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Parenting

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Original poster

What do you do when another child and his mother says your child has something of his?

24 replies

saltire · 04/06/2008 08:55

and your child says he hasn't?
DS1 borrowed a game from a friend his. According to the friend and his mother the box had 2 games in it - the one DS1 thought he was borrowing, plus another. According to Ds1 though, there was only 1 game in the box.
WE - DH, the DSes and I tidied their room last night and there is definately no sign of the game. The boy came round last night while I was out and DH told him that we didn't have it. SO then his mother turned up and said that the game had been in the box, and we had lost it so could buy him a new one!.
DS1 is really upset, and is thinking that we don't believe him

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2point4kids · 04/06/2008 09:01

If you believe your Ds (and it sounds like he is genuine and that you do believe him) then I'd say to the other parent 'There really was only the one game in there when we got it. Please could you checkcarefully at home in case its somewhere else?' if they cant find it and insist you buy another one then i'd buy another one (ebay?) for the sake of the friendship and suggest thst the new game is one for the boys to share...

foofi · 04/06/2008 09:04

What a horrible situation. Don't know where you should go from here, but in future I wouldn't let them lend and borrow games as things like this always happen!

stuffedaubergine · 04/06/2008 09:06

I would say sorry but there was only one game in there.. honestly can you imagine your son lying and stealing it? I'm sure you can't. It's a shame for the other kid but you just have to be up front and say no, you're wrong. (with a smile?)

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ConnorTraceptive · 04/06/2008 09:09

Tough one, but a lesson for perhaps to not allow her son to lone out expensive games.

If you want to remain friends could you offer to go halves?

Original poster

saltire · 04/06/2008 09:10

foofi - DH ahs said the same thing. Unfortunatle the mother isn't the kind to let it lie, plus she has been quite rude to me about my DSes on a couple of occasions recently.

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2point4kids · 04/06/2008 09:13

If she is rude then dont worry about saving the friendship! Stick to your guns 'i'm sorry but there was ONE game there, please look again at your house' and dont buy a new one!

theyoungvisiter · 04/06/2008 09:14

hmmm she sounds a bit mad. We were taught as kids that you only loaned out stuff that you didn't mind losing!

How much is the game if you don't mind my asking? If it's only a few quid I'd probably buy another one, regardless of the rights and wrongs, just to keep the peace. But reassure your DS behind the scenes that you believe him and trust him.

If it cost more than you can afford then I think stick to your guns and just say "I'm sorry - there was definitely only one game in the box but just to reassure you we have combed the house and there's no sign of it anyway."

Original poster

saltire · 04/06/2008 09:15

I'm not friends with the mother at all, it's the DSes and her DS that are freinds. TBH the mother scares the life out of me. I don't like some of her ways, but will no doubt get crticised for saying that.

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UniversallyChallenged · 04/06/2008 09:23

I would just buy a replacement game tbh I hate someone feeling they have something over me- then when the original one turns up in her house she will -hopefully- have the good manners to apologise and give you the game or the money back. If she doesnt ever find it then you have done the right thing and can feel smug pleased she has no hold over you!

stuffedaubergine · 04/06/2008 09:27

Sorry but I must admit if she is unpleasant to you and has been in the past I would not cave. I would say, "I'm sorry but my little boy wouldn't tell a lie like that and I don't appreciate you telling me he has. I think you've made a mistake."

tigermoth · 04/06/2008 09:41

Any good saying to the mother, 'can we wait a week or two to see if it turns up?

From what you say, I am sure your ds has not got it, so it's likely the other boy has it at home. With a bit of luck someone will find it given time.

That saves you money and avoids a confrontation.

If, after two weeks, the mother still insists your son must have it, buy a second hand one if it is cheap. If it is an expensive game and you don't like the woman (and don't mind your son losing the boys as friends) then stick to your guns and don't pay.

jammi · 04/06/2008 10:46

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

saltire · 14/06/2008 19:16

Update - the mother turned up today with a recept for the game, costing about £35 and saying she had bought a new one and wants us to pay for it.
I refused and said that if DS1 had lost the game, then I would gladly pay for it, but since both DH and I had been through the bedroom looking for it and we couldn't find it then were sure it wasn't in the house and therefore not paying for replacement

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AnyFuleKno · 14/06/2008 19:45

cheeky moo! I think it's out of order for her to buy a brand new game and charge you for it when you could have replaced it with a second hand one (like for like!). That's if you did replace it which I personally wouldn't. I agree with jammi - say that you don't get involved as it's between the kids.

Ambi · 14/06/2008 19:57

That is really cheeky.
Tell her that the replacement purchased sounds like an admission of guilt on her part and therefore you won't be paying for it, but your son has £1.32 in his piggy bank if she wants him to pay for her missunderstanding.
OK so that probably won't help at all, but I can't believe the cheek of some people.

Original poster

saltire · 15/06/2008 17:52

I have found out today that the child in question has DS2's transformers game, which he bought with his birthday moeny. He is refusing to give it back until DS1 either "admits he ahs my Fifa07 and gives it back, or gives us the money for the new one".
I was tmepted to say that in that case it was stealing and I would call the police

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madamez · 15/06/2008 17:59

If the other child is behaving like this then i think the friendship is beyond repair. Your poor DS.

windygalestoday · 15/06/2008 18:06

thats awful

Original poster

saltire · 15/06/2008 18:11

He does still call ont eh DSes, although DH and I have said they should try and avoid the child, as he is always telling tales. I posted a thread a while ago about how DS1 had called the child gay - which he uses as an insult, as most of the children round here do- and he came and complained about it, whilst letting the ring tone on his phone play a tune with teh words C*t, F*k and wankers on it, which his mother had put on his phone. He threw a football at DS1s face and bruised it, yet when DS1 hit him back - yes I knw I've been told already my son deserves what he gets if he hits people - and the mother came round and screamed at DS1, while he was in our garden. She has stood and called my 2 little shits and bullies, again on the doorstep.
So I actually think a lot of this is coming from the mother, after what she has said to me the past few days.
I know though that the PS2 game isn't in this house, i gutted the DSes room and never found it.

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Rachmumoftwo · 15/06/2008 18:13

They sound like adult words coming from a child's mouth. Keep away from this family, they will be no end of trouble, and help your DS make new friends. A valuable lesson about borrowing stuff leading to trouble, methinks.

TheTeaspoonLady · 15/06/2008 18:15

Wow - do you think the mother of the other boy knows that he has taken the Transformers game from your DS?

That is appalling.

If she does know, and won't give it back, it might be worth a quick phone call to the local police station for a bit of advice about what to do next.

They can't be allowed to behave like that.

And the fact that she has stood and called your children names is dreadful.

What a horrible situation for your family, saltire.

micci25 · 15/06/2008 18:16

personally i think it is the mothers fault. if my dd loans anything out i always check the box first in front of the parent of the other child and make it clear that they are responsible for whatever it is that is being borrowed not the dc. and if dd decides to loan things out without my permission and they are lost then she is held responsible. i do mention to the other parent that the item is missing but i never demand another

she should have had sense to do this in the first place and it would have saved every one all the hassle.

im sure if the game will turn up and also dp wants fifa 08 on wii and so i know for a fact that you can get fifa 07 a lot cheaper than £35 if you look.

Rachmumoftwo · 15/06/2008 18:25

Did you check the date on the receipt? It may have been for the original game.

Tortington · 15/06/2008 18:33

no matter what console it ranges from arounf £5 to £10 on ebay

i would deffo call on her for your son birthday game and say to her that if she doesn't return it you will call the police.

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