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Original poster

My daughters are calling me a hypocrite because I'm ashamed of my acne

4 replies

AmIAHypocrite · 03/10/2025 19:58

I have two daughters, one is 17 and one is 12. The 17 year old has been dealing with acne for years while the 12 year old has been dealing with acne for months. I've had always tried to help them be confident with their looks.

I'm a single mom in my 40s and I started getting acne a few months ago. It has been hard on my self-esteem and confidence. I try hard to cover it up and I'm looking into treatments.

Both my daughters are calling me a hypocrite. Questions like "I thought you said a girl can be beautiful while she still has acne" and "if you think you look ugly then we look ugly" ? I feel like I'm letting them down. What do you think ?

OP posts:
Raquelos · 03/10/2025 20:08

Ouch, that's brutal. Speaking as someone who has suffered with acne on and off throughout my life. I think your best option is to sit them down and be honest. Their value doesn't come from having clear skin, and that is what you were trying to instil into them when you told them they were still beautiful and because you will always see their beauty. That said, you hadn't appreciated just how it knocked their confidence before and now you do, and you're sorry if they felt dismissed before. Then take them and yourself to the doctor (separately) to see what treatments they can recommend. There are some pretty effective options that can be prescribed. Best of luck.

Original poster
AmIAHypocrite · 03/10/2025 20:22

Raquelos · 03/10/2025 20:08

Ouch, that's brutal. Speaking as someone who has suffered with acne on and off throughout my life. I think your best option is to sit them down and be honest. Their value doesn't come from having clear skin, and that is what you were trying to instil into them when you told them they were still beautiful and because you will always see their beauty. That said, you hadn't appreciated just how it knocked their confidence before and now you do, and you're sorry if they felt dismissed before. Then take them and yourself to the doctor (separately) to see what treatments they can recommend. There are some pretty effective options that can be prescribed. Best of luck.

Thank you. Maybe I unintentionally gave them the impression that I think acne is no big deal. It was never my intention.

OP posts:
Ciderapplevinegar · 03/10/2025 23:52

I'm with them, this is hypocritical. There is no reason for them to suffer for years with acne. Get them a doctor's appointment. If topical antibiotics don't work try tablets. If that doesn't work escalate to a dermatologist and roaccutane.

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Katherina198819 · 04/10/2025 09:04

It it is. I also hate when you don’t like something about yourself and people say, “Oh, you’re still beautiful, it’s what’s inside that matters.” That kind of response feels like crap.

As a mum, you should understand how stressful it is for a teenager to deal with acne—I got it in my 30s and felt horrible about it.

Stop saying “it’s okay.” They have every right to be upset about it, and so do you.

If the NHS doesn’t help, go private. As a previous poster said, you shouldn’t just accept them having to struggle with this issue.

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