Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Car seats - how long did you rear face your child for?

101 replies

ShutterHaze · 12/10/2025 11:32

I know a lot of people say “as long as possible”, but interested to hear what people have done in practice!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
FamilyAreEverything · 12/10/2025 18:31

Almost 7 and a half in a BeSafe Stretch. But I recognise that we were fortunate to be able to afford a car big enough to comfortably fit this seat in, and also afford the seat itself. I don’t judge any parent on the direction they choose to face their child, although I do smile when I see a child in an ERF seat, which is rare.

I do judge parents who choose to travel with their children in no car seats at all, especially the parent I see at school pick up and drop off everyday who has their Year 1 child in the front seat with no car seat.

JustAnotherMinionForAMerchantOfDeath · 12/10/2025 19:33

MumoftwoNC · 12/10/2025 16:44

Terrifying seems a really strong word for the difference in severity from FF to RF in a car. You're still protected by all the other safety features of the car like the crumple zone, anti lock brakes, the solid frame, anti collision systems etc etc.

Genuine question, do you find people cycling on the road with a baby/toddler on their bike "terrifying"?

Because that'd be a much more severe crash, in the unlikely event of a crash, than a forward facing 5 point harness seat inside a car. There are none of the safety features of a car, but you're on the road with other cars.

Where I live, South london, lots and lots of people do the school run with their kids on a bike, including small toddlers.

And yet none of them seem to attract the same safety-related-disapproval of FF car seats.

I'm not having a go, I just find it really interesting.

Show quote history

Internal decapitation is significantly less likely on a push bike

pavementangel · 12/10/2025 19:37

4.5 and youngest is still rf at 2.5, she's much more petite than my first so will likely last longer in the seat

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
Mauvehoodie · 12/10/2025 19:39

Around 3, way earlier than planned especially as I had bought an extended rear facing expensive car seat and wanted to rear face till 6 ish. She just screamed to the point where it was affecting my driving. I’m sure people will say “well would you let her jump out of a window if she was screaming?” As they have on other threads. It’s different though when you have to get to places and the crying is affecting safety in terms of distracting your driving. It’s a tough one. I’d say do it as long as you possibly can 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Leopardspota · 12/10/2025 19:43

2.5. She could wriggle her arms out even the tightest straps and was desperately craning her head round to see out of the front. it was safer to turn her round.

TheLette · 12/10/2025 19:47

7.5! My daughter was around average height, slightly under average weight but not noticeably so. We actually could have continued for longer based on her weight but the straps were getting a little tight.

My youngest is very nearly 5 and we seem to have stopped RF already - am a bit miffed about this but she gets really bad car sickness which allegedly is nothing to do with the direction of travel but she is never sick when FF. Was constantly getting caught out by it and having to buy new clothes for her / clean the seat etc, plus she got very upset. We had to use FF seats on holiday and my partner never switched them back. I am ok with it (she is a good weight and height for it and sits very sensibly) but I do wish she was RF still.

I really recommend an Axkid Minikid; those are the ERF seats we had. Straps are easy to do up and I never worried about safety / getting the right fit.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 12/10/2025 19:50

About 18m tbh...

We arent belting down motorways at 90 much.... mostly.stuck in teaffic doing 10-15 so im fine with the judgement

MrsKateColumbo · 12/10/2025 19:58

DS is getting a HBB next week age 7.5, I've found it very convenient as I often park in tight spaces and only need to open the door a crack for him to get in, I need to open it a lot wider for the HBB.

I dont worry/give thought to what anyone else does

I think DS will miss being able to have nice motorway naps on long journeys haha

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/10/2025 19:59

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 12/10/2025 11:38

Until 5. Both above average height children in a small car.

What car seat allowed this?

autumnevenings25 · 12/10/2025 20:05

about 18 months old. Honestly I think it’s a point of performance parenting to compete how old some people kids are that they rear faced until. They are the sort of parents who only ever use the car for the school run and barely go over 20mph either

i have twins and a small ish car. ERF seats are expensive and take up a lot of space. It’s not illegal to face forward when a child reaches the required weight/height and you shouldn’t feel judged if you make that decision

peakedat40 · 12/10/2025 20:06

Eighteen months for both. Everyone in RL did too; it’s only online I experience children facing backwards for any length of time.

nellly · 12/10/2025 20:10

DanceDanceRevolutions · 12/10/2025 12:29

Mine were both 4. The perfect age to get told they were far too old already by people who hate rear facing, and told I’m an awful mother by rear facing purists

Ha ha! Very nicely put.

Mine were both 9 months. It was the norm. Prepared to be told what a terrible parent I am.

Everyone does the best they can with the information they have at the time I think.

I have three with large gaps (oldest 18 youngest 4) and for longer with each one and the information became clearer and more widely known about how important it was.

Superscientist · 12/10/2025 20:14

I see a few people mentioning motorways. Motorways are safer than rural roads. Accidents on motorways usually are due to not leaving adequate braking distance so are whilst cars are braking so at lower speeds than the maximum. They are also one directional you don't get head on collisions which are the most dangerous.
Accidents on rural roads are more commonly are whilst cars are accelerating and there's a greater risk of head on collisions. This is more pronounced on rural roads Vs urban roads where you might get cars recklessly overtaking cyclists or slow moving farm vehicles.

