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Original poster

At my wits end! Can’t seem to watch a film together

27 replies

TheNaturalBronde · 04/10/2025 21:12

Hey everyone,

As the title suggests im at a loss as to rectify this issue, we can’t seem to watch a film as a whole family without there being lots of disruption, arguing, bickering and just generally being really horrible and stressful,

theres 5 of us, when it’s 4 or less and generally either me of DH with the kids behaviour watching the film is so much better,

I can’t really see why, any advice or experience overcoming this would be much appreciated, I just want to have a movie night with the family without anyone being excluded, felt very sorry for my DH tonight, tried his best but behaviour completely nosedived. But the nights if it’s just one of us a lot better.

any help appreciated

OP posts:
Implodingyourmirage · 04/10/2025 21:23

Why do you actually all have to watch a film together?
If it's not enjoyable then don't force it.

pteromum · 04/10/2025 21:27

What’s the kids ages?

If they are calm with just one of you go with that?

it could be if that’s an unusual event they fight with excitement.

DH is very rarely here for this type of stuff. I don’t think we have ever attempted a family film (four under 7). but he will happily (snooze) with them or three of them and I can do some one on one time cooking or crafts with the other.

Original poster
TheNaturalBronde · 04/10/2025 21:51

So it was a Pixar film that we had watched the previous night

ages are 16,13 5 , the oldest is fairly placid and ok to watch most things.

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pteromum · 04/10/2025 21:56

I’m no expert, but my guess is older ones bored, watching same thing two nights in a row. Split them, do older film and one night younger film for all occasionally. I have my niece and nephew here a lot. They would watch once but not two nights in a row with the wee ones.

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 04/10/2025 22:01

I’m not sure this is going to work with the ages of your DC. A 16 year old isn’t going to enjoy the same film as a 5 year old- try splitting the DC.

Would having a meal and playing a game work better as a starting point?

Original poster
TheNaturalBronde · 04/10/2025 22:06

DH ordered some food to have whilst watching the film but it didn’t seem to help, I felt sad for him, we started off with Hocus Pocus as a slight middle ground but changed to the animated as youngest wasn’t really following it,

i know it’s not the biggest problem but it makes me feel sad, it shouldn’t be this hard.
the oldest behaviour is not the issue at all btw it’s the 2 younger ones.

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 04/10/2025 22:10

My 6 year old still isn’t really into watching films. He just doesn’t have the attention span to do it all in one go and/or pay attention for the whole of it. About an hour is his max. I think maybe the ages are just too different.

Original poster
TheNaturalBronde · 04/10/2025 22:12

The thing is other night with just me& brother was fine,

its specifically when we are together it’s very difficult and hard to watch a film together

OP posts:
earphoneson · 04/10/2025 22:14

My dc doesn’t like movie night so we do it only rarely. He prefers board games or playing Lego games with his dad and watching a movie instead is a poor trade off for him.
He only now at eight started liking the cinema and following the movies without fidgeting in the middle. It’s just not a fun activity for every child.

Tagliateriroa · 04/10/2025 23:52

Why do you feel so strongly about watching a movie together? And many 5 year olds don’t have the interest or patience to watch a film. It seems a rather pointless thing to get hung up on.

alexdgr8 · 04/10/2025 23:57

I don't think a 5 year old has the mental development to follow and really enjoy a film.
You seem to have a chocolate box fantasy idea of happy families.
That will make you miserable.

user1492757084 · 05/10/2025 00:21

Try more non animated films.
Try expending energy with a long walk outside to the playground first.
Try having water and popcorn on tap, like at the real pictures.
Try starting film after entree size meal at five and eating a delicious pancake and icecreram sweets afterwards, talking about film.
Try reviewing comedies, musicals and animal films.
Sometimes venture out to see a film together in a real cinema.

Take advice as to which films meet with top reviews for families.
My favourites ..
Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang.
Bran Nue Dae
Australia
Sound of Music (and most musicals)
A Few Best Men
Charlotte's Web
Dumbo (animated)
Beauty and the Beast (animated musical)
Babe
WALL-E (animated)

TeaRoseTallulah · 05/10/2025 00:25

So do something else,you don't have to watch a film. There's only 3 of us and we find it hard enough and we're all adults 🤣

Pryceosh1987 · 05/10/2025 01:51

Have a meeting with your family to discuss the issues.

coxesorangepippin · 05/10/2025 01:54

Why on earth are you killing yourself over this

Once your five year old is asleep just watch something

Anabla · 05/10/2025 09:24

coxesorangepippin · 05/10/2025 01:54

Why on earth are you killing yourself over this

Once your five year old is asleep just watch something

This. I don't see this is a particularly big issue or indeed an issue at all, certainly not one that should be causing you to be at your "wits ends" or the amount of stress it seems to be causing you.

