Jekyll and Hyde kids

[Tirednhopeful]

Does anyone else have a kid who is like a different person from the child their teachers describe? Our 7 year old is always described by teachers in glowing terms- really focused, bright and helpful, clearly loves learning etc etc. But at home she says she doesn’t like anything, always whinging about homework, any extra curricular activities or music, reluctant reader, basically doesn’t seem to like anything very much! (That’s not to say that she seems unhappy at home by the way - she loves hanging out with her family and generally playing - just seems to be lazy a LOT!)

Interested to hear if anyone else has this and if it evened out in the end… she’s obviously still little and maybe she’s just tired!

At a recent parents evening my 5 year old was described as a role model who always listens and is super kind. This is the same 5 year old who when his brother said something he didn’t like punched him straight on the nose and said ‘that’s what you get’ 🤦🏼‍♀️

This made me chuckle, thank you! Any advice about reaching more equilibrium?? 😆

@Tirednhopeful no advice I just accept home is his safe space and he can act like a hooligan at home 🤷🏼‍♀️

remember that we all put on a mask to sone extent when we’re not at home. You learn how to behave in different ways and environments. Even as adults we do it. People worry about children doing it but most of the time it’s perfectly normal

Jekyll and Hyde seems not to match your description! It sounds like she is just tired of demands and wants to unwind, which is pretty normal given how intense school can be for little ones.
I think preserve that safe space for her and don't over schedule. We started off trying to pack every weekend and we have soon scaled it back to plan literally nothing or maybe one thing for the weekend.

I think it's quite common for children to present differently to others to how they do at home.

DS1 had it the way round you describe - quite difficult and wearing at home but school and other people's parents have always raved about how polite and hardworking he is. He has naturally mellowed at home as he got older.

DS2 is the opposite in many ways - he can be challenging at home, but generally we get his best side, he can be funny and clever and really thoughtful, whereas at school he is loud, disruptive, unfocused and they can't do anything with him (obv we are working with them to try to sort this out!)

I think when they are down a lot at home it can show you that they are tired out from school - I think lazy is a misnomer and a lot of children who are thought of as lazy are genuinely finding it hard to do the things they are asked to do/thought to be "lazy" about.

You are not alone! My 5 always gets stickers for tidying up in class. I asked the teacher: Are you sure? I don’t remember the last time he was happy to do so at home 😂