4 year old

[MissJade27]

Hi all

In desperate need of some help. 4 year old has turned into a completely different child since starting reception 4/5 weeks ago. His first 2 weeks went better than expected, but he has since had 2 episodes of refusing to get changed for school resulting in lateness and he wont tell us what is wrong. We have asked over and over again but nothing. He just makes moaning noises and throws temper tantrums, hitting and smacking if we ask him to do anything, especially at bedtime. He says he hates me. He was such a funny happy boy before. I can't take him to school everyday due to work so DH, mom and mother in law take turns in week, and I do two days. He has generally been fine when I take him but kicks off for everyone else. Teacher says hes fine when hes there and acting no different. He has been in nursery with most of the children in his class so very familiar with them. He talks about his friends so im unsure what is going on. He is just constantly tired and in a bad mood. Im just at my wits end i dont know how to help him and find myself getting frustrated because I cant help fix this for him. Its so upsetting.

Any advise or have any of your kids been through this and come out the other side? The only advise i seem to get online is to pull him out and home school him which is just not practical I have to work and I want him to be happy and enjoy learning and being with friends.

Please help

Fundamentally he's knackered. My little one is the same age as yours and we have to bring bedtime forward to 6pm a couple of times a week. We do it on days when he's particularly emotional. It does seem to help reset him.

School is exhausting and they take a while to get used to it. It's exciting at first and then the novelty wears off and they're just knackered. Power through and bring bedtime forwards, he'll get used to it.

Be understanding of the reasoning behind his behaviour, but don't tolerate it. If he's refusing to get dressed, I'd take him in his pyjamas. If he hits, he gets a consequence. Power through that too.

It sucks, I'm sorry. But it's very normal and definitely not a sign you should be homeschooling.

Yes both my boys were very difficult at this age and during Reception until half way through year 1 when something sort of clicked into place. Both were happy at nursery too. It is kind of a matter of riding it out unfortunately and sticking to the course. Definitely nooooo on the homeschooling...you're in charge! Things that seemed to result in a calmer morning but probably not everyone will agree- Get the uniform on asap, as soon as they wake up if you can. Encourage uniform and breakfast before relax, TV or whatever you let them play with in the morning. We had a routine of a jelly bean for being good putting shoes on, one half way to school and one when they get to school. I realise wholeheartedly this isn't professional advice but it got to the point where I needed some sort of bribe and it took the edge off of these hard days. If they're not good they didn't get one but could 'earn it back' by showing me they could be better. They both started liking school once the challenge of writing was over and they got stuck into topic work which sparked their imagination. I think the writing, phonics etc was both challenging, frustrating and dry but once they got a grasp of this they started coming home telling me about real life history or geography stuff they'd learned and it got a lot easier from then on out with the exception of a few whiney days.