I think you've built this idea of a cosy family film night up in your head that the reality is never going to match up to your expectations. The crux of it is you have massive age gaps. A 16 year old is very unlikely to be wanting to spend their evenings watching a film a 5 year old would enjoy, let alone two nights in a row.

I think park the idea of you all enjoying the same film for now. It clearly isn't working and there's no point trying to force the issue. Do something with your 5 year old and once they are in bed, watch another film with your older ones.

Original poster
TheNaturalBronde · 05/10/2025 09:36

im just frustrated that they seem to be fine with one adult in the room
but when both of us are there it seems to just nosedive completely, the 16 year old is fine behaviour wise and the other 2 are only if there’s just one of us there. It’s a stressful situation that I’m trying to see if I can rectify , I don’t expect movie nights every week but occasionally might be nice.

OP posts:
mindutopia · 05/10/2025 09:37

Mine are 7 & 12 and we definitely can’t watch films together. 😂 Youngest is too little. He loses interest and they fight. All my attempts at Christmas films every night last year ended in him crying with his head under the blanket or watching Bluey on my phone separately. It’s just not as idyllic as in the movies this family life thing.

We do it separately. I take the oldest to the cinema or we do movie night when Dh takes the youngest camping or out to do an evening activity. It’s lovely then. But family movie nights, no.

Anabla · 05/10/2025 09:47

Honestly you're causing yourself so much undue stress and frustration over nothing. You keep saying it would be nice to do but it's only a nice idea in your head. It clearly isn't working for all 5 members of your family together and no one is getting anything out of it. I'm not sure why you're so determined to keep going forth with this movie night idea when it's causing everyone so much stress.

Stop getting frustrated and trying to understand things and just let the whole idea go. You say they can manage a movie night with one parent so just leave it at that. Stop giving yourself and everyone else unnecessary stress and drama.

Sassylovesbooks · 05/10/2025 09:54

The age gap between your 5 year old and 13 year old is too big, to be interested in the same films. A 5 year old is going to get bored by a film, they don't understand and your 13 year old, won't want to watch a film aimed at younger children. Why are you forcing a 'family movie' night, if it's clearly not working? All you're doing is setting yourself up for a night of disappointment, and unhappy kids!!! I understand you want to do an activity that involves the whole family, but given the ages of your children, it's going to be difficult to find something that is going to appeal to all 3 children.

TeaRoseTallulah · 05/10/2025 12:32

TheNaturalBronde · 05/10/2025 09:36

im just frustrated that they seem to be fine with one adult in the room
but when both of us are there it seems to just nosedive completely, the 16 year old is fine behaviour wise and the other 2 are only if there’s just one of us there. It’s a stressful situation that I’m trying to see if I can rectify , I don’t expect movie nights every week but occasionally might be nice.

But it's not nice so just do something else and stop ruminating over it. Have you been watching Instagram cosy family nights?

cestlavielife · 05/10/2025 13:25

Why ypu watching the same movie again? Choose a new one or one not seen for ages

earphoneson · 06/10/2025 09:24

TheNaturalBronde · 04/10/2025 21:51

So it was a Pixar film that we had watched the previous night

ages are 16,13 5 , the oldest is fairly placid and ok to watch most things.

I mean, on top of everything else, you are
a) watching the same movie as the night before
b) you had a movie night the night before

It’s hard to make this work even if they are similar ages with similar tastes. I don’t think the issue is having both their parents there. It’s just not fun for some/ any of them.

Peclet · 06/10/2025 09:27

What do you mean when it is the two adults in the room it nose dives?

Tillow4ever · 06/10/2025 09:58

Have you tried asking the kids what THEY want to do for family night? Or is it just that you want to watch a film so they have to like it or lump it?

How about suggesting you take it in turns to choose family night activity, and if anyone misbehaves they skip their turn to pick? If they pick movie night, they pick the film too (caveat being it has to be suitable for the youngest). I would allow the youngest to leave the room to do something else if they aren’t following the film… but our youngest was watching full Marvel films at 5 with his older brothers, so maybe you need to consider a different type of film?

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