DS age 5 playing "One Punch Man" at school 😱

[Zfw798]

I am fuming... My son, aged 5, has tonight told me that he has been playing a game called "One Punch Man" at school. When probed it turns out it is a game based on the anime cartoon which one of the children in his class is allowed to watch. He told me that in the game one child is able to kill others with "one punch" and the other has " daggers they can throw". Not only does this sound incredibly violent but I have no idea how to tackle encouraging him to spend more time with children who are watching and reading more age appropriate material. We are very very careful not to expose DS to anything too gruesome or violent and it is upsetting to think that despite this there are children at school that will share the things that have been exposed to. The same child has before, infront of me, asked my son if he has ever watched the specific horror movies which I know go have 18 ratings.

How do I encourage my son to play with children whose parents are protecting their innocence? Should I mention anything to the school? We are not close with the parent of the other child and don't feel comfortable to go straight to them.

What would you do?

I would let school know. Does the child have older siblings? Even if he does he shouldn’t be seeing this material
This doesn’t sound suitable at all especially being reenacted at school.

If your DS hasn't watched it, then are the playground games any worse than playing power rangers? Or superheroes?

You can't police his classmates viewing habits, even if you let the school know, they can't do anything about home TV habits. All you can do with your DS is talk it through and explain why it's only for older kids.

Just fyi - one punch started off as a cartoon aimed at pre-teens so about 10yo. It's only more recent series that got more violent. I can't say I'd think twice about a 5yo being in the same room while his 10yo sibling was watching a show aimed at them. It sounds like this isn't a one-off concern though which obviously changes things.

The problem isn't really what this boy is watching, but that your son likes this sort of play. It just goes to show that kids are drawn to this sort of stuff. It's like parents who wouldn't dream of letting their children play with toy guns...then find their children using sticks or Lego or their fingers as guns. Kids will find a way to play what they want to play.

There are questions to be answered closer to home. Why does your son like this kind of play? Because it's exciting? Because it's forbidden? Because he has a violent streak? Because he sees similar narratives in other ways...Tom and Jerry or Superhero Stuff or Star Wars? You need to find out why he likes this type of play and go from there.

But I would very much concentrate on your own child and not someone else's.

How do you encourage your son to play with any child? Invite the ones you think are suitable home to play, don’t invite the ones you consider unsuitable.

I have had a similar issue. I spoke to the head and voiced my concerns. In the end they decided to separate my child up from the child in question and things improved. He was watching all sorts of horrible content and telling son, giving him nightmares.

Also as pp, I don’t invite the child on play dates or parties and have told my son why. It’s sad because I don’t really mind the kid, he’s quite sweet in some ways but the school have had to speak to the parents numerous times now about this kind of thing.

You’ll be surprised at your own child, that’s all I’d say

How it is any different to kids playing cops and robbers? Or cowboys? Or watching any cartoon that’s on TV.
Honestly can’t imagine getting worked up over a kid playing.

As pps say, don’t mistake the name of a bad thing for the thing itself. Children playing ‘squid games’ mostly hadn’t watched the programme, they’d just heard the name or a sanitised description.

Conversely all kinds of innocent sounding games could involve violence or bad behaviour.

If the boy is truly sharing disturbing, age-inappropriate content then talk to the teacher. But if he’s just parroting the names of things he thinks sound ‘cool’ that is quite different. You have to accept that other DCs have older siblings, so will have access to different cultural references.

It would be worth having an exploratory chat to the teacher about your son. How’s he doing, how is his behaviour? Who does he play with? He seems to be drawn to children who play violent games, have they noticed, is this a concern? Is he normal in this regard or is his behaviour unusual? anything to worry about or act upon?

Bizarre response.

I don’t think that’s bizarre, I think it’s perceptive. There are always those parents of pfbs who imagine their influence over their child’s development to be far greater than it really is and those who are blind to their own child’s behaviour with others.

Children are very good at playing up to expectations that gain them rewards and hiding behaviours they know would not be welcome.

It’s the foolish parent who thinks little dc’s best behavioural performance is who they really are. Especially if that parent imposes clear standards that may not be the peer-group norm.

You need to see your child in different situations, with different people, where you’re not hovering, to get a sense of what they’re like. Going along on school trips as a parent-helper can be quite eye-opening.