Should I be doing all the wake ups whilst I'm looking for a job?

[sunflowers365]

I don't have a job as I'm between jobs (just moved house, searching for a job to start soon). I do all the night time wake ups for daughter and also all the early starts (you know what toddlers are like!). I'm at breaking point with tiredness from lack of sleep. Do you think it's reasonable for me to ask my husband to do some of the wake ups / early starts, or should I do all of them because I don't currently have a job? I feel too guilty to ask my husband to help, but my tiredness is getting so bad I can barely function.

Just because you're not currently working doesn't mean you dont need the odd lay in! Looking after a toddler - although lovely - is bloody exhausting!

Yes I think you should do it . You have the whole day to recover and do things at your pace. If you are exhausted maybe go to bed earlier . It's not a competition as to who is more tired . Once you get a job and need to be more alert you can renegotiate.

what happens in the day- are you looking after her or is she in childcare? do you get an opportunity for a catch up nap?

but tbh if you are really struggling then regardless i think it’s ok to ask him to do more, if he is not struggling.

You should get at least one decent sleep at the weekend

and sometimes it’s ok to put a movie on and slump - not every week but sometimes

We used to take it in turns at weekends. Still do, our eldest is 15 now.

The devil is in the detail

I think you should do most of them, bit at the weekends you should split the nights and lie ins so you get some rest.

Agree. It’s unsustainable to have permanently broken sleep. There is a reason sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture.. your DP is being lazy/ignorant not picking some up.

It depends if you have the toddler during the day everyday aswell. I think you should do the majority either way but if your getting the days to rest then you should do them all if you have toddler 24/7 then I think its fair he does one of the nights.

Could you nap in the day? If your toddler does?

Why can’t you go to bed earlier?

If my DP was paying for everything (and the stress of being financially responsible for another adult and child) I wouldn’t dream of asking them to do any nights or early mornings.

If you really want a lie in then I’d ask that he does one day on the weekend but more than that is taking the mick.

When you get a job though, he needs to be doing the wake ups too.

it would not be unreasonable for partner to do 1-2 nights a week of the wake ups. You need some decent sleep else you will fall over all together. I did most of the wake ups when my kids were little and I was working full time at the time - he could surely manage one at least!

This