Two under two routines for a mad house

[totheskytothewest]

Howwwwww are you all getting your sleep averse newborn/toddler combo to sleep?! Bonus points if you can give me pointers for how to manage on my own when my husband is on night shifts!

Seven week old has reflux and 23 month old has suddenly developed separation anxiety after sleeping perfectly for the past year. I don't know how to handle bedtime without them both screaming and sending me spiraling for hours on end. Currently over two hours into tonight's shift - tears from all three of us, vomiting from both DDs (7w from reflux, 23m from crying), and sheer panic that I will never sleep again from one sleep-deprived mum. Advice welcome!!

In that situation I would have all of you in your bed. Toddler next to you to read stories to, baby either feeding or upright on your chest. Bring headphones and an audio book or iPad to watch something once they are dozing. And eat before you start bedtime!

100% cosleep with all children! Cuddles for toddler and either nurse or lay baby upward on your chest. Hopefully a bit of rest.

So sorry you're dealing with it.

I have a 4m old and 20m old, nap times are HARD! We have a double mattress on the floor in DD’s room, when my 4m old was 7w I would get both of them into the room DD in the bed DS on my boob until he fell asleep (I’d be laying in the bed next to DD) then pop him in the bassinet of his pram that was next to the bed (much easier to move around the house than his crib) and focus on getting DD to sleep. When DS refused to go down I’d just keep him laying on my chest whilst playing baby sleep music for DD until she fell asleep. I’d then hopefully fall asleep next to DD in the bed and once DS wakes I’d just take him into my room as to not wake her. Now he’s a bit older I will feed him to sleep downstairs pop him upstairs once asleep and hope and pray he doesn’t wake whilst getting DD to sleep! I’m lucky that DH is always home for bed time so he takes DD I take DS, if he wasn’t I would 100% be co-sleeping with both

Thanks all, I've never co-slept before but I'm willing to give anything a try! Do you find that the baby waking in the night disturbs the toddler?

Having said that I'm currently over an hour into a 2.30 wake from both of them- how wonderful that their routines have synced!

(Eventually managed to get toddler to sleep earlier by sitting outside her open door with baby in the sling, but not sustainable all through the night sadly)

If baby would sleep in a sling could you pop them in that whilst you get your toddler to bed and then try and transfer them? Otherwise yes, just all in the bed!

That is so rough, I feel your pain. Currently chugging coffee after several wakes from my 5 month old and then my 23 month old screaming at 6am 🫠

My baby also has reflux and my toddler has developed separation anxiety. Now both have colds. Again. It’s a living hell.

When doing bedtime on my own, I’ll breastfeed my baby whilst reading a bedtime story to my toddler. Once fed, baby tends to pass out and if he doesn’t, he’s quite content to roll around on his brothers bedroom floor whilst I soothe his brother. Though as you can imagine, that does mean an episode of reflux and an outfit change afterwards! Ideally, I get my baby to sleep first. If he’s still wide awake and in a good mood, I’ll pop him on his playmat in the next room whilst I sort out the toddler tyrant. Other times it goes completely to shit and everyone’s crying, I end up overstimulated and cursing my husband under my breath.

It’s definitely easier when there’s two of you, especially in the newborn days. But it does get easier as your baby starts to be interested in the world around them. You can put them down to play etc.

I just keep reminding myself that this is not forever. In the grand scheme of things, this will be like 1% of their lives so I can get through this as it WILL end.

Cosleeping with my 15 month old and a newborn saved my sanity and 7 years later, we’re still at it (cosleeping that is). I wouldn’t have it any other way. Go easy on yourself.

Well I’m a single parent of 3 including twins - have been since they were babies and also worked full time since they were 4 months old…..I just do what I have to to function - if that means co sleeping, all 3 kids in the bed or even on the sofa if one can’t sleep then so Be it. When boy twin started having split nights where’d wake at 1am and be wide awake for 3 hours I’d stick the tv on in my room with his favourite film and go back to sleep