Best age gap between children

[littleoldme]

What do you think is the optimum age gap to have between children.

I've got a six month old and am thinking maybe...

4 years has been the best gap for me - close enough that they can play together, long enough that you're not dealing with toddler tantrums and a newborn simultaneously. My first 2 were born within 2 years and it was hell.

I have thirteen months between mine. It is very hard work, but it does seem to be getting a little easier as they now play together very well, and my 3 year old translates what my 2 year old is saying. THe older one also looks after the younger one, ie will hold his hand, or get him a wet wipe and wipe his face. Actually, he's 3 going on 33.

I have 2 years between my two my then 2yr old was excellent with newborn. As they have got bigger they play together. Good age gap. Am pregnant again and will have 2 year gap.

I have a small gap too - 15 months. It is not easy at first but now I love the way they get on together and the fact I am coming out of the baby years so much quicker than my other friends. My boys are now 2 and 3 and are great together we have a great family life and despite DS2 being a surprise I would not change anything about us now.

3 minutes between mine and they hate each other at the moment

First gap was just over 2y, second gap was just under 4y. I found the second pg and baby much easier than the 3rd, as no1 was still in nappies, taking afternoon naps, and was still very much a baby. Also, although he was at nursery part-time, there was no urgency to pick him up or collect him precisely on time, and I could sit in the nursery office and feed the baby. The 3rd was (and is) much tougher, as I have no lee-way with the school-runs, and for his first year I had 3 or 4 school-runs most days. It was veyr difficult to get him into a routine, as I was always having to drag him off somewhere after the other two.

This is really useful - thanks. it seems there are plenty of pos and cons whatever you do.

I had 17 months between my two and its been fab, the best gap by far I'd say! Its close enough for them to play together and have common interests, but you still have had a nice period of time with the eldest on their own. And having both of them still nap during the day means you get a rest as well!

Go for it I say! (btw my eldest DD was 9 months old when I got my BFP)

I've got exactly 2 years between mine, and lots of people say, "oh, that's a nice age gap" - not sure what planet they are from, as I think it is a v tricky gap. Tons of nappies, DS1 smack in the middle of the terrible 2s...

I have a friend who has a 16-month gap and although I know she found it hard work, she said that as far as possible she tried to treat her DCs like twins, and they were both definitely babies, so that the older one wasn't so aware of having been displaced as the only one. My SIL has a 4-year gap, and her oldest has adjusted really well, as he is more rational etc than my 2yo DS1.

If I have another I'd be looking at either a much smaller or larger gap than 2 years.

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