I feel so broken by my baby

[Mobh7]

He's nearly 5 months

He screams in the car, he cries in the pram, he used to sleep in the carrier but now cries in that too. The maximum he will go without feeding is 2 hours, but actually I spent about 2/3 of the time with him on a boob. He can't be out down for more than a few minutes. He will stay awake for 5 or 6 hours unless the perfect conditions to sleep are met. He will only sleep pressed against my body. Even then sometimes he feeds for hours at night. He won't nap or will doze for 10 minutes.
I cannot feed side lying or in carrier- it's not anatomically possible at his current size and control and my boobs/ nipples

I have a preschooler too but she was bottle fed and never like this- I looked great, I had a life. I can barely leave the house now other than nursery run. We do things as a family at weekends and just have to roll with it, but I'm dreading half term when I'm going to have to cope every day. Husband is working, does bath and bed with eldest and all laundry / washing up. The house still looks like a bomb hit it and it's getting me down.

I'm on a baby group today- tried setting off for a walk an hour beforehand. He has screamed the whole time and now fallen asleep two minutes before arrival. I know he will wake and scream again as soon as I stop.

Tell me this gets better. I feel awful, not appreciating my lovely baby and how lucky I am

I had a rough first year with my second son. My other son was 20 years old so I had long forgotten what it was like.
But truly, these years are fleeting, you will forget the struggle and in 5 years time you'll be laughing and hugging your little Primary Schooler. You'll be showing him baby pictures and talking about how cute he was as a baby.

I literally hated my life and my self 5 months PP, it was the hardest journey. But you of course come out the other side. My son is 5 now and he is the light of my world, every moment is treasured.

One day at a time for now 💙

It will get better! My eldest was like this. It was actually a bit easier for me because I didn't have a toddler to care for, and also, since she was my oldest, I knew no different (I only realised that babies could be much easier when my second one arrived). But yes, she seemed to be constantly feeding, she slept for about twenty minutes at a time, I had to feed her to sleep and then lower her into her cot and tiptoe out of the room...usually she'd wake up before I even reached the stairs. It's really hard, and I think it was probably at its hardest between four to five months.

Have you tried baby swimming lessons? I found half an hour in the water used to make all of mine sleep afterwards.

In the long term, my difficult baby became my most laid-back, easygoing, uncomplicated child, and she's now at university! So hang in there - I reckon that once you get past six months and baby is taking in decent amounts of solids, things will settle down.

I had an identical Velcro baby, and a preschooler at home - I truly feel your pain. My daughter would never sleep in a buggy, would scream in the car seat. Slept in a carrier but only if I was walking quickly at all times. I was miserable, she was miserable and the school holidays were absolute torture. At night she slept for 40 minute bursts but only if she was sleeping on my chest. I also couldn’t side lie with her as she was a sicky baby and the bed would just end up soaked with baby sick.

it does get better - she is 2.5 and definitely the better sleeper than her 6.5 year old brother! But I can’t say it got better organically, I made the decision to sleep train her at 7 months because the carrier stopped working too. I honestly don’t feel like I bonded with her when I was so sleep deprived and trying to hold it together for everyone. As soon as she started sleeping, I could feel that cloud lifting.

I promise it will get better, and that you are not alone in your experience! I honestly found the transition from 1 to 2 children so so difficult but things are easier now (or a different kind of hard I suppose, because the sass of a 2 year old is not to be underestimated 🫣)

Start him on solids. Honestly. It will help

Oh ... I feel your pain .... I truly do. I can only second what others have said ... this WILL pass. I know it seems unimaginable now but it will.
Confession ... I would go for bottle feeding now .. you have given him a good immune start with all the goodies from the breast milk. If he is feeding so voraciously and so continuously he may simply be a very hungry baby. I know some posters here will throw their hands up at this idea, but so be it.
It will also mean you can pass some of this over to your OH.
I know it feels as though this won't solve his need to be glued to you but if he us full up he might just drop off.
Sending a hand hold.

Would the nursery take him 1-2 days a week to give you a break? You could pick him up at 3 so it's not too long a day. Mine naps for hours at a time at nursery despite barely sleeping at home and learnt to crawl almost instantly because there were more toys further apart. He's a lot less frustrated now he's mobile