Daugters boyfriend

[petal854]

Hi. My daughter is 15 and wants to take her boyfriend to just sit in her room and I’ve said no. Am I being unreasonable

Why would it be unreasonable?

I would allow it but with the door half open and I would make sure to walk past several times and maybe pop in to get snacks later. Of course they don't want to sit downstairs with you it doesn't necessarily mean they want to have sex.

Let them - but with the door open

Is she on contraception?

All the above.

When i was 14 i begged my parents to allow by BF to 'just sit with me' upstairs.

We did everything except actual sex and then one eve my parents popped out for half an hour and my virginity well and truly left the building ...

No

Get her on the pill or better still get the implant.

Better to acknowledge it's going to happen some how somewhere soon and be safe.

OP you must talk to her about contraception and consent.

Don't keep your head in the sand, thinking she won't have sex. She's 15 and she absolutely will have sex.

Talk to her about contraception, consent etc. If bf's parents allow them to be alone then she may already be sexually active. It's fine to say no but that ship may have sailed.

Ooh, tricky. I would suggest you giving them the sitting room to themselves and you going into a different room if she'll do that. if not, I would concentrate on her side of things because let's face it, if they want to go further they will, they'll just go somewhere else. A good but respectful chat with her about relationship/sex/consequences stuff, exploring all the possibilities (like if he wants to but she's not ready) and see how she feels about it all. Education is the most important here IMO. But at 15, I think it's ok to ask the room door to be left ajar

Ah yes I had assumed when I posted that by 15 the safe sex and consent talks had already been had but if they haven't definitely have them before allowing them in her room together and not in a rush today while he is in the other room.

If you are the house where they aren't allowed to be alone together and his is the house where they are which house do you think they will choose the go to? I would far rather my child be in my house where they could easily come to me for help if they felt anything was happening they weren't comfortable with.

I wouldn’t tbh - I was allowed my boyfriend to “just hang out” in my room when I was 17, the door was ajar and my parents downstairs but we still got up to all sorts in there 😳
I would say no until she’s a bit older

As long as you were a consenting participant then I can't see the problem. Of course we all want our children to be safe and make sensible decisions but the age of consent is 16 and yet a lot of people on Mumsnet seem determined no one should lose their virginity until they are in their late teens or preferably early 20s and living outside the family home.