Reception Birthday Party – Whole Class or Just a Few?

[Parentoftwo1989]

Hi all,

My son has just started reception and his birthday is in January. I’ve noticed the general trend seems to be either inviting the whole class or keeping it small. We’ve decided to go with the latter, he’s quite a shy boy and would likely feel overwhelmed with 30 children.

I asked him what he’d prefer, and he said he’d rather have a few friends. So we’re planning to invite around 10 children from his class, plus some non-school friends and family.

Would this be okay? I know the class is 30 children, and I’m slightly worried about what other parents might think. I’m planning to send invites individually via message rather than handing them out at school.

Also, when’s a good time to send invites out for a January party?

Thank you in advance

Of course it’s ok! I’ve never done whole class parties. I invite people my children actually spend time with.
January is a bit tricky due to the Xmas holidays. Late Jan maybe as soon as they return. Early Jan you might need to send before Xmas.

Yes it’s fine. Do what’s best for your son. IME there’s usually enough party invites going around at reception age that parents wouldn’t feel slighted about missing out on a party or two. I think the drama starts later on when kids fall out with friends they were previously close with. Have a good party. I wouldn’t send the invites until after Xmas.

Unless it’s early Jan then before Xmas.

Thank you so much. We’re thinking the mid Jan as his birthday falls then. So invited before Christmas?

Yes definitely ok, especially as that is his preference.
The other parents probably won’t be phased - I would never expect my daughter to be invited to every single child’s party!
Also these days almost all invites have been via WhatsApp. Most parents start a WhatsApp group with the parents of the children invited and then it’s quicker to get RSVPs and dietaries, and also doesn’t make other children in the class feel left out when they don’t get an invite.
For a Jan birthday I would do invites end of December with a little reminder on the WhatsApp group the week before (eg ‘if you haven’t already please can you confirm dietaries for X’s party’ etc etc)

Send out the invites a month in advance if you can.

I have done class parties and actually they are hard work, expensive and pointless. As your child will only play with a handful of the kids attending!
Its useful to get to know the other parents but you’ll be rushed off your feet at your own class party so it’s no benefit really.

Sounds about right.

Thank you. This has been super helpful

I didn't ever do whole class parties. It wasn't expected and I didn't have room nor the money to do it.

In a big class it’s fine as long as you don’t do something obvious like invite all the boys apart from 1.

We do whole class because ours are tiny (5 EYFS and 5 Y1 in a mixed class) and invite nursery friends too so we have about 25. But DD is an extrovert party pro. I would much rather have just 10!

Its a good idea, but i also believe he can make friends at school that is the best thing to do. He needs to break out of his shyness and become more social and open. Its easy to make friends, as long as we are invested in engaging with others. Practice makes perfect in every area of life.

It’s fine. Whole class is more the norm and he may change his mind before January which is like half the year away still. But it’s fine.

I have no idea when others do small parties we aren’t invited to. And no one cares. In fact, they’ll be grateful to not have to come frankly! 😂

we’re planning to invite around 10 children from his class, plus some non-school friends and family

I wouldn't call that small!

I would go for around 5 or 6 friends as that's plenty.
I would send the invitations out when they go back in January.

Oh, and it is not only 'fine' to not invite the whole class, but it makes much more sense.

My daughter has just started year one and reception was a mix of whole class and small parties. A lot of the whole class parties were joint with another child.
We did do a whole class party joint with another child but as it was August we anticipated that it would actually be a small party due to holidays and we ended up with 12 including the two birthday girls and that was quite a nice number to have!

Yeah it’s fine, class parties are a big undertaking so people understand. We only had 2 when DS was in reception. Then about 5 smaller parties.