Where can I access help as a parent?

[Hibbutyhop]

I have a daughter with ASD and honestly, every single day is so hard. I’m so tired. My nervous system is shot to pieces from being screamed at, constantly, whilst trying to hold down a job, manage the house and be a mum to my other children. Who can I talk to? I wish i could offload to a councillor who really gets it. Sobbing after a very lovely and well meaning family member has tried to rationalise my daughter’s latest meltdown. In another breath, someone would advise the total opposite. It feels so hard to know that caring for someone with a disability is exhausting, yet being exhausted triggers symptoms of their disability.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling OP. Who you can talk to really depends on what kind of support you are hoping to get. If you just want someone to listen & that you can offload to you can contact your GP for support & a referral for talking therapy, the list will be long but it’s even longer if you aren’t on it, or some charities offer therapy for a reduced price.

I hear you and I understand how exhauting it is to have a ND child.

Your GP can refer you for counselling. Do you attend in person or anyone line parenting support groups? I find these helpful.

Annoyed I spelt counsellor wrong in my OP- I blame tiredness! I guess I just want to be able to offload to someone who understands that I’m not able to ‘parent’ in the traditional sense and recognises how crazy it is to exist every day in this situation. I’m stuck in a perpetual hard spot- I have to parent, I am in that position of responsibility, I want to be a fantastic parent, but the very act of parenting triggers my child. And the cycle continues, over and over, for almost every part of every day. And if I show a hint of exhaustion or frustration, the meltdowns begin again because that distresses them too. My child sees me as being there to ‘serve’ their need (and I know that’s a part of the ASD) but the very act of caring for them depletes me so much, that I struggle to meet their needs. Sometimes their ‘need’ is completely inappropriate anyway which triggers another meltdown. It’s such a bizarrely complex situation and I’d love to be able to talk to someone who gets that. Nothing in the traditional sphere of parenting fits with what I’m experiencing.

Thank you both for replying :)

Op have you looked into local SEN charities? We recently moved cities & found an amazing one locally, there’s been great ones in our old places too (Cheshire, midlands and south coast). If you live near any of the above, let me know and I can link them. I’ve always found them by googling tbh, the most recent one offers counselling for free for SEN parents. There are also meet ups & days out which are a breath of fresh air for the children to play & adults to interact with other SEN parents.