Year 7 Girls

[Winterlover2020]

Hi, D is 6 weeks into secondary and has settled well. I’m just a bit shocked that the only upset she has has is with her ‘closest’ friend from primary. Been friends for years. Started secondary and walked together with others. Now this friend has been stroppy and not talking to daughter one minute and ignoring her making her feel really rubbish only to turn round the next day like nothing has happened. This has annoyed my D and when she tried to talk to her today she just said I’m upset you’ve hurt me I thought you wanted a break this friend stropped off again in a huff (she is well known for this behaviour and talking to others dating don’t believe D etc) I said to D you’ve stood your ground but maybe just easier to draw a line under it and move on. I feel new friendships are on the horizon but it’s still very new and the break away won’t come yet. It comes across as very immature and a lot of attention seeking and school just said they’d keep an eye on it. Is this normal? Am I doing the right thing by advising her to stand her ground but also not alienate herself (she has reassured me she has other people to talk to etc).

Normal. The friend is 11 so being immature and attention seeking is pretty much in the job description!

Friend is giving signals that she wants to move on. She sounds a pain anyway so no bad thing,

Would advise your Dd to seek out new friends. Anecdotally very few primary friendships endure secondary. Neither of mine are friends with their primary school group. Secondary is a great opportunity for friendship upgrade and to find people more on your wavelength

Yes, it's common, even with boys friendships too. The friendships they have throughout school, up until secondary are solid and suddenly go pear-shaped. It's generally a sign that those friendships have run their course or they won't be so close going forward. Encourage your daughter to make new friendships, and to perhaps gradually step back from this girl. It sounds as if your daughter has stood her ground and is sensible. Her friend sounds immature (as most 11/12 year old girls are) and your daughter is perhaps a little more mature.