Little one seems to hate nursery!

[buddygirlnemo]

Hi all, i need a slight vent but mainly advice about nursery.

My daughter is almost 3 and she has just started nursery a month and half ago..
She HATES it, she goes twice a week and she screams and cries at drop off times and then when she is there she doesn’t look overly happy in the photos that they send.

She doesn’t start school until she is 4.5 due to how her birthday falls so i thought from now until then, nursery could be fantastic to help her/give a bit of routine etc..
Now, the only reason i have waited so long to take her to nursery is because i have been home and im lucky to have never needed childcare, i decided to send her because i thought it would be good for her. I have so many friends and their little ones are loving and thriving at nursery, they do so much fun stuff that usually isn’t done at home and i just wanted my girl to be able to have nice opportunities and have a bit of fun/play with kids her own age etc.

I just don’t know what to do, she’s does 6 hours twice a week but ive noticed a difference at home in her behaviour, she is clingy (she never was before, she was a strong independent little monster) she’s stopped sleeping through the night, she wants to be with me and her dad all the time.. it’s almost like it has done the complete opposite to what i thought!

I really don’t need to send her for childcare reasons, i am so close to never taking her back because right now it feels like im upsetting her for absolutely nothing! Her key worker says that she settles down extremely quickly and then she plays/does her activities and she is happy when she is there.. They are so full of praise for her, say she’s so caring and always makes sure the children have their waters full and she helps clean up/loves to cuddle etc, but even now im dreading the week because if i take her the drop off tears are engraved in my head!

I just want to add this nursery is incredible, my friend’s family member owns it, it’s waiting list is full up until 2028 (which is wild because them babies aren’t even here yet!).
I have no concerns/worries about the nursery, it’s just my girls reaction to going which is really upsetting me.. I don’t want to rush into saying no thank you and then her not having a place, i know how lucky i was to be offered one…

Does it get better, has anybody had this before and then their little one suddenly loves nursery?
Or will she always be this sad? Her happiness is all that matters to me.

Thank you so much in advance, and sorry this was all over the place!

The child needs to get used to it. Give it time and it will win her over. Maybe she isnt used to strangers.

Does the school she's going to have a nursery attached?

If it does, I would take her out of this nursery and then put her in to school nursery when she becomes eligible (the September after she turns three).

This will give her a almost another year to mature. It will mean she only needs to settle once rather than go through this now and then struggle with school settling. It will also be five mornings/afternoons a week (usually a three hour session), which will be much better for her routine and settling, it's hard for them to settle on two sessions a week and six hours is a long time.

@NuffSaidSam right now we don’t know which school she is going to be going to..
We are in the process of selling our house but the area we hope to move to has a nursery attached to the school, where we live right now they don’t have one..

I didn’t know that children are eligible to go to the school nursery though, and that the sessions were run like that.. that’s so interesting to know! X

The deadline for applications will usually be December or January so you've got a bit of time to look into it and send in your application if you do want a nursery place for September 2026.

@NuffSaidSam thank you so much, i have already started to have a google!

I really do appreciate you commenting, it does feel like that extra year is going to be massive in her development/maturing and maybe by the time she is old enough to start a school nursery she understands a little bit more, then might not be so upset!

We don’t need nursery as we have childcare covered by me, husband and my mam. Our plan is to put her in school nursery when she turns 3. They do either 5 mornings a week or 5 afternoons. Maybe the full days are too long. Could you try half days instead?

Our DC hated nursery so we took them out (similar situation to you) and started them at the school pre-school at 3. They absolutely loved it. Some kids aren’t suited to nursery. I’d listen to your DD if she isn’t ready or it isn’t the right setting for her.

@ACR7 that’s so similar to me, im lucky to not need it for childcare so taking her out isn’t an issue at all.. she only goes for half days, she has full days booked but i pick her up after lunch so she’s only there 4 hours at most. School nursery when she’s slightly older might be better 🙂

@caffelattetogo that really is reassuring to know, so many people in ‘real life’ are telling me to just ride the storm and she will eventually get used to it, but having her so upset isn’t worth it for me! She’s the happiest, funniest, loving little girl and her confidence has 100% dropped since she started a month ago, plus she is now extra clingy at home which she never was before.
I have emailed the school nursery close to us and i think that’s the route im going to go too.. its really nice to know that your DC loved school nursery when they didn’t like nursery at all! Thank you!