7 year old nervous to become big sister, imminently!

[Cocomandarin]

I’m due to have my second baby on Monday. Large age gap due to infertility, this baby is very longed for and the irony is not lost on me that I worried for so long about my daughter not having a sibling!

She is very nervous about it all and has been quiet and grumpy. I’ve tried talking about what’s worrying her to settle her mind a bit but she doesn’t know how to articulate feelings as she’s still only 7, but it’s made me so emotional. She’s said she things like she is worried what the baby will look like and would like me to stay in the hospital with the baby for a long time (lol!) she’s been my world for 7 years and I don’t want her upset or worried.

has anyone had this and what ended up happening? Hormones are all over the place and I just want everybody to be happy 🫣

My dd's were 8 and 9 and ds was 6 when I had another ds. The dd's wanted to help me. We taught them to make cups of tea for me and guests!! And they organised the changing table every night. Dd 8 was a smasher at getting ds to sleep tucked in under her dressing gown!! Both ds's had a fab bond from early on. Now 11 and 17 and still get on..

Put aside wanting everyone to be happy. That's a route to disappointment. She might come around quickly, or she might not. What you want is everyone to feel loved and supported even if they aren't happy. Don't try and convince her that the baby is a good thing, just reassure her and spend time with her and let her know she's still your best big girl. She'll likely be very jealous that you're at home with the interloper while she's at school, so expect some babyish attention seeking behaviour when she gets home. Have food ready to stave off her being hangry and an activity set up ready - cutting and sticking, drawing, castle building with magnatiles and dolls, story time. Anything that shows you've thought about her while she's been out and will also give her direction when she's potentially feeling wobbly.

My DS was 6, nearly 7, when I had my third DS, he was exactly the same. When he was born he wouldn’t look at the baby let alone hold him (I did however have a middle son who loved all this which helped). My third is now one and him and my oldest have the most amazing bond. It took him a while but once DS3 got more interactive their bond really grew. I’d say don’t force it, make sure you have time with your eldest and things don’t change too much for them and they’ll get there in the end. I think with a bigger gap the older sibling doesn’t treat the baby like a toy/doll that younger ones tend too and understand the seriousness of it all.