big this is ideal, but if not then it's still worth going along to chat with people and look at the different types. Personally I loved a stretchy wrap when my DC were tiny and then a soft structured carrier when they were older. Most people don't feel confident using a sling when their baby is literally just born, partially because they are so small and delicate and partially because your body is sore having just given birth, especially if you have a c-section. So you have time after birth to figure this out.

They can totally replace a pram but I think you have to be fairly confident with this and as said - most people aren't, especially with their first baby. But you could definitely get a more basic/cheaper type pram if you think you'll prefer using slings primarily. I used a mix and was happy with this.

I think if the OP was 21 weeks PG in October last year she may be a bit over the newborn stage by now?

You definitely don't need to buy everything before the baby arrives. I found it much easier to focus on the basics initially and then buy things as you actually work out what you need. For sleeping, a Moses basket/bedside crib for the first few months can be useful, and you can get a cot later, although if you already know you'll have more children, it may be worth spending a little more on a good-quality one you'll use for years.

For getting around, I'd personally look at the car seat separately first because safety and fit are more important than having every feature in a travel system. A pram is useful, but a carrier is also brilliant for short trips, and when baby wants to be close, so I wouldn't necessarily see one as a replacement for the other. You also don't need loads of toys initially. A play mat, a few simple toys, some books and things for baby to look at are probably plenty.

The things that seem to disappear incredibly quickly are muslins, nappies and wipes, so I'd make sure you have plenty of those! If you're thinking about reusable diapers, there are options such as SuperBottoms as well, although I'd probably wait until you get a feel for your routine before buying loads. I'd also have a changing mat, spare cot sheets, a thermometer, basic baby toiletries and plenty of easy-to-wash clothes. A baby bath isn't necessarily essential either; some people find a bath support or simply using the normal bath works perfectly well.

Honestly, I'd resist the temptation to buy every gadget suggested by shops. Babies are surprisingly happy with very simple things, and you'll probably get a much better idea of what you actually need once you're home with your baby. NCT is also a good place to ask these questions because you'll hear what other new parents are actually finding useful rather than just what the shops recommend.

Hey there, yeah so a friend of mine had some similar worries about her firstborn and frankly she was pretty overwhelmed with how many “must-have” things everyone seemed to recommend lol!!!

In the end, I’d say keep it practical and focus on the basics first, like a safe cot or crib, enough everyday clothes and muslins, a decent changing setup, and a pram/car seat combination that actually suits your lifestyle.

You don't really need loads of toys straight away....a simple play mat, a few sensory toys and some books are more than enough in those early months...

Also avoid buying too much in advance, especially newborn clothes, because babies can outgrow them ridiculously quickly. They did mention while comparing different options, that Little Canadian was useful for browsing different baby gear and brands in one place without feeling like we had to follow one giant “new baby essentials” checklist. :))

100% get a baby carrier. The Baby Bjorn One is great. My babies didn’t really like the pram for a long time or being put down at all. I think a pram is a good idea to get as well though as when they get bigger they don’t mind being put down as much. I had a travel system but I don’t think it’s necessary really and it was very clunky getting the car seat onto the pram base and used to wake them up anyway. I ended up getting a lightweight buggy that was easy to fold as well when they were a bit older, but I still use the pram if I think they might need a sleep as it’s comfier.
If you don’t like the idea of co-sleeping a next to me style crib is a good idea for the first 6 months…although your baby may have other ideas and may wish to sleep on your boob instead! I found Moses baskets a waste of time as mine never wanted to be put down they were either in bed with me or in the carrier. After that mine skipped the cot and went straight to a cot bed which can be assembled into a toddler bed when they are ready.
For the bath a baby support seat that you put in your bath is a good idea as it can save your back!
And yes to a baby mat with a mobile and a bouncer, both useful when you need to put them down.
They don’t need too many toys at the beginning but a small selection of those crinkly toys they can shake and chew on are always handy.
If you are planning to breastfeed, those silver nipple cups are a god send and really help heal sore nipples.
Good luck x