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Aibu?

1 reply

Fedup360 · 19/10/2025 08:24

I need to know if I’m being unreasonable here

me and my partner both work him full time, me part time. he’s a plumber I work in a supermarket. We have 3 children 10, 5, and 3 our middle child is on the autistic spectrum.

Everyday I get up alone, he’s already gone, I get the kids up and fed and dressed and take them to school, the youngest (3) is with me all day, and she’s going through a threenager stage at the moment. And then I collect the kids too take them home and make dinner, he gets home just in the nick of time for me to not be late to my job, although Friday I had to call my dad to come and watch the kids because he wasn’t gonna make it home in times He’s worked the last 3 Saturdays untill about 2pm this week he said he wasn’t going to and then on Friday evening dropped it on me and actually he was so bang goes our weekend, obviously aswell this means I do pretty much all the housework, I spent all of Friday cleaning and putting away washing. (Just for him to say to me when I got in from work last night at 10pm that our daughter had pulled her whole wardrobe out because he didn’t put the child lock on after getting her PJs) and all her washing is laying on her bedroom floor, I refuse to sort that.

yesterday I had to take the youngest to dance class with all 3 kids. Then go and collect a few parcels and I went and bought all packed lunch stuff for this coming week and came home and made them separated it all into sandwhich bags. My two little ones were kicking off in the shop. He told me he would be home by 1 yesterday, I called him at 1 pm because my daughter had just head butted a man in next because she was having a meltdown to say are you nearly home, of course he hadn’t left yet. I just feel so alone, like we made a family for me to raise by myself.

and then this morning, I’ve got up with the little ones and come downstairs the one day a week we both get off, I worked till 10 last night, we went bed together so have had the same amount of sleep but he ignored all of our youngest requests for cereal and then I got up and I said can you come downstairs and he’s like yeah I’m coming, I go back up half an hour later and he’s snoring. It’s just so bloody frustrating, I get he works hard but so do I. If I didn’t have my own job then fine, but I do and I work untill late at night after not stopping all day either. I feel like because he earns the most his tiredness is more important than mine. He says he wants to earn as much as he can for our up coming wedding, but honestly if it means I’m alone 90% of the time I’d rather cancel it. Before anyone says he has the kids while I’m working, I start at 5 they go to bed at 7 obviously not the 10 year old but the 2 little ones. Saturday I start at 4 so he has them a few hours on a Saturday. It’s not about that anyway, it’s about how he thinks he deserves a lie in on a Sunday but I don’t, when we both work really hard.

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 19/10/2025 09:03

I can feel your frustration coming through your post.

Can you arrange some time alone with him and tell him how you’re feeling?

My DH used to work stupid hours when ours were little and could be selfish at times but would share the lie-ins.

If he’s not got up this morning can he at least take them all to the park for an hour so they you get sone time to yourself?

And can you get the youngest into Nursery? I think you get some funded hours at 3?

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