How to do comfort toy at nursery

[Danceshakemove]

DS has not long turned 3 and started nursery 2 months ago. It is not going very well and struggles with the separation anxiety. The nursery staff say he is ok once we leave but he gets extremely upset at drop off and his key worker has suggested bringing a toy in to help with it all. We have a little soft toy keyring that DS likes and said he would like to bring (he said having photos of his family would make him feel sad heartbreaking!) but my question is how do I attach it to him so he won't loose it? I think if he put it down or dropped it that it would make him more upset. I just want to help him to settle and I know he is ready for nursery but drop off is just so heartbreaking and I just want to help him. Any other suggestions would be great, I feel so terrible not being able to help him.

Can you attach it to a belt loop on his trousers?

He always wears joggers as its easier for him to go to the toilet by himself...

My DS was very attached to some foam bath characters for a while at nursery but it was too difficult to manage with them during the day (he insisted on holding five of them at once). He seemed to be okay with leaving them in his bag and it was more just knowing that they were there that helped him rather than anything else. I did stick labels with his name on too in case they wandered off which they did from time to time.

Either take something a bit bigger (it doesn’t have to be his favourite thing to help with the transition) or trust the nursery staff to look after it.

The transition object !!

get a little teddy / soft toy he likes -
get it to smell like you, wear it under your clothes for a few days until nice and wiffy -
let him take that to nursery,
it will be soothing / reassuring
get a back up one in case lost -

Attach to a strap over his shoulders or a wrist band.

I would send a larger and distinctive soft toy - not his very favourite one though! My DS had a similar issue for a while and his comfort toy was put back in the wrong bag which went home with another child. In fairness the nursery took it extremely seriously and hunted it down the same night but it was a very stressful experience which I've never forgotten!

aww op that’s so hard. Mine was hard to settle for a while too. If it absolutely has to be with him then on a hairband on his wrist? Or visible on his bag.

I would actually have 2 identical items like little teddies. One that lives at home and one that lives at nursery. Neither of them can go outside so when he gets to nursery he will want to go in to find his special teddy.

Can you sew a loop on his joggers, and attach the toy with a carabiner clip or similar? Although that also sounds like a recipe for potty/toilet related sadness, so perhaps not unless the loop could go at the side of the trousers such that the toy didn't get in the way of going to the loo.
I'd mainly make sure his name is prominently displayed on the toy. At the preschool where I work, if we asked you to bring in a toy then we'd help your son to put it in his drawer or bag when he's ready. Much easier for everyone if it's got his name on! Sharpie would do. Being able to put the toy in the drawer - and retrieve it whenever he needs it - would be part of helping your son to settle. Then you'll be able to build up to leaving the toy with you at drop-off, then leaving the toy at home. Good luck!

Thanks everyone for replying, it's really helpful and appreciate the moral support - its brutal! The keyring teddy is about 12cm so not crazy small but was wondering for those of you who said a bigger toy, how big would you go?

Not too big for a little hand to carry around, wipe his nose on, and generally keep him company during the day !!