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Parenting

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Normal 4 year old behaviour?

6 replies

Ppjr2019 · 09/10/2025 11:29

I’m looking for some advice on whether my 4-year-old son’s behaviour is typical for his age, or if it may be related to sensory processing issues or ADHD. I’m considering contacting my health visitor to share my concerns, but I wanted to get some guidance first on whether his behaviour might warrant further assessment.

• demonstrates significantly advanced gross motor skills for his age. • Frequently engages in climbing activities — observed at home, nursery, and other environments. • Regularly jumps from heights or furniture without hesitation or fear. • Capable of performing front flips on furniture (e.g., sofa). • Frequently climbs banisters and jumps off gates, including at nursery. • Constantly active — running, skipping, hopping both indoors and in public spaces. • Uses displays or structures (e.g., shop stands) to jump from when out in public. • Bedtime routines are disrupted by physical activity such as jumping and climbing on furniture. • Always prefers to be physically in motion, often walking by running or hopping. • Strong interest in sensory stimuli — enjoys fidget spinners, squishy toys, and tactile play. • Frequently chews on clothing, occasionally soft toys, and various objects. • Exhibits food-related sensory preferences, particularly enjoys strong or sour tastes such as lemons and limes. • Tends to seek out enclosed spaces — will often sit under tables in public settings. • Shows preference for specific routines and items at mealtimes (e.g., specific plates and cutlery). • Often exhibits dominant behaviour and insists on being in charge during play (“has to be the boss”). • Very competitive in nature. • Displays strong leadership preferences consistently wants to be at the front of the line at nursery. • is very shut off, shy and quiet in unfamiliar social settings or around strangers. • Can be physically assertive with other children, especially younger peers — often gets very close to their faces, moves them physically, or attempts to pick them up. • Shows limited awareness of personal boundaries. • Has demonstrated physical aggression toward his sibling, especially during moments of frustration. • Occasional physical outbursts toward parents, particularly when angry. • May hit other children at nursery, sometimes due to anger, or without a clear trigger (e.g., for fun or spontaneously). • Demonstrates difficulty sharing. • Frequently takes items from nursery without permission. • expresses anger physically (e.g., hitting, spitting on the floor). • Enjoys pushing boundaries or engaging in “naughty” behaviour. • Displays a need for control. • Displays a tendency to hoard or collect objects (e.g., conkers, rocks, small toys), often carrying them throughout the day in pockets. • Shows impulsive behaviours (e.g., running past peers and hitting them, jumping off objects unexpectedly). • Transition to bedtime is often prolonged, with frequent excuses and extended periods of play before settling.

OP posts:
QforCucumber · 09/10/2025 12:05

Sounds exactly like my now 9 year old was at the same age, he's always been very physical - Always joked he needed 2 good walks a day like a dog to wear him out.
Now at 9 he does karate 3 times a week, swims twice a week, is always playing football in the garden or on the trampoline, den building and running around, when he gets frustrated he needs something physical to turn that anger or cross energy to.

Ds2 is a completely different child, prefers quiet and calm, is always by your side, likes to snuggle when he's sad.

They just have the most opposing personalities I'd never have believed it if someone told me that would be the case when they were small.

Ppjr2019 · 09/10/2025 12:17

QforCucumber · 09/10/2025 12:05

Sounds exactly like my now 9 year old was at the same age, he's always been very physical - Always joked he needed 2 good walks a day like a dog to wear him out.
Now at 9 he does karate 3 times a week, swims twice a week, is always playing football in the garden or on the trampoline, den building and running around, when he gets frustrated he needs something physical to turn that anger or cross energy to.

Ds2 is a completely different child, prefers quiet and calm, is always by your side, likes to snuggle when he's sad.

They just have the most opposing personalities I'd never have believed it if someone told me that would be the case when they were small.

Thanks for your reply 🙂 did your son get a diagnosis for anything?

OP posts:
RedSkyatNight25 · 09/10/2025 12:19

Some of these my DS of the same age does but not all, all the time.

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QforCucumber · 09/10/2025 13:04

no, we've never tried to get him diagnosed with anything

coxesorangepippin · 09/10/2025 14:03

I cannot believe the amount of people in here chasing a diagnosis

He's four! Of course he's energetic!

friendsDisUnited · 09/10/2025 14:08

It does sound like his need for activity is a bit extreme. What do nursery think, they see lots of children his age so are best placed to advise.

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