Strop · 12/10/2025 22:51

Superscientist · 12/10/2025 20:14

I see a few people mentioning motorways. Motorways are safer than rural roads. Accidents on motorways usually are due to not leaving adequate braking distance so are whilst cars are braking so at lower speeds than the maximum. They are also one directional you don't get head on collisions which are the most dangerous.
Accidents on rural roads are more commonly are whilst cars are accelerating and there's a greater risk of head on collisions. This is more pronounced on rural roads Vs urban roads where you might get cars recklessly overtaking cyclists or slow moving farm vehicles.

I think you can make judgements about the roads around you though. I don't think many people would think the A9 through rural Scotland is safer than the M8, given the number of lives it claims. But you might have the option of slower and quieter roads instead of a motorway or even driving through town in which case the odds of a crash might be higher but the consequences less likely to be catastrophic. It's an interesting point you make though about the general safety levels of motorway Vs not and worth thinking about.

Esssa · 13/10/2025 10:24

ShutterHaze · 12/10/2025 13:10

@Esssa Can I ask what brand spin seat you have and whether you’d recommends please?

Edited

I have the Joie ispin and I do like it. Even if I have to buy erf afterwards it was worth it for convenience. We have car picnics pretty frequently and being able to spin the kids forward facing while we are parked is great. I will miss the flexibility once we are using a erf seat.

BarnacleBeasley · 13/10/2025 10:32

DS aged 4 is quite tall, so I don't think he'll last much beyond 6 in his ERF seat. Only one of his friends at nursery still rear faces though.

Like a PP, I'm fairly pragmatic about this. I don't see why I wouldn't rear face my children in the cars they spend most time in, since they don't get car sick and it's overall safer for them. But I wouldn't be precious about the cheaper forward-facing car seat they go in on occasional visits to their granny, or a hire car on holiday.

caffelattetogo · 13/10/2025 10:50

6

DC555 · 13/10/2025 16:04

My DS was turned FF at 2 and I don’t know anyone at all in real life who did it for any longer than this. When his sister was born he started asking to be rear facing again which I allowed as his seat was a spinning one (he was 3 by this point), but then he started getting car sick so we went back to forward facing. I will try and keep DD backwards for a bit longer, but given how keen she already is to look out of the window at 10 months I think she might have something to say about it!

mamagogo1 · 13/10/2025 16:37

2, they were small. They hadn’t invented extended rear facing - most dc turned at 9 months to a year then

welshweasel · 13/10/2025 16:38

Both mine were 4

Superscientist · 13/10/2025 17:20

Strop · 12/10/2025 22:51

I think you can make judgements about the roads around you though. I don't think many people would think the A9 through rural Scotland is safer than the M8, given the number of lives it claims. But you might have the option of slower and quieter roads instead of a motorway or even driving through town in which case the odds of a crash might be higher but the consequences less likely to be catastrophic. It's an interesting point you make though about the general safety levels of motorway Vs not and worth thinking about.

Edited
Show quote history

Yes you absolutely assess your individual roads. We are on the edge of the peak District and I've seen some really reckless driving. I would take the A roads or motorways over them any day if I could.

Whilst I did some quick reading to make sure I wasn't misremembering facts I found that roundabout are safer than regular junctions. Rates of accidents aren't too dissimilar but the point of collision is different you get more shunts and t bone accidents on junctions where are on roundabout it's two sides of car colliding which is lower impact and doesn't have the same risks.

It's all quite fascinating when you start looking into it ... Maybe I'm a bit geeky from that aspect!

InMyShowgirlEra · 13/10/2025 17:35

DD was 5 when she hit 18kg so we turned her around then. If she'd been 3 or 4, I'd have invested in a 25kg ERF seat but I thought 5 was OK.

elliesmummy19 · 13/10/2025 17:40

My daughter is 6 years and 3 months and we’re still rear facing. Plan to for a while yet (she’s quite short and small)

autienotnaughty · 13/10/2025 17:53

My elder two were around a year (now in their twenties) youngest we did till four when he started to get too big for his seat. Now having researched further I would go til seven.

BabyToothbrush · 13/10/2025 22:06

ShutterHaze · 12/10/2025 12:42

I think that’s what I’m finding hard to figure out. I feel like online the norm is much older than “average”, which makes it hard to ascertain what’s best. Did you have to get a new car seat to change from RF to FF? Need to get a new car sear for my almost 3 year old. Still want them to be RF but not sure how long they will be doing that for. The internet makes me feel like it’ll be for another few years, whereas I don’t know whether to just get something that will last for a year or so then reassess…

Show quote history

We bought a new car seat when we moved DC1 FF but that was only because DC2 had outgrown their infant seat. So DC2 went into what was first DC1's car seat, and we bought a HBB for DC1. If that hadn't have been the case, then we would have just moved their original car seat FF, which is what we did for DC2 when we moved them FF. At 4 they have also now just moved into a HBB themselves but only because DC3 has outgrown the infant seat so has gone in what was DC2's car seat.